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Posts from the ‘Shovel Time’ Category

Voodoo Doughnut

It’s not as if the cupcake craze hasn’t overtaken Portland (not even the Middle East isn't immune to such fluff) but I still feel like it’s more of a doughnut town. Maple bars, specifically.

I never even particularly enjoyed those syrupy sweet tan-frosted oblongs, but I immediately noticed their absence when I first moved to NYC. Who knew maple bars were regional? And even more incongruously, why do they thrive in the Northwest, a region not known for maple trees yet are nonexistent in New England, maple syrup central?

Vodoo doughnuts bacon maple bar

Cult doughnut-hawkers, Voodoo Doughnut, knows how to use one of the culinary world’s most played out tropes—bacon making everything better—to their advantage. Thick sugary maple frosting and salty bacon strips padded by tender yeasty pasty are decadent, kind of gross yet totally makes sense. There are both more classic and more artisanal doughnut purveyors in town, but I wanted maple and bacon.

These would be amazing warm out of the oven, but judging from the near-constant lines around the block (this photo was from Sunday around noon and that red door is not the entrance–that's about half-way down the street) you take what you can get. We went back the same Sunday a little after midnight and there was still about a 15-minute-wait. A friend who lives in Portland happened to try their Northeast location that very same evening and claims to have waited 30 minutes.

Voodoo doughnut line

One of my takeways from this brief visit was that Portland has way too many lines (I also waited just shy of half an hour for a cup of Stumptown coffee where in Brooklyn you can get it in a fraction of that amount of time) and is obviously in need of more brunch options, kooky doughnut shops, quality coffee and spot on Thai food. There’s high demand for all of this, even if thought that Portland had already hit coffee saturation point.

Local grocer Fred Meyer has certainly caught on to this demand. I spied Fruit Loop encrusted doughnuts in their bakery case, which are a blatant Voodoo Doughnut rip off.

Voodoo Doughnut * 22 SW Third Ave. Portland, OR

Woorijip

I was going to say that Woorijip is the Yip’s of Koreatown (yet actually good) but really Woorijip is more like the Café Zaiya of Koreatown. Only Yip’s can be Yip’s.

Woorijip exterior

Woorijip is geared towards Koreans and neighborhood office workers just happen to enjoy their grab and go lunch options where I’ve never seen a Chinese person ever perusing the steam table at Yip’s. Being my first visit, I was a little overwhelmed with choices and didn’t fully absorb all that was to be had. With refrigerated cases, warm cases, the self-serve buffet, dessert racks and supposedly an occasional noodle bar, this is the type of eatery that requires strategizing and more than one visit to develop a sense of what’s worth your time.

At the late-ish side of lunch, close to 2pm, the scene was less chaotic than anticipated. I got behind what appeared to be the Latino kitchen crew in line at the buffet. They were seriously loading up, mostly on meaty things and rice. Many of the trays were approaching empty, but I was at least able to survey based on signage what may be available on a typical day (not that it matters on a practical level since I’m in the vicinity during lunchtime like never).

Woorijip buffet togo

Partially out of thriftiness and mostly out of caloric caution, I hit these buffets with the notion of supplementing granola bars, yogurt, fruit, nuts, soup, whatever I’ve brought from home to work. If all I ate were the above, I would be depressed and starving. Small, inexpensive quantities of random Asian food cheers me up.

I rarely go over $3.50 at Yip’s but they’re only $3.49 per pound after 1:45pm. Woorijip is somewhere around $6.50 per pound so I kept that in mind. I still managed to only spend $4.09 on some cellophane noodles, bean curd slab, stir-fried pork, fried squid and seafood pancake that all got smooshed around in the styrofoam container. It's not pretty to look at.

Woorijip radish kimchi

I also picked up a $3 plastic tub of radish kimchi, which totally smelled up the subway. I didn’t realize I was the stinky culprit until I got to my desk at work and noticed the odor was following me and didn’t stay behind in the subway system. The kimchi I’ll eat throughout the week with other stuff.

I would trade Yip’s for Woorijip in a millisecond. I love greasy Americanized Chinese food on occasion, but the spicier, cleaner flavors of Korean would be more welcome on a regular basis. Though in a totally different vein, I am excited to hear that Bon Chon is coming down to the Financial District.

Woorijip * 12 W. 32 St., New York, NY

Taste Good

1/2 Sometimes you need distance to see the silliness in food debates. It’s doubtful that anyone outside NYC cares about who serves the best fried chicken (though to be fair that’s more of a discussion than a debate, and a fun one). And I can say with 100% certainty that the average American has no idea what Ampang yong tau foo is, let alone whether it’s Singaporean or Malaysian. But Malaysia is all cranky over Singapore’s successful food branding (at least in the region—once again, I think they may be overestimating a worldwide perception that Singapore is a culinary destination) and are trying to play catch up.

As a Westerner who’s been to both Singapore and Malaysia, I know a very obvious way that Malaysia could differentiate themselves and appeal to global foodies: artisanal cred. Coconut milk squeezed from the flesh the not a can, cendol colored green with pandan not dye, curries from freshly pounded rempahs not packaged pastes, satay grilled over charcoal not gas. Slow food, Southeast Asian-style.

The only real effect this article had on me, though, was the need for a bowl of laksa. Lemak, a.k.a. Singaporean-style, I’m afraid. I just don’t trust that they’re going to get assam version right here. Copious amounts of coconut milk can mask more ills than sour fishy broth.

Taste good singapore laksa

The version at Elmhurst’s Taste Good was better than I had expected. I say that because in Malaysia, as in many countries, street food is specialized and often kept to a handful of choices. How can a menu with hundreds of offerings all be good? And Taste Good uses the term laksa very loosely with a list of 35 dishes beneath that heading that include Hong Kong-style beef noodle soup, Hokkien mee, tom yum mee hoon, and both curry and assam laksas. All over the place. 

The Singapore kari laksa, in their parlance, was creamy with enough spice to cut through the richness and contained nice fat rice noodles. The menu gives no hint what the toppings might be, and there was a surprising hodgepodge: small shrimp, half a hard boiled egg, shredded chicken, slices of fish cake, bean sprouts and my favorite, fried bean curd puffs. These spongy squares absorb the broth and dispense a mouthful when you bite into them. The only thing missing was sambal and lime wedges. 

Taste good rojak

Rojak is dressed with an eerily dark sauce of sweetened, tangy prawn paste. I love it but I know many who can’t stand the smell of belacan. A woman, who appeared to be in charge, was asking a non-Malaysian Asian diner, “Doesn’t the smell bother you?” Apparently, it didn’t. Love or hate, no one is neutral on the smell of roasted shrimp paste.

Hiding under all the black goo topped with sesame seeds were jicama, pineapple, cuttlefish, cucumber, chopped peanuts and chunks of crueler. After sitting awhile, the fried dough performs the opposite function of the tasty bean curd in the laksa. I drunkenly picked at leftover rojak that evening and almost choked on all of the pungent sauce that oozed from the now mushy and disintegrating cruelers.

Taste good rendang noodles

I’ve never heard of dry curry beef rendang noodles but here they are. Rendang seems more suited to rice, if you ask me.

For NYC Malaysian food with a Chinese bent, I was satisfied by Taste Good. Purists, I’m sure would find details to nitpick.

Taste Good * 82-18 45th Ave., Elmhurst, NY

Laurelhurst Market

3/4 A dating anniversary just doesn’t have the same gravitas as a wedding anniversary, but after a decade of monogamous non-marriage I would take steak over the traditional ten-year-gift of tin, anyway. I almost always happen to be out of town on Labor Day, which I count as my first date (James thinks it was sometime in October), so I get to try a variety of non-NYC celebratory restaurants.

Laurelhurst Market is a butcher shop by day, restaurant showcasing these cuts and more by night. I swear this now-chic heavily windowed restaurant across the street from Music Millennium used to be a Plaid Pantry. It might’ve still been a Plaid Pantry this time last year. Who knows? Such is the nature of the new Portland, which isn’t all that different from the old Portland except now the food is better.

Laurelhurst market cocktail

During a leisurely dinner, I like to start with a cocktail then move onto wine with the food but it never really works that way. We only spent a few minutes at the bar where I ordered a bourbon-based, bitters and champagne-topped Seelbach, before our table was ready. No, I’m not complaining, especially since every single other Portland dining experience involved epic waits.

Laurelhurst market suppli al telefono

Suppli al telefono were super Mozarella-y fritters that also contained risotto and short ribs. Normally, not a fan of arancini, a Carroll Gardens staple, these appealed because they didn’t rely so heavily on rice.

Laurelhurst market marrow bones

Marrow bones enhanced by olive oil and herbs, in this case pistou, are wonderful with toast. These particular bones seemed lacking in enough gelatinous goodness. I like more goopy chunks and really put the little fork to work scraping out every last fatty bit.

Laurelhurst market flat iron steak

My flat iron steak accompanied by chimichurri was tender and medium-rare as requested. I would’ve given it higher marks until I tasted James’s medium culotte. It wasn’t the cuts of meat that were so different in flavor but the char. Mine needed a little more contrast between pink center and surface. The three leftover pieces were a great room temperature pre-breakfast the following morning.

Laurelhusrt market culotte steak

Niman Ranch culotte with charred tomato salsa.

Laurelhurst market pocha beans, summer squash

I’d never heard of pocha beans before this trip and ended up eating them both here and at Clyde Common. The white legumes were tossed with squash and seasoned with thyme. My one attempt at a healthy dish.

Laurelhurst market dulce de leche cheesecake

Sometimes I’m indifferent to dessert after so much rich food but in this case more richness was in order. I love all things caramel-ly and this dulce de leche cheesecake was perfection. I ate more berries in my one week in Oregon than I had all summer combined.

Laurelhurst Market * 3155 Burnside St., Portland, OR

Aldea

Portuguese isn’t a cuisine I’ve eaten countless times but I know enough to realize that wasabi and coconut milk aren’t standard Iberian ingredients. Modern is definitely the keyword at Aldea, from the sleek, blond wood and white leather bi-level space to the flavor combinations that appear on the plate.

Aldea may not be an impenetrable scene but it there was a full house at 9pm on a Friday, for sure. Even with reservations we had a bit of a wait, which I don’t mind when the staff is gracious and affable. I think they’ve hit the right note of professionalism and casualness in both service and food. The cooking is high caliber—chef, George Mendes was visible in the open kitchen—but never feels uptight.

Aldea presunto

Presunto, cured Portuguese ham was offered alongside serrano and Benton’s country ham. It was the obvious choice since I’d never tried it before. The thin slices weren’t markedly different from Spanish jamon, maybe a touch lighter and less fatty.

Aldea sea urchin toast, cauliflower cream, sea lettuce, lime

Sea urchin toast, cauliflower cream, sea lettuce, lime. Sure, I had a few glasses of vino verdhe in me but you wouldn’t think my palate would be so out of whack that I tasted phantom wasabi in this. James didn’t detect it and I’m not seeing it listed on the current online menu. I swear that off-white smudge wasn’t pure cauliflower, which is kind of like the anti-wasabi in its blandness. My only complaint was that the snack was gone in seconds. I guess that’s why it’s called a petisco, a.k.a. little bite.

Aldea baby cuttlefish, caramelized lychee, mentaiko, squid ink

Baby cuttlefish, caramelized lychee, mentaiko, squid ink. This appetizer also rambled well beyond European borders; more liberties were taken with the smaller dishes. The coconut foam worked with the sweetness of the lychee and mild curls of seafood. I wish I had concentrated more on the cod roe.

Aldea arroz de pato, duck confit, chorizo, olive, duck cracklings

Arroz de pato, duck confit, chorizo, olive, duck cracklings. Every mention ever of Aldea notes the duck rice so I played along. If the only meat included was the rosy, sliced duck breast, I might be disappointed. Sous-vide cooking certainly makes the dark poultry tender—and it wasn’t close to mushy—but there’s no point to duck unless it’s accompanied by some of that glistening, fatty skin, all the better if it has been crisped up. The duck cracklings made this dish and the browned coins of chorizo added pleasantly to the oily richness. The little blobs of apricot sauce weren’t out place; they provided a sweet-tart lift to this otherwise hefty bowl of rice. Fruity touches appeared to be a theme.

Aldea sea-salted chatham cod, market cranberry and fava beans, lemon-basil

Sea-salted Chatham cod, market cranberry and fava beans, lemon-basil. Ok, you knew cod had to be on the menu. Not bacalao, though.

Aldea sonhos, spiced chocolate, smoked paprika apricot, hazelenut praline

Sonhos, spiced chocolate, smoked paprika apricot, hazelnut praline. I feel like I’ve had this dessert before, obviously not with all three of these dips, I just can’t remember where. And I’m not confusing it with churros and chocolate. I love having choice, but when it came down to it the dark chocolate had the most impact.

Aldea sweets

Parting sweets.

Aldea kitchen

Aldea * 31 W. 17th St., New York, NY

Burgerville

I can’t decide if I should be cross-posting relevant missives for as long as I can keep up this two-blog charade. I don’t believe Carl’s Jr. is worth mentioning outside a chain-centric blog (especially since I wrote next to nothing about the food) but Burgerville is certainly worthy of Goodies First status.

I can’t pinpoint when Burgerville went from being a regular, albeit regional—they’re based in Vancouver, Washington—burger chain to the
revered sustainable/local/seasonal darling it is today. For many, like that bike-riding drive-thru woman who recently caused a flap, it’s the only fast food they’ll deign to eat.

I primarily remember it being where my dad and his fellow classic car enthusiasts would meet up and show off their tricked out autos in the parking lot. I guess because Burgerville has adopted a vague ‘50s décor and uses a jukebox on their sign?

But the food is really good and who can argue with using what’s fresh and when it’s gone it’s gone? I’m just bummed that we missed the Walla Walla onion rings by a few weeks. On my visit they were promoting poblano peppers, sweet potatoes and blackberries, as well as advertising upcoming apples and cranberries.

It was also worth noting that you can substitute a side salad for fries and bottled water is a combo option in addition to fountain beverages. As a soda-loather, this is appreciated. I’ve always been bothered by water costing more than soft drinks. I’ll take the fries, though.

Burgerville cheeseburger

I accidentally ordered a wimpy cheeseburger instead of one of the beefier varieties so I had to strain to try and detect all of those grass-fed, antibiotic and-hormone-free nuances shining through. Frankly, what made this burger so awesome was the combination of melted Tillamook cheddar and that sauce that I’d totally forgotten about. Plain mayonnaise scares the crap out of me but incorporated into condiments, the eggy richness transcends the fluffy white emulsion. They sell the spread in jars at the counter so I know I’m not alone in my love.

Burgerville blackberry shake

I prefer caramelly, chocolate, nutty flavors of ice cream over fruity varieties. I guess I’m just not crazy about fruit, though I do like berries, cherries and tropical stuff. The Northwest is teeming with berries like huckleberry, marionberry, boysenberry, olalaberry, not just regular black and rasp. This lavender shake ruled; sweet without straying into sickly territory.

After eating, we ordered two pepper bacon cheeseburgers for the road. I think the counter kid thought we were crazy.

The bread is from Franz, with whom I happen to have a personal beef with for a very legitimate reason.
Not too long before I moved to NYC, one of their delivery trucks crashed into my parked car and totaled it during an early a.m. rainstorm. (In a weird way, it kept me from going to court. Days before this incident I had been pulled over by cops and cited for driving without insurance. I was scheduled to go to court to prove I had gotten it but no more car solved that problem nicely.)

Franz delivery truck

These Franz trucks haunted my entire week in Oregon. There was a Franz bakery outlet just a block from the Burgerville in Albany where we stopped on our way to Eugene. We ended up spending over $10 on non-Franz junk like pepperoni sticks, mini pecan pies and Annabelle
candy bars, Abba Zabba and Big Hunk, both non-existent on the East Coast (what, no Idaho Spud?) so we were entitled to two items from the sale rack. No one needs loaves of white bread on vacation but I grabbed a pack of hamburger buns just to be safe.

Burgerville * 2310 Santiam Hwy SE, Albany, OR

Clyde Common & Teardrop Lounge

As Stumptown set up its first dedicated NYC outpost in our new Ace Hotel, I was back in my hometown enjoying these exports on their own turf. Clyde Common is the restaurant affiliated with Portland’s Ace Hotel, and really tried my ability to suppress the White Trash S. I know for a fact I sent a few emails to friends referring to the place as Clyde Commons and said Fred Myers on more than one occasion last week. (New Yorkers are hardly immune—I came back to see a story about mob ties to Lucali, which the Daily News called Lucali’s.)

The cuisine is American and creative, in the vein of most popular seasonal/local Brooklyn restaurants of the moment, not screamingly Northwest. A college friend, Dassi, I visited in Eugene had recently stayed at the Ace Hotel and described the menu as “weird” and complained about $5 pimenton popcorn, the only thing she ate. I appreciate this skepticism, which isn’t synonymous with yokelism. My two local dining companions on this evening thought tomato caramel sounded strange but were willing to try it, nonetheless. And let’s just say that the decision to keep vegetables out of desserts was unanimous.

One surprise I found in my 11-year-absence was the pervasiveness of lines. I waited inordinate amounts of time everywhere I chose to eat. Don’t think there isn’t a 20-minute-line for Stumptown coffee even in Portland where it flows as freely as the Willamette. No one takes reservations for parties under six, which happens here too, but has never made sense to me. Why should larger groups be seated ahead of patient duos? At Clyde Common, my foursome waited about 45 minutes on a Saturday at 8pm, prime time, of course, so I wasn’t that surprised though I suspect that we were forgotten because after James checked on the list that my friend Adam has added us to, the hostess seemed like she had no recollection of promising us a table in the first place.

I didn’t mind the wait since it allowed me to sample the Norwegian Wood (Krogstad aquavit, applejack, Cinzano Rosso, Chartreuse, bitters) and catch up with chums I rarely see. Sometimes I do miss Portland, if only to hear Arlene Schnitzer references worked into funny yarns. We then moved onto a crisp Naia Verdejo Rueda, a total hit at the table. I’ll admit up front conversation and drinking took precedence. The food was top notch but ingredient minutiae eludes me.

Rillettes

Pork still rules in Portland (actually if I were writing a regional trend piece it would be about chicken livers—they were everywhere) as evidenced by rillettes on toast and pork belly with fried green tomato, piccalilli and pocha beans (these also showed up two nights later at Laurelhurst Market). I always expect rillettes to be more flavorful and am surprised by their creamy blandness. 

Porkbelly The soft,  fatty pork belly was grounded by the crunchy, vinegary hodgepodge that sat atop it. 

Trout

Ok, I don’t see trout much on menus here so that stood out, plus combined with lamb’s tongue and a yolky egg? No ignoring. The fish had a lot of smoky char and just enough oil to keep the flesh flaky moist. There could be no complaining that the main ingredient was masked by superfluous elements since the trout dominated by far. I don’t even remember the tongue and I couldn’t even tell you what else was hiding beneath the sea creature.

Others ordered tagliarini, cherry tomatoes, basil and orange breadcrumbs, arugula, castelvetrano olive, pecorino, butter fried croutons and oregano dressing, grilled flatiron steak, lettuce wedge, smoked tomato relish and cabrales cheese, and something lamby with grilled chiles.

See more photos here.

After Adam’s choice of carrot gnudi being unavailable, being forgotten on the list and later being given the wrong dessert, James remarked, “I thought Krista was the only person this stuff always happens to.” I’ve just always considered myself food and service unlucky, but it turns out that Adam is also constantly ignored/forgotten everywhere he goes. It’s bizarre, he’s completely concise and polite (just like me) and distinctive looking (he’s a redheaded down-to-earth dandy with a silver tooth) so it’s not as if you’re blending into the crowd or being abrasive. We were both born the same week, the same year, July Leos, both at the same longitude 122 degrees (though he in Washington, I in California with 9 minutes, 57 seconds difference) so I’m convinced we’ve been cursed similarly by birth.

I recently went to pick up a prescription at CVS, was asked my name, told to wait and literally 2 minutes later was asked my name and what I wanted by the exact same counter woman when she saw me standing near the register patiently waiting as told. Adam was recently in Europe and ordered dinner at a restaurant only to have someone come over 30 minutes later and re-take his order like he’d just walked in. His theory is that he’s speaking into another dimension and not being heard. I’m not so mystical but am starting to wonder. I call it the storm cloud theory, as I picture one hovering above my head at all times. Later in the week I was introduced to “manifesting” in Eugene, essentially the power of positive thinking. I say fuck that hippy shit.

Tomato caramel

None of us were gung ho on dessert until we noticed tomato caramel as an element in profiteroles filled with sour cream ice cream. It could either be repugnant or compelling. Why not at least share it four ways? Except that we were presented with a fig tart instead. Really, we just wanted to see what the hell tomato caramel was, I figured it was caramelized tomatoes cooked down into a jam, but our server was nice enough to bring us a little ceramic dish bearing the mystery sweet. And no, it was actually caramel that tasted of tomatoes.

Profiteroles And then they brought the full dessert too (comped, I might add). Sometimes whispering into other dimensions pays off. Throat-clenchingly sweet and vegetal, I didn’t hate the pale brown sauce as much as the others. It kind of worked with the savory sour cream ice cream but I would hardly call it versatile or crowd-pleasing.

Niche

We admired this niche still life that looked like it could be the subject of an old-fashioned  jigsaw puzzle.

Afterwards, three of us moved onto Teardrop Lounge (one member of our party was rightly scared off by the crowd and ran home), a mixology paradise that exemplifies all that is wrong with the new Portland. The bartenders have the Windsor-knotted ties and vests look down, the right mix of old and new with the bar playfully stacked with tinctures in eyedroppers and glass vessels of flavored liqueurs (though Adam thought the one with floating peach halves and thyme sitting in front of us looked revolting). Serious cocktails. Serious bartenders, maybe a little too serious.

Sophia loren Oh, but the scene, the décor, the people. Neon, glowing lights, rounded edges, kind of Vegas and early ‘00s. Hip-hop videos were playing on a large screen. Bacherlorette parties with girls literally falling down and grabbing me for balance, black-framed glasses, silver-haired 50-something German architect types who probably have Dale Chihuly (omg, two random NW references in one post) art in their homes, young non-hip Asian (I don't know, I tend to think of Asians as being hip, these were just regular kids) 20-somethings and generally what we’d call bridge and tunnel though Portland only has bridges and most interesting people live on the other side of the Willamette not in the lofted and condo-ized Pearl District. James who never gets hit on was being prowled by a cougar (I know, if you’re nearly 40, you’re hardly cougar-bait) who kept telling him how much she liked his glasses. The only thing missing were opportunistic panhandlers waiting to see if you were going to finish your drink so they could sip the remaining dregs. One cocktail was more than enough. I had hopes of trying the new game in town, Beaker and Flask; sadly, it was closed both Sunday and Labor Day.

The Sophia Loren (Boulard Calvados, Cherry Heering, Del Maguey Chichicapa mescal, bitters)

See more photos here.

Clyde Common * 1014 SW Stark St., Portland, OR
Teardrop Lounge * 1015 NW Everett St., Portland, OR

Le Relais de Venise

Le Relais de Venise is responsible for cutting my lunk-headed
attempt at banning sugar, starch and alcohol from my diet for the month
of August three weeks short. I am weak in the face of golden skinny
fries and inexpensive red wine. $20 bottles of drinkable Bordeaux? I
caved.

Relais de venise exterior

Locations already exist in London, Barcelona and Paris, where the restaurant originated. I can’t put my finger on why…well, maybe the maid outfits the all-female servers wear combined with a blind Francophila (I’ll never forget the story about Japanese tourists in France being so traumatized by rude treatment they had to go into therapy)
but I can see Japanese loving this place. And from what I understand
the no reservations policy creates line-ups in other cities. No such
thing on an early Friday evening in Midtown. This could be the result
of the office-heavy location, lack of awareness or possibly because New
Yorkers don’t like their steak soft and sauced.

Relais de venise salad

And
you will be ordering steak since that’s the only entrée on the menu.
The $24 prix fixe includes a salad with a mustardy tarragon dressing
and walnuts and steak frites in two portions. This quirk is intended to
keep the food warm; plates are kept at side stations atop little
flames. It could also induce panic to Americans accustomed to big fat
slabs of meat rather than a fan of rosy protein that could fit into the
palm of your hand.

I do prefer minerally beef with fatty rims
and charred exterior, pale pink inside, but I can appreciate non-aged
sirloin as well. I’d take this over Outback Steakhouse, you know, just
for chain comparison. Oddly, medium-rare is not a choice. Degrees of
doneness start at bleu, go up to rare then jump to medium (let's not
talk about well). We took a chance on the medium, banking that it would
be on the rare side. It was.

Relais de venise steak frites

The
sauce is butter rich, herby and possibly flavored with liver. That
sounds a little odd but there was an unmistakable offal funk in the
background. I actually preferred the sauce with the fries, which were
perfect in their golden yet still pliable form.

Relais de venise interior

Service
is swift. Despite only a handful of the tables being occupied in the
spacious corner restaurant, courses came quickly. Our seconds were
brought before we had polished off our firsts. My barely eaten fries
were topped off and made equal to James’s pile that had a deeper dent.
Advice to fried potato gluttons: the more fries you initially eat, the
more will be replaced.

Relais de venise cheese plate

The
dessert list was surprisingly long. We opted for cheese since I was
still operating under the delusion that I was detoxing (though I’ve
gone soft on alcohol, bread and potatoes I do restrict my sugar) and
fat is preferable to me than sweets. Comte, brie and a blue of some
sort were a nice finish. For only a few bucks more you can get a glass
of port with your cheese but we still had wine to carry us through.

I
don’t have a good feeling about this location and the concept seemed to
confuse many who walked up to the window menu with only one meal
listed. But it’s definitely worth at least one try even if you’re not
in the immediate neighborhood.

Le Relais de Venise * 590 Lexington Ave., New York, NY

Cowgirl Sea-Horse

Cowgirl Hall of Fame will always be the '90s to me–squarely in the same camp as Moustache or Mugs Ale House–places I ate when I first moved to New York and didn't give much serious thought to food.  Cowgirl Hall of Fame is where birthdays tended to be celebrated or large groups would convene. Just last month a vegetarian friend (I point this out because people who can only eat a small proportion of the menu don't always have the best sense of what's generally good) asked for restaurant advice to give to visitors from Germany. She had steered them to toward Cowgirl, among others. Eh, if they wanted "American" food, The Redhead might be a better choice. Clearly, Cowgirl still holds sway with many, though.

2009 or not, I, myself, was curious about Cowgirl Sea-Horse (I’m still not clear why seahorse is hyphenated—would you say cow-girl?). It's quintessential Friday night fare. By 6pm I've all but given up and fried food and beer walking distance from my office sounds like the best idea I've had in ages.

A week after opening, the restaurant, on a lonesome corner across from the Brooklyn Bridge's underbelly, was hopping. An enormous party of 25+ youngsters were attempting to take over the back room (where we were seated), little kids were running around and falling over each other, a few of James' coworkers even randomly stopped in. Service was upbeat but clearly overwhelmed. I wouldn't want to make any strong judgments about the slow as molasses pacing so soon. I expected as much on a weekend.

Cowgirl seahorse texas caviar

Texas caviar, a.ka. black eyed peas in a vinaigrette, were a gratis starter despite being listed on the menu for $3.50.

Cowgirl seahorse rattlesnake bites

Rattlesnake bites are grilled bacon-wrapped jalapenos stuffed with shrimp. These smokey vegetal poppers are a form of Russian roulette, every third one you get a seriously hot chile. As you can also see, some are more done than others.

Cowgirl seahorse clam fritters

I wouldn't have ordered the clam fritters, not only because we already had plenty of starters but because inevitably you end up with a mouthful of bready filler. There was a decent amount of firm meat in these, though. More jalapeno in the tartar sauce.

Cowgirl seahorse pork tacos

Trying to avoid any more oil-bathed items (James had the oyster po boy and onion rings) I went for the tacos. Weird, yes. Sometimes I like the American shredded lettuce and cheddar style, but hard shells would've been too much. I wasn't expecting wheat tortillas as the "soft" option, though. These were floppy fun handheld drinking snacks. The pulled pork was on the dry side, even if it wasn't sharply obvious with all the accouterments.

Afterward, I wandered over to the Water Taxi Beach to see how it compared to Long Island City’s version. Well, for one you don't have to pay $10 to enter in Queens. At umbrella’d tables on the other side of the barrier next to the shops, groups had set up their own party complete with R&B blasting from a boom box. Smart? And as you continued around the back of the shopping center, the crowd became whiter and whiter until it suddenly became very '90s for the second time in one hour. The big stage was encircled by a tightly-packed crowd, disproportionately gray-haired and crows-feeted, bobbing up and down to Superchunk. Yes, Brooklyn babysitters must've made a killing that night. Despite being of that demographic, I was never a fan, but that didn’t stop me from grabbing a $6 plastic cup of beer just to stand a while and ponder the state of 2009.

Cowgirl Sea-Horse * 259 Front St., New York, NY

Szechuan Gourmet

We're lucky to have a decent selection of Sichuan restaurants scattered throughout three boroughs. Now I’m hoping that Hunan will be the next break out regional Chinese cuisine. But with Grand Sichuan House and Bamboo Pavilion kind of nearby in Brooklyn, I rarely feel compelled to patronize any of the midtown joints. I finally got to Gourmet Szechuan, though, only because I was Koreatown realizing that I wanted spicy food of a different sort (plus the lines at Kunjip were intimidating).

It's been nearly a year since the New York Times decided to pay a serious visit, a marginally odd choice for the Bruni slot. And despite a copy of the review blown up at least seven times the original size adhered to the front window, the sit-down clientele was predominately Asian. Those waiting for takeout were not.

The most uncomfortable part of the meal was being privy to the ordering foibles of two middle-aged gentleman, mostly likely Mexican, who were seated directly next to me. They were getting thwarted in all kinds of ways, both through language and dashed expectations. The waitress really didn't want them to have lo mein and fried rice, they didn't want anything "picante" (hey, not all Latinos love spice) and they specifically wanted Pepsi, which they didn't have, juice was their second choice (also not available) so they settled for Coke. I witnessed a similar series of events go down at Grand Sichuan House once. Some people just want to eat American-Chinese food (which is on the menu at both) and have no desire to expand their culinary consciousness. That's ok. I imagine it could go both ways despite my never having witnessed Chinese people chancing upon a taqueria looking for hard shells and cheddar cheese.  It's generalizing but I think Chinese (not Chinese-American) might be more inclined to eat only their own food.

Dandan

We always order dan dan noodles, just because. In fact, we were intending to make a batch during the week but neither grocery store we tried (Stop & Shop and Wegmans) had ground pork, which is just strange.

Bamboo

Instead of my usual cold tongue or tripe, I opted for bamboo shoots. I had to get a vegetable in even if it involved a sea of chile oil. The peppercorn level in all of the dishes was what I'd call a medium, creating a pleasant buzz that still leaves your ability to taste intact. These crunchy strips were served with "fernbraken." If I didn't know better I would've guessed by the wetness and chew, that this mystery ingredient was a type of seaweed but if I'm correct it's part of a fiddlehead fern. I've mentioned before that fiddleheads creep me out; luckily, this dish was absolutely un-creepy.

Porkleeks

A creature of habit, I wanted the dish that's bacony and smothered with softened oily leeks. I thought this would be #65 Stir Fried Chef's Sun Dried Pork Belly with Leeks but our controlling waitress, the same woman who wouldn't let our neighbors order both noodles and rice, steered me toward # 46 Stir Fried Fresh Pork Belly with Chili Leeks, instead. This was the version I had in mind with fat-striped thin rectangles of pork, though I imagine the chewier smoked version would've also been good.

Cuminlamb

I'm not as enamored by the crispy cumin lamb as others seem to be. I've seen it discussed at length on message boards and I'm fairly certain it received praise in the Times review. All the greaseless renditions I've tried are likeable but the dish feels more bar snacky and after a few nuggets a dry monotony sets in. We dunked ours in the slick pool of spicy remnants that had collected at the bottom of the nearly empty dan dan noodle bowl. For Sichuan lamb flavored with cumin, there's nothing better than the foil-wrapped seared version covered with a fistful of cilantro at Little Pepper.

I would be more inclined to head to south South Brooklyn or Flushing if the Sichuan urge grabbed me in the evening but I am jealous of midtowners with two Szechuan Gourmet locations for lunch. The Financial District is a paradise for cheap carby Chinese food—all the fried rice and lo mein you can eat with no judging—but even a Yip's apologist like myself needs a break every now and then.

Szechuan Gourmet * 21 W. 39th St., New York, NY