Posts from the ‘Corporate Culture’ Category

Dec 22

Undergrad Grub

According to Sodexo's "2010 College Food Trends" report the number one cafeteria item next year will be Apricot-Glazed Turkey. Er, okay. Number four is the very specific Vegetarian Lentil Shepherd's Pie.

I favor numbers three and five: Vietnamese Pho (Rice Noodle Soup) and Chicken Adobo (Mexican Stew with Chilies) even if chicken adobo is better known as the national dish of the Philippines.

The campus favorites by region are more straightforward—meatloaf, potpie—roast beef—with the exception of fish tacos for the Southwest.

I didn't go to a college with a cafeteria (I ate Chinese takeout from Safeway, jo jo potatoes from the same Safeway deli and sandwiches I made from cream cheese, avocado and fake crab) so food prepared specifically for youngsters enrolled in higher learning institutions is foreign and interesting. Same too, dorms.

Apricot-glazed turkey photo from Taste of Home, America's highest circulation food magazine. The dish must be more popular than I thought.

Share on Tumblr

Dec 20

You Could Already Be a Winner

So, the latest food-based reality show will center on personal chefs. All well and good but I’m still stuck on the tentatively named United Plates of America, a reality show competition focused on chain restaurant concepts.

Sadly, the window of opportunity for the chain I dreamt up in the late ‘90s: Totally Grubbin’ has long passed (a glass half-full blogger would call themselves a pioneer for having 11-year-old posts to refer to; I would use a different word to describe writing barely read nonsense online for over a decade). Now that it’s almost the 2010s I can't imagine there is a swath of America left that would be interested in anything tribal and Xtreme. For the modern consumer I might suggest an Ed Hardy theme restaurant.

Here are a few other concepts ripe for going national.

F.I.Y: fry-it-yourself fun where all tables are equipped with a built-in fryolator Korean barbecue-style. The restaurant provides the raw material and you simply batter and dip away. Does it get any fresher? There will be vegetable tempura for the dainty, fried chicken for the a la minute set, butter balls and Oreos for carnies and 10-patty cheeseburgers for the This is Why You're Fat crowd. Perhaps there will be a menu of batters to choose from. Ranch dip would most certainly be involved.

We must not let the Asians have all the fun. Sure, they’ve already taken the prison and hospital themes, not to mention a mayonnaise restaurant. And you thought eating from a toilet bowl was depraved? Please. Mixologists cover your ears, our bar will be called Douchebag, and yes, all drinks will be served in one. Who cares if the insult has been declared over or that just as with belted sanitary napkins, no one actually knows what a douchebag is anymore. Enemas? Now, that’s a concept for only a select few. I used to know people who would do wine enemas in public restrooms. The idea was to get drunker faster. I am sure there is a target audience for this somewhere in the US and I would love to be the one to introduce the idea on network television.

Gulp! If Rolling Stone can brand dining so can Yelp! and with a $500 million Google deal anything’s possible. Why not cut out the middle man and offer free food directly to Yelpers while providing handheld devices for instant reviews? Each week a different restaurant could have their fare featured in the cafe.

In a Nutshell will only serve allergens: peanuts, shellfish, gluten-rich foods. I see peanut-sauced shrimp over wheat pasta being a big seller.

In reality, I would like to see an American-style indoor hawker center like Food Republic in Singapore. I've always imagined that if I were an kooky rich person like Michael Jackson I would build my Neverland of chefs flown from all over SE Asia to pretty much accommodate me and guests of my choosing (who might just include a grown Macaulay Culkin). If I were really rich and eccentric I would devote my resources into creating a Stargate-type device that could transport me anywhere on the globe for a meal and then return me safely to my apartment. But minus any aliens or ethnically ambiguous people (him too).

Share on Tumblr

Dec 17

Buzzkill

Maybe getting your server’s attention is a common problem in casual dining chains–hence the need for Applebee’s introducing a device to buzz your waiter–but I’ve always found the opposite to be true.

Then again, I’m probably a nightmare for servers because I eat incredibly slow and always throw off the pacing. I’m never ready when they periodically check-in and the entrée always shows up way before I’m done with my starter. I need an anti-buzzer.

However, Jan Higgins, 42, of Deltona, loves the concept. "The idea that we don't have to wait, we don't have to flag somebody down, that's awesome."

Photo: Joe Burbank/Orlando Sentinel

Share on Tumblr

Nov 19

T.G.I. Thursday’s

It's as if Thanksgiving is either for marathon kitchen duties or fine dining (even I’m guilty of perpetuating that). Who's to say you can't chain it up on our nation's day of gluttony?

Here is a selection of Thanksgiving options at chain restaurants. This is by no means exhaustive so please let me know if you are aware of more.

Boston Market

This is kind of a duh Thanksgiving-wise since they sell turkey, gravy and the like year-round. You can eat a limited menu in-store or take advantage of their "Catered Holiday Buffets" starting at $9.99 per person that can also be delivered. Lane Cardwell, CEO of Boston Market says "Our traditional holiday meals help families spend more time making memories with loved ones and less time in the kitchen." The concept of intentionally making memories gives me the creeps.

Cracker Barrel
Starting at 11am on Thanksgiving
you’ll be able to eat enjoy oven-baked turkey breast, cornbread
dressing, gravy, baked sugar-cured ham, sweet potato casserole with
caramel pecan topping, cranberry relish, your choice of a vegetable,
biscuits or corn muffins, pumpkin pecan streusel pie and a beverage
(excluding milkshakes) for a mere $8.99. Unfortunately, the nearest
Cracker Barrel to my zipcode is 47 miles away in Mt. Arlington, New
Jersey.

Dallas BBQ
Wouldn’t a Texas-sized blue Hawaii (or even their new Bubbalicious cocktail with a shot of bubble gum vodka) and Hennessy wings be the perfect accompaniment for a turkey dinner? $14.99 will get you roast turkey, chicken vegetable soup, stuffing, baked sweet potato, cornbread, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie at everyone’s favorite cheapo rib joint Dallas BBQ. There appears to be no way to directly link to this special on their website but it is posted on Facebook.

Domino's
No turkey pizza but…they claim they will deliver 1.1. million pizzas in the US on November 26, a 50% increase over usual Wednesdays. "Thanksgiving Eve is one of our busiest days of the year," says Jenny Fouracre, Domino's Pizza spokeswoman.

Popeyes
Despite no hint of its fried nature in the official name, Popeyes’ Cajun-style turkeys
have indeed spent some time in bubbling oil (though I don’t think
they’re cooked on site). You must place your order five days in
advance, but for some reason I have zero faith in the Court St.
location nearest me doing this correctly.

Ruby Tuesday
They are keeping it traditional with a $12.99 meal
that includes turkey medallions, mashers (a.k.a. mashed potatoes),
stuffing, cranberry chutney and snap peas. Not so traditional is their
apostrophe usage: "Thanksgiving Feast (Sized Just Right) for the Kid's"
You can actually reserve a table at the Times Square location (and
others) online. Fancy.

TGI Friday’s
Did someone say half-priced loaded potato skins?. T.G.I. Friday’s will be taking a contrarian approach and encouraging drinking and football over creating family memories. Says John Neitzel, president and chief operating officer, "We invite you to step away from the turkey and up to the bar this year. You'll find half-price appetizers including great new wing flavors, drink specials where they'll let us, back to back football games in HD and that 'Thank God It's Friday's' attitude you won't find anywhere else.”

Thank God that attitude will be confined to 12 confined locations around NYC.

White Castle
Every year I say I’m going to try the slider stuffing recipe and every year I don’t. This year I won’t either but I like knowing that such a creation exists.

Thanksgiving pizza photo from Junk Food Blog.

Share on Tumblr

Nov 5

Feeling Good in More Neighborhoods

For better or worse, uptown residents can now get their riblets closer to home. The city’s latest Applebee’s recently appeared in the new mall at Bronx Terminal Market and according to this Craigslist ad, the soon-to-open Harlem Applebee’s is hiring.

I’ve been semi-seriously toying with the idea of extricating myself from office work, though I don’t neccessarily see myself as a server, cook, dishwasher, host, bartender or expediter (all available positions). I haven’t worked food service since 1990 when I was a dough maker in a delivery-only Pizza Hut.

Then again, the ad does say, ”experience is a PLUS” not a requirement.

Share on Tumblr

Oct 9

Who Can Eat More Than Two Bowls of Pasta, Anyway?

Times are tough for a chain. Red Robin is only giving kids a two-pack of blue and red crayons now instead of the four they used to provide. Bye bye green and yellow.

And even though I know suburban chains in NYC are often disappointing and expensive, I still paid a visit to the Chelsea Olive Garden Wednesday night. I was curious if they were honoring the Never Ending Pasta Bowl promotion that lasts until the end of this week.

When this Olive Garden first opened, it was packed and waits were long. Now, the handheld beepers are getting cobwebby. No one was waiting out front or in the lobby, we were immediately seated and empty tables abounded. And they were out of everything, the advertised Oktoberfest Sam Adams, the pork marsala in the glossy tableside advertisements. A total sinking ship.

And as on my last NEPB spot check, there is no evidence of the promotion anywhere on site. When you consider that my seafood portofino (which I chose because it was one of the few pastas under 1,000 calories—I’m one of those oddballs whose ordering is influenced by calorie posting) was $20.50—what food at real restaurants cost—why they keep the Never Ending Pasta Bowl under tight wraps is obvious. When we asked about the $8.95 all-you-can-eat special, our cheery but exasperated waitress (the guy sitting directly behind me in the attached booth was giving her and his date a horrible time, total domestic abuser) just handed us her corporate cheat sheet with the list of pastas, sauces and request that servers suggest unlimited meatballs to customers for an additional $1.99. I should’ve snapped a photo—who knows when these trade secrets could come in handy?

In the meantime, I’m curious about the all-you-can-eat-pasta night in the works at Locanda Verde. I suspect it’ll be more than $8.95. Then again, you can get Spaghetti alle Vongole there for $1.50 less than Olive Garden’s seafood pasta.

Share on Tumblr

Oct 9

You Say It’s Your Birthday

When I first moved to NYC, I had a plan to eat at a chain restaurant for every holiday. This only lasted for one Christmas Eve at TGI Friday and the following Easter at Olive Garden. My genius has gone unfulfilled ever since.

One thing I never did was celebrate birthdays at a chain (ok, I did have my sixth or seventh at Farrell's along with the son of a family friend who was also born on July 25. His dad's name was Tom Sawyer, which was always kind of weird) of if I attended such a dinner for another, no mention was made to staff and no special songs were sung.

Now I can witness what I’ve been missing out on. Digital City has compiled a list of videos showcasing birthday songs from six chain restaurants.

Share on Tumblr

Oct 8

Fit For a King

Outback Steakhouse isn’t the only chain getting a revamp. 12,000 Burger King locations worldwide are getting a new look.

It’s up to you to decide if corrugated metal, TV screen menus and flame chandeliers qualify as, “so much more like an upscale restaurant,” as their CEO John Chidsey puts it. Maybe if you’re from Miami, which BK is.

Share on Tumblr

Sep 1

Keep It Like a Secret

It never occurred to me what a fuddy-duddy I am. I don’t think I’ve ever ordered a secret menu item or even know about any. I just take what I’m offered. Even substitutions are a foreign concept to me.

But Mental Floss has a top 10 list of these hidden menu treasures. I’m still trying to figure out if Popeye’s “naked chicken” is skinless or just breading-free. Not that I would eat my pseudo-Cajun chicken without a solid quarter-inch of golden crust.

I can’t help but suspect that all of the customization touted in the comments wouldn’t be accommodated in NYC.

Share on Tumblr

Aug 26

My Never Ending Story

Never Ending Pasta Bowls are sporadic and fleeting as a mythical New York City autumn (seriously, it's near 90s then all of a sudden it's 45 and everyone's wearing hats and gloves). It's possible that there is a rhyme and reason to their appearance; maybe I should start a tracker.

But the $8.95 promotion is on now and is anything but never ending so get on it. Just be aware that if you're in NYC (or perhaps elsewhere) there will be no mention of it or any in-store signage. You'll be forced to ask for the deal, though there is no shame because this is Olive Garden, and all will be explained verbally. During my one and only experience with this special, I was surprised at the number of pasta types and sauces available but the 42 options are not committed to print so brush up here beforehand.

Such is the ephemeral nature of all you can eat starch in the city.

Share on Tumblr

Posts from the ‘Corporate Culture’ Category

Undergrad Grub

You Could Already Be a Winner

Buzzkill

T.G.I. Thursday’s

Feeling Good in More Neighborhoods

Who Can Eat More Than Two Bowls of Pasta, Anyway?

You Say It’s Your Birthday

Fit For a King

Keep It Like a Secret

My Never Ending Story

Featured

Occasional Instagramming

Yes, it’s come to this

My Other Blogs

What?

The Past Will Haunt You

Pigeonholing 101