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Posts from the ‘Corporate Culture’ Category

The Great Pyramid

AA2080 Everyone’s obese and we need to eat less or we will all die. I didn’t actually scrutinize the new USDA dietary guidelines, but I’m pretty sure that’s the gist. Also, did you know that in China they have a food pagoda instead of a pyramid?

As the American public ignores the recommendations as they do every five years, the PR-savvy see this as the perfect opportunity to tout brands and organizations that fit into this new rubric–no matter how tenuous the connection.

Here is a random sampling of who’s promoting themselves as USDA dietary guideline-friendly since the news was announced Monday:

The Peanut Institute: "A healthy eating pattern … emphasizes nutrient-dense foods – vegetables, fruits, whole grains, fat-free or low-fat milk products, seafood, lean meats and poultry, eggs, beans and peas, and nuts and seeds."

The United States Potato Board: "Get more potassium in your diet.  Food sources of potassium include potatoes, cantaloupe, bananas, beans and yogurt."

 
Slade Gorton & Co.: "The new federal guidelines will increase demand for seafood as the report points out in no uncertain terms the nutritional and health benefits of consuming more fish as part of a regular diet."

National Dairy Council: "Overall, the new Guidelines emphasizes a total diet approach, urging Americans to reduce calories and watch portion sizes; make more nutrient-rich choices, such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains and low-fat or fat-free milk and milk products; and move more."

ConAgra Foods: "We consider our broad portfolio of health and wellness brands, such as Healthy Choice, Hunt’s® and Orville Redenbacher’s® SmartPop! ®, to be a competitive advantage for ConAgra Foods and will continue focusing on delivering the great-tasting, nutritious foods consumers want."

Cargill: "Helping customers leverage regulatory requirements and shifting consumer preferences, Cargill has introduced a range of ingredients to help reduce calories, saturated fat and sodium." These include: Truvia™, CitriTex® GSG 71, SaltWise®, Premier™ potassium chloride and Premier™ light salt, Alberger®, Clear Valley® omega-3 oil and Clear Valley™ omega-3 shortening, Honeysuckle White®, CoroWise™, Oliggo-Fiber®, Barliv™, ActiStar®, GrainWise®, WheatSelect® , MaizeWise®, Sterling Silver®, Sunny Fresh®

Soyfoods Association of North America: "The recommendations include increasing the intake of soy products and fortified soy beverages.  Vegetarian and vegan meal patterns, that include soyfoods, also make their Dietary Guidelines debut as adaptations to the USDA Food Patterns."

The Quaker Oats Company: "The Dietary Guidelines state, 'consume at least half of all grains as whole grains.'"

Welch's: "Americans are in luck thanks to Welch's 100% Grape Juice, which is made with over 20 Concord grapes per 4-ounce glass and provides one serving (or 1/2 cup) of fruit and beneficial nutrients, helping consumers to meet daily fruit recommendations and nutrition goals while also meeting their desires for delicious taste and refreshment."

The National Pork Board: "Pork, in particular, is a lean, low-calorie, nutrient-rich protein which can help with weight control. In fact, recent studies show eating lean meats such as pork can lead to weight loss by reducing hunger sensations, helping people feel full and preserving lean muscle mass."

National Fisheries Institute: "The Dietary Guidelines specifically clear up persistent consumer confusion by saying pregnant and breastfeeding women should eat at least 8 and up to 12 ounces (two to three servings) of seafood each week to boost babies' brain and eye development."

National Cattlemen’s Beef Association: "The good news is the nutrient-rich beef already enjoyed by more than 95 percent of Americans will help them meet these new Guidelines. A 3 oz serving of lean beef provides 10 nutrients your body needs such as protein, iron, zinc and B-vitamins for an average of 154 calories."

Boar's Head: "At Boar's Head, we recognize the important role sodium plays in one's diet and we support the USDA's recommendation for reduced sodium intake…That's why we offer an extensive portfolio of great tasting lower sodium deli meats and cheeses."

Campbell Soup Company: "Studies show drinking V8® 100% vegetable juice may be a simple way for people to increase their vegetable intake and may help them manage their weight — two areas of concern outlined in the newly released 2010 U.S. Dietary Guidelines for Americans."

General Mills: "2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans Recommends Increasing Daily Vegetable Intake; Green Giant Is a Good Pick Offering Variety and Convenience"

Weight Watchers International, Inc.: "In line with the philosophy that drove the new Dietary Guidelines, Weight Watchers developed its new PointsPlus program with the newest nutrition science in mind, including and consistent with the science supporting the new Dietary Guidelines for Americans."

Redneck food pyramid apron from LA Imprints

 

Americans’ Appetite for Poppers Will Never Be Sated

Bell pepper/jalapeño hybrids bred to be big and not too spicy? Just wait until Chili’s gets their hands on these.

Caribbean Tater Tots, Kiosks Are Sizzling & Sexting Servers

Next_Generation_Meal_Planning_Solution

When companies started using automated press button 1, press button 2 phone systems (was that 15 years ago? Twenty? The present becomes the past so quickly that one day I’ll just be 75 and think that Starbucks’ Trenta is still newish. At least I don’t put two spaces after periods even though that’s how I learned to type) I was happy to bypass conversation with annoying humans.

Now, eliminating personal interactions could change the way we eat. Well, if you’re influenced by packaged goods companies and like third-tier chains, that is.

I would love to test out Kraft’s “Meal Planning Solution” kiosk. The machine, which is meant to increase the average shopper’s ten-recipe meal repertoire, will be placed in grocery stores and will offer personalized recipes—incorporating Kraft products, of course—using face recognition technology. I don’t know how it could possibly peg me as anything other than a mom since marketers assume all females 25-45 have children in the home. I can live with that miscategorization, but I’m having a hard time understanding how their Tater-Topped Casserole (which calls for “frozen bite-size seasoned potato nuggets.” Kraft really needs to acquire their own tot brand) exists as the featured recipe in their Caribbean section. Also, their “tropical feasts” all seem to be casseroles blanketed with baked cheese.

Sizzler has been experimenting with ordering kiosks to speed up service and increase check size. So far, in the California test locations, it has been working. And don’t think that ordering Malibu Chicken by touchscreen is just for young, white-collar kids. Michael Branigan, VP of marketing at Sizzler, told Nation’s Restaurant News, “Though it might seem as if 18-to-24-year-old urban professionals would be the greatest users of the kiosks, it really is a broad spectrum of people coming in and using them.”

I figured mobile technology would kill the kiosk and TextMyFood is going the cell phone route. The service, which allows diners to boss around restaurant staff via SMS, is being tested at Charlies Kitchen in Cambridge, Massachusetts. The idea, once again, is to speed up ordering and get people to spend more money. In practice, it is turning into low-risk method for proposing foursomes to servers like Joshua DeCosta who was the recipient of ‘Two of us need something and three of us need your number.” Pls bring Jager asap.

Photo: Intel

Inexcusably Unpalatable

Even though I don’t know many who are as crazed about Asian food and chain restaurants as I am. And despite my traveling 70 miles to Cherry Hill, NJ to make a frakking video (which I just deleted from YouTube, so don’t even bother) about Pei Wei for their Blog Asia contest, I didn’t genuinely think I would make it to the final five (oh my, another BSG reference). Perkiness and enthusiasm will always triumph and I have neither.

I so wanted 2011 to be about understanding rather than judging. For a while I’ve been pondering what makes a person American-Idol-contestant confident in their average abilities? Were they loved too much as a baby? Was the part of their hypothalamus that regulates self-awareness damaged? Maybe they’re just really positive and try hard. There’s something to be said for that. I’m also grappling with stereotypes/archetypes, some represented by these contest finalists. It’s too easy to make fun of stay-at-home mommies, do-gooder Christians, tiny Asian girls who eat like pigs,  mavericks and Yelpers, so I won’t.

But I am still going to have to put Pei Wei and their parent company P.F. Chang’s on my shit list. It’s not that I  have a problem with crimes against Chinese food. In fact, I openly embrace them—crab rangoon, sweet and sour pork, even egg foo young—I will eat you all.

But crimes against the English language?! No, never. I cannot patronize a company that lets contest-winners use the phrase, “sophisticated foodie palette.” Fuck understanding; 2011 is going to have to be about tough love. From now on I will be on palette patrol (what that entails, I’m not sure yet).  If you’ve made it to adulthood without mastering middle-school grammar, then someone needs to help you. Ignorance is not bliss for the public subjected to palate abuse.

Soft_palate

This is a palate. Technically, it’s the roof of your mouth not your tongue, but we associate the word with taste. Someone with a discriminating one would hopefully know how to spell it.

Palette

This is a palette. It can mean a few things, but commonly designates a wooden board where an artist places and mixes paint. It can also be used to describe a range of colors–or even flavors. A chef may employ a palette of spices but you’ll taste them with your so-called palate.

Pallet

This is a pallet and has little reason to show up in anything written about food unless you’re talking about Sysco or Costco.

I don’t mind running the risk of becoming a crotchety fuddy-duddy clinging to outmoded concepts (such as eighth-grade reading levels) like an old-guard food writer who won’t leave Manhattan (or one of those Twitter scolds). You can keep your copious exclamation points, yummies, to die fors, nom noms, melts in your mouths and best-I’ve-ever-eaten hyperbole, but you must get your homophones in check. It’s no longer optional. And when $10,000 and a trip to Asia are at stake–or should I say steak–it’s no longer harmless.

Photos from bohone and Getty Images

 

Chinese Burgers For the Masses

Sp I was a little surprised when Xi’an Famous Foods made the reverse migration from Flushing to Manhattan’s Chinatown around this same time last year. Maybe that’s the natural progression after appearing on No Reservations and Bizarre Foods.

Now, according to The Wall Street Journal, the father and son team behind the popular Northern Chinese food shop are setting up a 5,000-square-foot “commissary” in East Williamsburg and have visions of franchising the business, branding harder and creating a line of frozen food. Very chain-like, indeed.

Fittingly, P.F. Chang’s is already on the bringing-it-to-masses beat. CEO and president Rick Federico has sampled Xi’an’s cumin lamb and stewed pork burgers and is “thinking about how we might apply a sandwich into our business." The closest thing the Chinese chain has so far is (no, not a banh mi) a Sichuan Chicken Flatbread containing the most American of ingredients: melted cheese.

I’m anxious to see how P.F. Chang’s might interpret the cuisine—but they had better hurry or Xi’an will make it to the suburbs first.

KFC China's Spanish burger ad from Ads of China

What You’ll Be Eating in 2011

McCormick-Spices It’s easy to make fun of corporate food pronouncements and trends. 64% of Americans eat a gingerbread man’s head first, fried vegetables and hummus will be hot for 2011, local everything and ethnic-inspired breakfasts…or will it be food trucks and celebrity farmers?

But I have to admit that McCormick’s annual Flavor Forecast always manages to come up with unusual combinations and suggested recipes far more sophisticated than I would expect from the popular spice brand. (Frankly, I’m a La Flor girl because they’re local, always the cheapest and use glass bottles, but they only appear to have two recipes on their entire site: sweet and spicy cilantro chicken/pollo agridulce con cilantro and pork chops in wine sauc, missing the very important E.)

Caramelized honey and adzuki beans? Green peppercorn and goat’s milk? Perhaps I have been reading too much Taste of Home, sheltered in my New York-centric bubble. I thought Americans didn’t cook anymore. Now I’m faced with McCormick recipes for
Salmon and Scallop Ceviche with Herbes de Provence Popcorn and
Peri-Peri Fennel Bloody Mary with Vodka-Infused Tomatoes? I had no idea.

Le Footlong

$5 metric foot long

The $5 Footlong has become synonymous with Subway in the US despite that dreary, minor-key jingle. But the sandwich chain has a presence in 92 countries, most using the metric system and not using dollars.

In Quebec, they just size the sub literally, calling it 12 pouces (inches). They also make a catchier song—you won’t be able to watch this video without getting “douze pouces” stuck in your craw.

Canadian sidewalk chicken bone

The one universal truth I discovered in Canada was sidewalk chicken bones. I used to think that carelessly discarded poultry parts were a Brooklyn scourge, but I’ve since wised up. 

Chain Links: Knoflookmaynaise & Bar Harbor

Barharbor

Nearly 700 Red Lobsters will be remodeled to look like Bar Harbor, Maine by 2014. If you’ve never been to Bar Harbor, Maine, this is what it looks like (sort of–Bar Harbor is 97% white). You can search for the nearest Bar Harborized location to you. Bridgeport, CT is as close as it gets here. Brooklyn's waiting. [press release]

“Gaucho will be launching an Amsterdam-inspired contemporary steakhouse in the UK” is an attention-grabbing caption. So, a Dutch interpretation of an Argentine steakhouse brought to England. The menu looks fairly sane, though you’re not likely to find Grote Gamba’s Met Knoflookmaynaise in Buenos Aires. I think that’s just their way of saying prawns with aioli. [Big Hospitality]

Disneyworld’s Pollo Campero just opened and the official Disney Parks Food Writer has the scoop. For no discernable reason, they also sell vegan cupcakes from BabyCakes NYC. [Disney Parks Blog]

Miami-based Pollo Tropical, which might seem like an international chain, is expanding north and south into Latin America and Canada. Apparently, Canadians are the leading foreign visitors to Miami. Perhaps they are bringing back a taste for yellow rice and yuca. I will not be satisfied until they're eating poutine in the Florida Keys. [NRN]

Talking Turkey: Google vs Bing

Thanksgiving

Despite 44% of home cooks not cooking a Thanksgiving meal from scratch, Thanksgiving is still the most popular time of year for recipe searches, according to Google. Then again, during the holidays searches for “easy recipes” triple with pie being the top requested item. I won’t scoff; pies are definitely more time consuming than a standard weeknight recipe. I really don’t like making crust (and have given up on forming empanadas without frozen shells).

Everyone loves pie. Not surprisingly, pumpkin tops the list of Bing’s most searched pie recipes, followed by pecan, apple, chocolate and importantly, pie crust. Tipis Oddly, the top cookie recipe searched for is rice krispie. I’m not even convinced that’s a cookie, let alone a holiday cookie. Well, that was before I saw Kellogg’s Great Plains Tipi Treats and Turkey Tracks.

Even odder, Google has fondue lurking their top baking searches. I don’t associate things melted in pots with baking. Cookies, of course, are number one. I wonder if rice krispie treats also fall under this category since they’re not baked either. Maybe I’m just being too literal about what baking means these days.

Great Plains Tipi Treats photo from Kellogg’s

Never Ending Pasta Bowl 2010: A Tale of Two Americas

I like to believe I’m not heavily influenced by advertising. It’s certainly not as if I got the idea to try Olive Garden’s Never Ending Pasta Bowl, an occasional promotion that seems to happen annually around September, based on any commercials (I did flip past one on a Spanish language channel last night–oh, and I see Grub Street has ads in their RSS feed, but not on their site). And I watch a lot of TV. A chain-loving friend happened to mention it was occurring this very second and I couldn’t let the opportunity pass me by. How else do you think I spend my Friday nights?

After my second NYC experience with the NEPB, it’s become very clear that they want to keep the $8.95 all-you-can-eat deal under wraps. If you’re sad like me, you don’t have a lot of free time but still spend stolen moments putting in different zip codes on chain restaurant sites to gauge small town/big city price discrepancies. Not only is it fun, it makes it obvious why the NEPB is top secret in the city.

A basic bowl of spaghetti with meat sauce will cost $14.50 in Chelsea, $15.50 in Times Square…and $10.75 in pretty much all of New Jersey. I think this is what they mean by Two Americas.

Olive garden never ending pasta bowl instructions If you go to one of these Manhattan locations you will not see any signage, menu inserts and no one will dare speak of it. That is fine, ask anyway. You’ll be handed the server’s pocket cheat sheet (sorry for the blurred snapshot) which lists the seven types of pastas and six sauce options—Chianti Three Meat and Creamy Parmesan Portobello are new!

You’ll also see how they are scripted to upsell you on unlimited meatballs, Italian sausage or roasted chicken for $2.95 and how to ring up situations like someone who decides to go for limitless meat on the second bowl. Insidery.

Olive garden whole wheat linguine

Bowl number one: whole wheat linguine with creamy parmesan portobello sauce because we know the presence of wheat will counteract all the fat and cheese. These noodles tasted suspiciously soft like traditional linguine–whenever I make whole wheat pasta at home, which is rarely, I regret it.  Same for brown rice, which I'm eating tonight by choice.

Olive garden penne

Bowl number two: penne with five cheese marinara. Who knows which five cheeses. Your eyes are not deceiving you; the subsequent bowls are much smaller like something you’d serve a scoop of ice cream in. This is not a complaint. One bowl was plenty—even non-chain pasta tends to bore me—but I had to order at least one more in the spirit of NEPB.

This is no time for hesitation; you have until October 10 to gorge yourself silly on noodles (and breadsticks and salad) for less than nine bucks. If anything, it beats newcomers, Nooï and Hello Pasta.

Previously on Olive Garden’s Never Ending Pasta Bowl.