Goodies First

Apr 25

Kim Gary

Kim Gary serves Hong Kong-style cuisine in Malaysia and Singapore. Chinese with last-century Western touches like the cheese-baked rice dishes on many tables. So many layers, so completely un-American. We ate in the middle of a mall in Penang.

You are handed like five different laminated photo-filled menus. It’s overwhelming; the food is nonsensical as it is. I’m still not clear if the diner is supposed to mark off the items they want on the black and white order sheet or if the waitress is supposed to. We let her do it.

“Borsch” comes with the combo meals. Bastardized Russian food, the product of mid-century émigrés, still lingers in Hong Kong. I don’t think a beet had come anywhere near this soup. This was tomato-based and had a few soft carrot coins floating around.

Shanghai ribs were nothing special, tough meat in sweetish soy sauce atop rice with corn and broccoli.

Meat fries because why not?

Kim Gary * Gurney Plaza, Penang, Malaysia

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Apr 25

La Mer

As I begin to wrap up my dutiful What I Ate on Vacation Coverage (jeez, it’s almost May and I’ve been back since early March—I really do think I’ll wake up one day, realize I’m 50 years old, and freak) the strays start surfacing.

I wouldn’t bother mentioning La Mer, the only restaurant at the top of Khao Takiab, a site known for its Buddhist temple, statues and wild roaming monkeys, because it screams tourist trap, literally. If driven up the windy road to the top of the rock, there’s no place else to eat within reasonable walking distance. We had half about 40 minutes to kill before being picked back up.

On the other hand, La Mer has the distinction of serving the hottest food we ate in Thailand. We had to remind ourselves that it was clearly geared toward Thai tourists, not New Yorkers. We got ice for our beer like the locals and tried to fit in.

This soupy tangle of razor clams, basil, chiles and krachai was powerful, peppery. The chewy mollusks delivered the kind of heat that creeps into your ears and won’t let up. Cold beer and a big bowl of rice, the best remedies.

This papaya salad with seafood, a dish I ate quite a few times in Thailand, was at least four times hotter than any we were served in Bangkok. Not unbearable, just very sharp and a nice complement to the crisp tart shredded fruit.

By the half-way point of our trip, sitting outside became more tolerable, though not preferable. It’s not like there was air conditioning inside anyway.

La Mer * Khao Takiab, Hua Hin, Thailand

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Apr 23

MOSDO!

Today marks the birth of a mind-blowing Japanese hybrid: MOSDO! A combination MOS Burger/Mister Donut. We only have Taco Bell/Pizza Hut, a pathetic duo not even close to competing with the Japanese capacity for novelty (though it is the perfect subject for a ridiculous catchy song).

From what I can visually deduce, sets are being offered: three burgers that can be paired with three doughnuts and a drink. They also have something called Hot & Cool, a doughnut cut in half and topped with ice cream and a fruity sauce, which I did not see at any of the Bangkok locations last month. (It’s hard to believe that CentralWorld, home to MOS Burger and Mister Donut, and countless hotels are currently closed due to the political unrest in Thailand. This time it’s red shirts. Bangkok was essentially shut down during my originally planned visit late 2008 by yellow shirts. I did find an email from one of the hotels I had booked kind of charming, “Your money has been refunded due to the political.” I have referred to this situation as “The Political” ever since. And yes, I realize there are more serious subjects than burgers and doughnuts in the world but this is a food blog.)

You know that this is a Japanese venture because they don’t mingle the two brands too closely. It’s still pure. We would take the next logical step and put a MOS Burger inside a Mister Donut. Duh. It only took a week before the Double Down got Krispy Kreme’d. [Japan Today]

Photo from Yomiuri Online.

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Apr 23

MOS Burger

MOS Burger is so civilized. Sane portions, sodas served in real glasses with coasters, food brought to your table, spotless. I didn’t feel guilty or dinner-wrecking by stopping in for a late afternoon combo.

I’m not terribly adventurous because the first and last time I tried MOS in Singapore, I ordered the same thing: the spicy cheeseburger. Strange, because it’s mayonnaisey and that’s not a condiment I normally tolerate. The burger is so foreign that I just have to suspend my prejudices and enjoy the small patty doused in mild chopped onion chile sauce, and bolstered by cheese, a fat tomato slice and yes, that mayonnaise.

If I ever find myself near a MOS Burger again, I will try one of the rice burgers using pressed rice spheres for buns. Ebi or unagi?

MOS Burger * CentralWorld, Bangkok, Thailand

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Apr 22

Speaking of Taste of Home

I broke my five-day staying in the house streak yesterday and forced myself to go into the office. You don’t realize how obnoxious coughing fits sound (though I have an unusually low tolerance for the sound of coughing) until you’re surrounded by others in near silence. Today I am back at home where I can choke on food and hack up phlegm in peace.

Tuesday, I still had Sichuan leftovers in the house as well as some homemade pho from a not half-bad Cooking Light recipe (you never know with them). Normally, all I want to eat is Asian food. But both of those options sounded meh. What I really wanted and rarely ever think about was eggs and bacon in a tortilla. Meatloaf? Mac and cheese? No, not comfort food to me.

Who knew the foresight in my family? This slapdash meal that we frequently ate for both breakfast and dinner presaged the wrap craze and the breakfast burrito of the late ‘80s. This was a popular item in my household for obvious reasons: the ingredients are cheap, it’s easy to make—it was one of the few things my dad cooked, and my sister and I ate it without complaint, and we complained a lot.

The simple process involved warming a flour tortilla on a gas stovetop burner, then filling it with one fried egg, bacon (I say two pieces), grated cheddar cheese and a scoop of jarred salsa, probably Pace.

I think it’s the fried egg that makes it because logically you would use scrambled eggs in a breakfast burrito. Breaking the rules. I always had my bacon undercooked so it was still chewy and fatty (my sister like hers crisp), often the tortilla would be blackened in spots and the cheese never fully melted creating sharp orange patches. This wasn’t plate food—another advantage, no dishes—you would eat it wrapped in a paper towel. Inevitably, the yolk would burst and pool at the bottom, soaking through the napkin.

Recreating this special, I had to resist many temptations. No fancy cheese. I pushed aside the aged gouda and Manchego in the fridge, though I did deviate by using a slice of Kraft Deluxe American cheese for its melting properties (I have a sick obsession with these slices). I would also be inclined to use Sriracha, but used a bland watery jar of Target salsa leftover from Super Bowl. Besides, you need the tomato chunks; it’s not really about the heat. Sometimes we have nicer bacon in the house, but these low sodium strips from Costco did what they were supposed to. I guess freshly laid eggs, you know from the backyard chickens that everyone is keeping now, would completely gild the lily, but I don’t eat like that. I’m still not sure how brown organic eggs even ended up in the fridge. I think it’s because at Fairway, their house brand is the same price as a standard Styrofoam carton of eggs.

I also never said this was healthy, and it’s certainly isn’t helping with the ten pounds I vowed to lose in 2010 (sometimes I think I will just have to give up reading rood blogs—it pains me to eat my morning oatmeal when I’m constantly reading about things like peanut bacon Shake Shack burgers and artisanal egg and cheese biscuits). How hard can one pound per month be? I will eat fruit and yogurt for lunch and all will be well.

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Apr 22

Feeling Good in Certain Neighborhoods

Chain restaurant queries that lead searchers here range from:

The typical
jose tejas coupons woodbridge nj

To the thought provoking (it doesn’t take much to provoke me). I never associated Cheesecake Factory with cheese.
cheesecake factory cheese platter

To the distressing. I tried Tyler Florence’s now-gone menu a few years ago at the Linden Applebee’s and will now associate this misbehavior with him.
semen in my food at linden applebees

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Apr 22

It’s Always Cheesy in Philadelphia

I always look forward to my copy of Taste of Home. It only comes every other month and brings me a different joy than Saveur, which I intend to read but rarely get through, Bon Appetit and Food & Wine, which are skimmers or Cooking Light, the only magazine I regularly cook from even though it’s the least exciting.

Taste of Home’s foundation is every day meals, nothing wildly exotic or labor intensive with no fear of cans or packages. I could imagine the chicken & vegetable stir-fry or the apricot-glazed pork tenderloin ending up on my table if I were a child today.

I’m only on my second issue, but I’m already seeing themes emerging.

So bad it’s bad: alfredo sauce and cream cheese where they don’t really belong. In fact, there is a full page Philadelphia ad advising readers, “Make your pasta more primo when you stir in ½ cup of Philly.” There is a section on the Kraft Foods site called, “i never thought i could add Philly to..” The lowercase is supposed to make putting cream cheese in Cajun, Thai and Latin dishes to make the spice more palatable, seem innocent? And I just saw a TV ad where Paula Deen is encouraging the abuse of cream cream cheese, too. Actually, it’s a contest—I’m now going to think up the most inappropriate placement of cream cheese in a foodstuff. Caesar salad? Baked beans? Barbecue sauce?

In this issue, the soft cheese is called for in easy enchiladas, meatball sub casserole and pretty stuffed spring peas. Alfredo sauce shows up in a white chili (at least it’s not white from mayonnaise) and a chicken cordon bleu pizza invented by a teenage boy, so you kind of have to give him some props for experimenting in the kitchen.

Some things are put where they don’t belong but are genius. Yep, bacon baklava.

So bad it’s good: peanut butter brownie trifle. This dish is simply mini peanut butter cups and brownies baked with peanut butter chips interspersed with layers of instant vanilla pudding and topped with frozen whipped topping, a.k.a. Cool Whip. Just as I didn’t know that wine coolers were malt liquor, I had no idea Cool Whip wasn’t a dairy product for many years. And I would totally eat a big bowl of this trifle right now and wash it all down with a Blue Hawaiian Bartles & Jaymes.

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Apr 19

Bali Hai Seafood

1/2 Our last night in Penang, I went back to Gurney Drive to try the pasembur that I missed the first time. Sadly, the stall wasn’t open and on this weeknight, only half the seating was out creating a madhouse, scrambling for tables effect. What else was nearby? We walked down to Bali Hai, a sprawling outdoor seafood restaurant with a flashy neon sign and a wall of choose-your-own-creature fish tanks.

Also, popular in Hong Kong and Singapore, I’d always shied away from this style of dining because quickly calculating grams to ounces while simultaneously doing currency conversions makes me nervous and I’m paranoid that I will end up with a massive bill. This did end up being our most expensive meal in Penang but even with three large sharable Calsbergs (the territorial aspect of SE Asian dining always throws me. When approached by the Indian woman dressed in a green miniskirt ensemble we asked for Tiger beer, but she was the Carlsberg server. You had to order from the Chinese Tiger beer girl if you wanted Tiger. Meanwhile, there was a rogue satay guy who didn’t seem to have any affiliation with the restaurant) it was under $50.

The covered open space, sticky despite fans blowing water, was filled with large round tables, many occupied by groups of men, coworkers, showing a Westerner, maybe a boss, maybe a peer, a good time. The primo spots were thatched hut booths in the front. We had a roomy picnic-type table on the outer perimeter.

Mantis prawns. I’ve always wanted to try these giant crustaceans, despite their creepy name and buggy, armored appearance. Not inexpensive, these were about $10 apiece. The impenetrable shells come scored, diners are brought scissors. I copied the guy at a table near ours and scraped out the meat with a spoon. It turned out to be a lot of work for not a lot of payoff, like blue crabs. The chili sauce was barely touched because I couldn’t wrangle any tidbits substantial enough for dipping.

Here are some live mantis prawns in action. As you can see, they also had quite a selection of geoduck. The prehistoric-looking animals are often touted as a Northwest delicacy but I never encountered them in Portland and have still yet to try them. I’m not sure how they are served in Malaysia.

Kang kong, a.k.a. water spinach, prepared with shrimp paste and chile is a typical Malaysian vegetable. Accents are very subtle. Our waiter, who had to be sent over to our table because he was the only fluent English-speaker, had no idea what I was asking for when I said kang like in kangaroo. A’s are softer like in almond; his pronunciation was more like kong kong, the A barely different from the O. My pronunciation of pandan was corrected on my last visit to Malaysia, so you think I would’ve remembered. Normally, I hate stems and try to avoid them raw. This style of water spinach is so savory and hearty that I forgot about being scared of the hollow stems.

I picked out a sea bass that would be good for two, like I said, grams don’t mean anything to me visually. This fish, fried to a crisp, was amazing and almost Thai in flavor. It was served with a very spicy green mango slaw and lots of shallots and mint leaves.

Despite a substantial amount of blog posts and having their own website, I have no idea what Bali Hai’s address might be of if they even have one. Such details seem superfluous in much of Southeast Asia.

Bali Hai Seafood * Gurney Dr., Penang, Malaysia

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Apr 18

Metro Cafe

It’s Sunday afternoon, and I haven’t left the house since Wednesday. Shuffling between my bed and couch, fevered, sore throat, sinuses infected, unable to concentrate, I’ve been going stir crazy. Maybe food would help?

Last night I was brought take out from Metro Café, the Brooklyn Sichuan/Japanese restaurant that I’ve been meaning to try. Obviously, I can’t speak to the décor or service.

I can speak to James knowing my taste. Even though he pestered me (I’ve lost my voice and trying to talk is excruciating) with five calls from Hong Kong Supermarket on subjects like, “What is a wide rice noodle?” Er, go to the rice noodle section and look for the least skinny variety. “What’s the difference between noya bok choy and shanghai bok choy?” I have no idea what noya is, I’m guessing a handwritten typo. “Do we have star anise? Limes? Cardamom pods?” Yes, no, yes. All I had to say in regard to what to order at Metro Café was, “something cold like tendon or tripe” and I was given pigs' ears. That’s definitely what I would’ve chosen if I had had a menu in front of me.

The ears, sliced into ribbons, were a nice balance of crunch and chew. I did not detect a strong peppercorn tingle, but I’m afraid that I’m missing out the full flavor spectrum. You would think that bold spice and chile oil would be the perfect match for a palate-dulling cold–I just nibbled a few bites of a chocolate bunny and could barely taste a thing–but I’ve encountered an inexplicable sensation, once before while at Sripraphai while sick, that hot food tastes even hotter, painfully so. I could only eat a few bites. Should I have new sympathy for people who claim to be unable to tolerate hot food?

Same with the cumin beef, which is similar to lamb preparations at other Sichuan restaurants (there is no lamb at Café Metro). I’ve never thought this was a punishing dish. Sure, there’s heat from the grilled green chiles; the overall sensation is an oily cuminy one, though. I’ll save this till tomorrow.

The double cooked pork is always one of my favorite dishes, super unctuous, mixed with tons of grease-softened leeks. This pork was a little dry despite sporting fatty layers. Odd. Still pretty good. I could eat the savory, black bean-enhanced onion and leek slices all by themselves on rice.

Water spinach, because you need a green vegetable.

I'll return for a dine-in version after I perk up. Chong qing chicken and a fish dish next time.

Metro Café * 4924 8th Ave., Brooklyn, NY

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Apr 17

Aw Taw Kaw Market

Upscale is the adjective frequently used to describe Aw Taw Kaw, the wet market across the street from Chatuchak. The stalls are orderly and clean, the prices are elevated, but it’s not exactly like Aw Taw Kaw would be mistaken for the food hall at CentralWorld And your typical American grocery shopper? I think they’d have a hard time calling any store without air conditioning upscale.

It is a great place for ogling produce, meat and prepared foods, even if you can sample a few things. I headed to the food court first. Unless you’ve spent some time in Thailand (a few weeks doesn’t count for me) or can read Thai, it’s not always obvious what each stand is selling just based on the observable ingredients on display.

You can see what others order or go the easy route and find a vendor with many sturdy pots out in the open.

A generous helping of rice is spooned onto a plate and you’re given two choices to top it. I pointed at what appeared to be a dry, catfish curry with chile and basil and a soupier curry with fatty strips of pork and what I think was krachai, a rhizome that showed up everywhere in Thailand but is more elusive here unless you like it pickled in a jar. This was some of our favorite food in Bangkok. Curry on rice, simple. I guess we’re easy to please.

I don’t think satay is ever very exciting even when it’s good. James tended to pick up a few skewers everywhere we went.

A father and daughter next to us were playing with a rabbit on their table that I assumed to be a pet (you can buy them at Chatuchak) and not intended for a soup pot. I thought he was cute, at one point he jumped off the table and tried hopping away, but I gathered that animals on dining tables aren’t universally loved. A nearby woman wouldn’t stop glowering. In NYC people act like they don’t care about anomalies, in Asia no one has qualms about delivering an overt look of disapproval.

You may or may not know that I am obsessed with food in unusual colors (I don’t want to say unnatural because I suspect these hues weren’t from synthetic dye) so green, periwinkle and maroon rice completely wowed me. I wish I could’ve tasted the difference among all five styles but there is only so much eating one can do. Besides, I wasn’t sure how they were intended to be eaten.

Taut plastic bags filled with unknown liquids.

Dried fish and shrimp.

So much pork. We did get some slices and chile dip to go.

Som tam kits. Maybe this is what is meant by upscale. Actually, now that I’m looking at this photo again, I’m not sure why I thought this was fixings for a papaya salad. There’s nothing papaya-ish about the mysterious brown squiggles on the upper right side of each package.

Grilled seafood.

Thai marzipan, bean paste not ground almonds.

Pork shanks standing upright.

What does the staff eat on their break? Pizza from The Pizza Company.

Giant melons.

Curry pastes packed into dense mounds much like mole in Mexico. We bought a few small packets but haven’t used them yet.

Something as simple as ordering coconut ice cream could end up being complicated. There were numerous tubs of white ice cream, each a different flavor from what I gathered were different varieties of coconut. I’ve never had a choice about what kind of coconut I’d like to eat. And then you are allowed to pick three toppings from an array of glass jars, maybe 15. This is tab tim grob, a.k.a. red rubies, a.k.a. water chestnuts coated in scarlet tapioca starch, candied slivers of pumpkin and something that they call sea coconut in Malaysia. I have no idea what it’s called in Thai…ok, now I do: look dtao, palm seed.

A convenience store on the perimeter had pay toilets and a cat trying to cool off. A lot of the cats in Thailand seemed as hot and beat up as I was.

Aw Taw Kaw Market * Phaholyothin Rd., Bangkok, Thailand

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Kim Gary

La Mer

MOSDO!

MOS Burger

Speaking of Taste of Home

Feeling Good in Certain Neighborhoods

It’s Always Cheesy in Philadelphia

Bali Hai Seafood

Metro Cafe

Aw Taw Kaw Market

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