Thanks for Nothing
Part of me wishes I were in town for Thanksgiving because I'd like to try a fancy restaurant dinner this year, Eleven Madison Park maybe, but no matter.
Photo by Jori Klein Jacobs
Nov 18
Part of me wishes I were in town for Thanksgiving because I'd like to try a fancy restaurant dinner this year, Eleven Madison Park maybe, but no matter.
Photo by Jori Klein Jacobs
While McDonald's is insidious and weasels into all nooks and crannies of the globe (minus Iceland) Burger King randomly asserts itself. I would've assumed Russia already had the chain. But no, Moscow will get its first BK by end of year.
In what sounds like fake news, the mayor of Moscow apparently started a doomed chain called Russian Bistro in 1995 to compete against McDonald's. Their slogan: "It does not hurt to try."
Bun Troubleshooting Tool photo from a photo tour of a Russian McDonald's factory at Funatiq.
In 2006 I worked a block from where OBAO, Michael Huynh’s latest venture, is scheduled to open on Monday. The immediate area has shaped into a multi-culti lunching paradise (Güllüoglu, Barros Luco, Mantao Chinese Sandwiches) or maybe it just seems better in comparison to the Financial District blandness I’ve grown accustomed to. And I shouldn't complain so hard, we're getting a Baoguette down here.
Based on the sampling at OBAO’s preview party, there is high promise. The grilled cubes of pork belly were a little sweet with nice char and good balance between the meaty and fatty bits. Lamb chops were coated in chopped lemongrass and tasted like they’d been marinated in coconut milk. Instead of shrimp paste, thin slices of beef were wrapped around sugarcane. Bacon too. Why had I never thought of that?
Shrimp rolls and chicken satay were perfectly fine renditions, but couldn’t compete with the oomph of the pork, lamb and beef. Or maybe I just have a preference for the fatty.
I think this was a pho. It definitely was pho-like, but the poached egg threw me off.
The unknown element will be the noodles, which weren’t showcased at this event. I’m crazy for laksa and can’t decide if the non-traditional green tea soba noodles as they are touting will be a welcome tweak or just weird. Will the char kway teow also be an Asian hybrid? I’m sure I’ll get the answers soon enough.
I imagine the signage will be complete and the garbage bin removed by opening day.
OBAO * 222 E. 53 St., New York NY

If you can decipher urban teenspeak, that is. Apparently, neither The New York Times nor the New York Post published the verbatim Facebook update that cleared 19-year-old Rodney Bradford of a robbery charge because it was "indecipherable."
"ON THE PHONE WITH THIS FAT CHICK… WHERER MY IHOP"
The kid wants his Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n Fruity, obviously.
Oh, and I just learned a little street lingo myself. Be very careful what you ask for at IHOP
This is why Brooklyn can never have anything nice. There's no way a high-class chain like Cheesecake Factory would set up downtown when people are shooting and stabbing over a 40-cent Buffalo Wild Wings promotion down the street.
Celebrating my birthday at the Atlantic Center Mall Chuck E. Cheese's opening week cured me of all desires to ever set foot in that shopping center again (ok, I had to get my driver's license renewed at the second-floor DMV). Tabletop diaper poopers, animatronic abusers combined with oblivious parents create the violent hot wing-loving teens of the future.
The most trouble I ever caused at a chain in high school was sharing a plate instead of paying for my own at Izzy's buffet.
Hunch is fascinating if not a little creepy (I think creating smarter, personalized search engines is how machines start rising up). When it first launched I got sucked into answering questions for over 30 minutes, partially anticipating an end result and partially because I find answering questions addictive.
They recently published a report, “How Food Preferences Vary by Political Ideology” which reinforces stark stereotypes. Apparently, food choices are cleanly divided between political parties. For instance, right-wingers prefer Velveeta, white bread, deep-dish pizza with lots of meat and liberals love Brie, multigrain, and vegetarian regular crust pizzas. Kind of like an ’80s funny-’cause-it’s-true black people dance like this/white people dance like this comedy routine.
Fortunately, we can all get along on a few culinary topics: both groups prefer romaine over other lettuces and practically everyone thinks bacon double cheeseburgers are delicious.
According to Brownstoner, yesterday it was revealed at a Brooklyn Real Estate Roundtable that two “nationally known” restaurant will be coming to downtown Brooklyn, 345 Adams Street, specifically.
Fast food? Casual dining? I don’t picture any upscale chains fitting in. The Morton’s in the nearby Marriott is about as much as the immediate area can handle. I predict a Red Lobster and Olive Garden. Nothing radical. I definitely don’t anticipate a Cheesecake Factory or P.F. Chang’s—those are way too massive and Vegas-y suburban.
Then again, I didn’t imagine an Arby’s on Fulton Street either.
Did I love it? Eh, it’s purely a platonic relationship.
Not that I make a habit of frequenting higher end seafood chains, but my recent experiences at McCormick & Schmick's and now at Legal Sea Foods (not so much Bonefish Grill—I’m sad that I didn’t have time to use my $10 ten-year [dating] anniversary gift card before it expired. If you don’t mind giving out personal information, you can get promotional gift cards on your birthday and anniversary for registering on their site. I get off on crap like this) have felt a little desolate and dreary. I’m not sure if it’s the economy or that I dine too late and the room has emptied out by the time I’m hungry (that’s what eating sliders for lunch at 4pm will do to you). At 9:30pm on this particular Saturday, there were only five or so other tables occupied while on my previous visit in 2004 there was a solid 45-minute-wait.
The shrimp dumplings–or rather wontons as they called them–were preferable to P.F. Chang’s version. The shrimp tasted like shrimp and the wakame salad was refreshing for a chain appetizer.
Bizarrely, I liked everything about this special except the fish. The mahi mahi was overcooked and a bit lifeless, but I liked the Spanish-meets-fall flavors of kale, raisins and sweet potatoes. I’m not sure where the cashew crust fits in to all of that. I probably would’ve used pecans because that seemed more logical.
I’ve never been to a restaurant, chain or otherwise, so aggressive in talking up its wine. I don’t need any prompting, as I’m one of those oddballs who always requires an alcoholic beverage with my chain dinners because I’m classy (one of the reasons why I don’t gravitate toward fast food unless it’s the daytime or super late night). But our server must’ve just attended a pep talk on promoting their Chilean wine, also boldly announced in an insert in the drink list. I think the Olive Garden servers are also supposed to highlight wine, but at least in the city they don’t even make an effort.
We appeased him by ordering a glass of Cono Sur Pinot Noir, then he went into a spiel about how you can now take unfinished bottles or wine home due to changes in the law. (I was just going to say that I’ve never seen anyone actually take advantage of this, but the other night two women at Bocca Lupo ordered a second bottle between them. I admired their moxie. They did take a majority of that bottle to go, though.) Eh, I started with a cocktail so one glass was fine.
Speaking of wine, the next time I’m at the Garden State Plaza I’m totally eating at the Napa Valley Grille. There’s something very twisted about attempting to emulate West Coast wine country inside a New Jersey mall. Even better though, would be eating at the Napa Valley Grille in Yountville. French Laundry? Never heard of it.
Legal Sea Foods * 1 Garden State Plaza, Paramus, NJ

Slate asks why Arby's is struggling more than other fast food chains. Moneybox columnist Daniel Gross thinks it's the low quality meat, lack of healthy options and "killer non-meat app." Hey, what do you call that Jamocha shake?
Meanwhile, Brooklynites who don't care about taste and fast food salads will soon be treated to the borough's first Arby's in the historically landmarked Gage & Tollner space.
On the other end of the spectrum, Ruby Tuesday has spent around $100 million in efforts to create more upmarket food, service and decor, pretty gutsy in this economy. Will servers "clad in hipster black shirts and black pants," lobster tails and wine suggestions work for a chain best known for its burgers?
Tidbits I didn't previously know: Ruby Tuesday owns an inn called RT Lodge that used to only be for managers but is now open to the public (road trip?). Also, Peter Glander, Ruby Tuesday's executive chef (pictured above with the chain's founder) used to be a sous-chef at The Modern.
3/4 I’ve only been to Mercat on Bond Street once when they were having one of their visiting Catalonian chefs cooking a special menu. I liked the few things I ate well enough. How would the restaurant translate to Williamsburg?
It hasn’t exactly. The menu is much smaller, no cured meats or cheeses at all, though the room is airy, high ceilings, lots of wood and white brick. The service was typically Williamsburg—amiable, though harried and forgetful no matter how empty or busy—which I always mentally prep myself for and am rarely proven wrong.
Sure, it’s new and quickly became bustling. When I first entered there was only one other couple in the then cavernous, nearly Medieval looking room, The Boy With the Arab Strap played in entirety. Soon enough, though, the bar stools filled, the din rose and two large parties had descended, one in the private second floor space and another group of fifteen inches from us at a long row of cobbled together two-tops.
The food is hit and miss. Stick with the fried snackier items and you’ll be fine. The croquetas, here spinach, pinenut and raisin in oblongs and shrimp in balls, were the highlight. Nearly greaseless, their crusts were perfectly golden with a arm oozy interior. I even liked the croquetas at chain restaurants in Spain, though, so maybe I’m easily impressed.
The bomba wasn’t what I expected at all. Described as a chicken and pork meatball, I still wasn’t picturing one large ground meat orb coated in mashed potato and fried. Minus the aioli, there was something almost British about this. All it needed was a scattering of green peas. That’s a sobrassada and cheese empanada hiding in the background. I will say that the prices are fair. Empanadas, though tiny, were only $1 a pop, croquetas $2 each, same with the bomba.
The patatas bravas were done in a thick handcut potato chip style rather than in more traditional cubes. I did see huevos rotos served like this in Madrid earlier this year so it’s not a completely un-Spanish thing to do. I like tasting more of the potato’s softness, but these were still enjoyable.
Cocas are thin, cracker-like flatbrads treated like pizzas. This one was minuscule—it’s not even visible in the photo—and overwhelmed by the topping of vinegary sardines and escalivada, a.k.a. red peppers and onions grilled to sweet softness and dressed with olive oil.
There are two rice dishes: one seafood, one meat, available in two sizes. This is the smaller one, which contained rabbit and pork. The grains weren’t fully cooked, some mostly scattered on the surface were completely white and still opaque, and the meat was a little greasy yet not in a way that moistened the rice. This was the dud of the batch.
Taste is subjective, though. James ordered a Ward Eight, which I’ve never had before so it’s hard to compare. After a sip I did comment that it wasn’t very sweet, meant in a positive way. I’m not crazy about sugary beverages, alcoholic or not. The woman sitting next to us later ordered this same drink and a few minutes afterward asked the server for more simple syrup, which they brought to the table no problem. It’s never even occurred to me that you could or would doctor a cocktail. Then again, other than fries, I never salt or pepper my food at restaurants either. And I didn’t say anything about the crunchy rice.
Now that I look deeper, though, a Ward Eight doesn’t typically contain sugar, just a touch of grenadine, and Mercat Negre’s version goes primal with straight pomegranate juice. My conclusion: the cocktail isn’t meant to be particularly sweet. The customer’s always right?
While assessing our meal–James thought this was a one-shovel restaurant while I thought it was more two-shovel with kinks to work out–he commented, “I liked that tapas place by the BQE better.”
What tapas place by the BQE? Zipe Zape? That was just a few blocks from this place and it’s gone. “Do you mean Allioli?! Grandpa, you do realize how long ago that was?”
I had a vague idea just how long ago that truly was because I remembered debating whether or not I should watch the Daniel Pearl decapitation video a few days before this dinner (nay won over yay) then got squeamish about eating a baby octopus’ head at Allioli when normally I’m not troubled by such things.
And that is one beauty of blogging about food before food blogging was such a thing, I have a record of practically everywhere I’ve dined since the dawn of the millennium (as well as non-dining at Zipe Zape in its previous incarnation, Kokie’s). I can also concede that caving and buying a smartphone does have benefits, primarily being able to look up crap from the past on the spot. What was at 291 Grand Street now, anyway?
We strolled down Grand on our way to the G train, and it turns out that the space is now that Caracas Arepa Bar offshoot. Yet another indie chain.
Mercat Negre * 65 Grand St., Brooklyn, NY
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