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The Pumpkin Bread Curse

Shawarma

Just as World War II GIs returned home with a taste for pizza and Vietnam vets must somehow be responsible for the post-millennium banh mi boom (I have to hold someone accountable even if it's a huge stretch), an entrepreneurial Lebanese-American woman, Denise Hazime, has set up a shawarma stand at a Camp Pendleton, California in hopes that Marines have developed a love of Arabic food.

So far, she has been right.  The Wall St. Journal reports, "Marines returning from Iraq and the Persian Gulf were pining for pita, according to focus-group surveys conducted on the base."

Dede Med, as Ms. Hazime refers to herself online, is also a recipe blogger with a singular focus on Mediterranean cooking. Her husband, Crisantos Hajibrahim, may be a bit controlling but he's vigilant and social media savvy!

"Each night, Mr. Hajibrahim logs onto his computer from the couple's small apartment and searches Arabic food recipes to see where his wife ranks. 'I watch for threats,' he says. Mr. Hajibrahim was briefly concerned about one online competitor, but stood down after the contender 'made a critical mistake. She deviated to pumpkin bread.' Mr. Hajibrahim says he won't let his wife post anything but Middle Eastern recipes. 'You must specialize,' he says.

Ah…pumpkin bread…amateur mistake.

Photo by Lance Cpl. Mike Atchue

Chains of Thailand & Malaysia

Thai sunburn Street food and chain restaurants are two of my favorite things. Even though I’m starting with the latter I got plenty of heat stroke-inducing outdoor fare too, evidenced this nasty sunburn (yes, I wore sunscreen). Remember when kids would rub Elmer’s glue on their hands just to let it dry and peel off? That’s what 65% of my body looks like right now, even my earlobes and backs of my hands (ok, I wrote this earlier in the week—now it’s just my forearms and legs).

Sure, Asia has the chains that have penetrated all corners of the planet: McDonald’s, Starbucks and oddly, Subway, but also regional anomalies yet to grace the states with their presence. A pair of my favorites being The Manhattan Fish Market and Big Apple Coffee & Donuts. This is a near-random, non-exhaustive photo gallery or the franchises I spied during my journeys through the air conditioned malls of Bangkok and Penang.

What’s missing are the slew of sushi, tepanyaki, shabu shabu and noodle chains that had a surprisingly large presence. I am not fanatical about Japanese food in the same way I am about other Asian cuisines, which is the main reason why I’ve never been to Tokyo even though I should know better. I do plan on eventually rectifying this.

By the way, I do not have the know-how to create a proper full page slideshow with nice accompanying text. Sucking my photos from Flickr was the only way I could manage an approximation, but formatting and links captioning the original photos have been lost in this display.

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Eco-Unfriendly Green

Balance in everything. I love genuine greens—collards, kale, cabbage—as much as artificial greens. It’s always been my favorite color. In fact, when I was young, pre-preschool young, putting green food coloring in my milk, served in a mini A&W root beer mug, was the only way my mom could get me to drink the dairy product.

In the US, green dye usually denotes mint (urgh) or lime (ok) and occasionally green apple or kiwi. I loved that in SE Asia green baked goods and drinks almost always denoted pandan (like the buns below) or green tea (as in the roll cake). Quickly shot on a hotel bed, these two aren’t showcasing their optimal greenness.

Mygreens

Allow me to salute St. Patrick with a few random photos of unnaturally green foodstuffs.

Green spam

Green eggs ‘n’ spam soba from IOjaw on Flickr

Cendol

Cendol from Rasa Malaysia (waah, one of the only things on my to-eat-in-Penang list that I didn’t get around to)

Stpattyscake

I Am Baker via Serious Eats

Green bread

Green pandan bread from JY’s Baking Jornals

Greenjello

Ice cream Jello from The Food Librarian

Sripraphai

Before indulging in a stream of compulsory (only to me) vacation dining recaps, I must first mention NYC’s Thai stalwart, Sripraphai. I dine there maybe every month-and-a-half and will always defend it against downhill alerts no matter how big they get for their britches, but haven’t posted about it in ages because I always order the same things and find the food to be generally consistent. No need for an update. However, I did want to assess the restaurant post-Thailand vacation.

While Sripraphai’s menu strays in many directions (northern khao soi and larb as well as the formidable southern curry) the bulk of what they serve is very close to what you’ll find in Bangkok: rich curries and multi-textured salads that skew slightly more sweet than hot. Awesome and never tiresome. I could eat this food every single day and not get bored (even though I indulged in some Sizzler and German fare in Bangkok).

By sweet, I don’t mean the lime juice-and-sugar dominated papaya salads of Brooklyn. Sripraphai still manages more spice than your corner Thai joint (though occasionally they go too tame–I’m not sure what to think of this Chowhound code word business). Their heat level and style of cooking is very much in line with Bangkok’s renowned Chote Chitr, which I finally got to try. Yet when we went three hours south to beachy Hua Hin, the non-touristy food was jarring and outright incendiary. I loved it, but never encountered that chile intensity in Bangkok. You probably won’t find it at Sripraphai either.

Sripraphai bbq pork salad

On my last visit just before heading out of town I decided to go wild and order something I’d never had before. Meet the bbq pork salad. Slightly different than the Thai salads I normally eat, this fatty grilled pork mélange is very limey and coated with roughly chopped garlic. While balanced, I prefer more sweet and hot.

Sripraphai crispy watercress salad

Like the dressing on he crispy Chinese watercress salad that never gets old. There’s just too much going on to get tired of it. Shrimp, shredded chicken, toasted cashews for crunch and dominate battered, fried watercress that manages to never be greasy. The best part might be the “goop” (that’s what we call it) that pools at the bottom of the plate from the dressing, sliced shallots, chopped chiles, cilantro and bits of pliable fallen-off batter on the verge of turning soggy. Never waste the goop. I could eat it over rice. Looking at this photo makes me very sad that I have vegetarian chicken salad sandwich and yogurt for lunch. I have never seen this dish in Thailand (I’ve only been twice, so hardly scouring the nation) or encountered it elsewhere in the US. Maybe it’s a bastardized invention.

Sripraphai chinese broccoli with crispy pork

Crispy pork is always a must. The more decadent version is stir-fired with chiles and basil. When I’m pretending to be healthy (you know, ordering two pork dishes at one meal) I pick the porcine nubs tossed with Chinese broccoli. Though flavored with little more than garlic and oyster sauce (maybe a little soy sauce too), there is nothing dull about this meat-enlivened vegetable dish.

Sripraphai penang curry

Then a curry. My favorite is the thick one with duck, eggplant and bamboo shoots. This is a typical panang, one of the big three, with beef. Rich, just a little spicy and covered with torn lime leaves and a drizzle of coconut cream. Nobody dislikes panang curry.

No desserts this time around, though when I do pick up a little plastic container to go it’s usually pumpkin custard squares. I checked out the new Filipino bakery catty-corner to Sripraphai but wasn’t feeling inspired by any of the ensaimadas. I just wanted a slice of ube chiffon cake.

Previously on Sripraphai

Sripraphai * 64-13 69th Ave., Woodside, NY

Too Tired For Words

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Winter Break

Heading to Bangkok, Hua Hin and Penang for the next two weeks. It's doubtful any blogging will occur until I get back.

Choptank

My experience with Maryland’s Eastern Shore is next to none—a weekend in Baltimore is as close as I’ve come—which is why the name Choptank only conjured up aquarium carnage. Apparently, it is a river, and the owners themselves weren’t sold on the name until last month.

I knew it wouldn’t be rustic even if they’d gone and warmed up the former stark white Bar Q space with brick and earth tones. But I was half-hoping for something more shacky and less lentils and crème de violette cocktails (despite my love for that mauve liqueur).

Choptank crab dip & old bay chips

The complementary crab dip and Old Bay chips was a nod in that direction. I liked this, not as much as a Phillips crab pretzel at a rest stop, but close. And a 20-ounce glass of Heavy Seas Loose Cannon India Pale Ale helped matters.

Choptank virginia ham plate

I didn’t go as far as ordering fried chicken (I didn’t want to indulge in front of a fried chicken-loving Lent-observer) but a Virginia ham plate didn’t seem too off base. Besides, it was almost too dainty to count. The dish was Manhattan-ized, shrunken in scale yet off, like beds and staircases in metric countries (ok, that’s most outside the US). Lilliputian biscuits with enough butter for triple the amount. Luckily, I wasn’t sharing.

Choptank clams

Then again, non-sharing didn’t afford a taste of the steamed littleneck clams.

Choptank crab cake

The crab cake was a nice meaty ball, the opposite of skimpy, or maybe it was just outsized next to the baby iceberg wedge drizzled with Thousand Island dressing, Saltines and small handful of string beans and chopped egg. It’s hard to gussy up a crab cake without seeming silly.

Choptank banana bread pudding

Banana bread pudding was a sweet little muffin with what I think was caramel ice cream (I just got made fun of for saying carmel, not pronouncing the A—I just can’t put in the extra syllable and am ok with it).

I wouldn’t rush back to Choptank but I could be convinced to stop by for some peel ‘n’ eat shrimp and a beer if I was in the West Village.

Choptank * 308-310 Bleecker St., New York, NY

Corton

? There is that rare state you sometimes achieve while dining where everything gels, the food makes you happy, so too the company. Everything just feels right. You might not even notice the people around you, what they ordered, said or are wearing because you’re in a private bubble tuning out the world around you. Sometimes the feeling is teased out from fine dining, though it could just as easily rise from a plate of tacos. This intangible joy was not achieved at Corton.

This wasn’t surprising considering the disconnect between glowing critical reviews (mostly from the cusp of 2008/2009) and dismayed internet comments. I wanted to side with the professionals. Possibly because this was my Valentine’s Day gift, appropriately celebrated two days past the holiday. High expectations.

And when I learned this was where we were going, I immediately thought better against taking photos, invoking a never verbalized 2010 resolution to just enjoy my food, savor without the need to blog it. But I brought my camera just in case. It’s not easy going cold turkey.

Corton amuses

Amuses. Ricotta was involved. Something made the muffin-puffs on the left green.

Corton butter

Butter. The green speckled slab was flavored with seaweed.

Corton second amuse

Another amuse. The first but not the last of aspic-like textures. I think the crumbles were homemade Grape-Nuts.

For wine, I was interested in trying an Alsatian Riesling (plus, with a $145 tasting menu I was hesitant to dip into the triple-digit-plus white Burgundy even if I wasn’t the one paying) and we chose the 1999 Domaine Clos St. Landelin "Vorbourg" Grand Cru. It turned out to be the last bottle and was corked, at that. Instead, we were given an off-menu 2007 J. Meyer Grittematte.

Corton uni, black konbu gelée, caviar

Corton uni, black konbu gelée, caviar part 2

Uni, Black Konbu Gelée, Caviar

Many of the dishes came with sides, which was sort of unusual. The algae-colored uni creation was placed front and center with the caviar vessel placed to the right.

Corton foie gras, smoked beet, blackberry, plum kernel oil

Corton foie gras, smoked beet, blackberry, plum kernel oil part 2

Foie Gras, Smoked Beet, Blackberry, Plum Kernel Oil

This, and one of the semi-desserts came with their own bread. The compressed beet, blackberry disk looked like a sausage.

Corton spider crab, parmesan spaghetti, cockles, meyer lemon

Corton spider crab, parmesan spaghetti, cockles, meyer lemon part 2

Spider Crab, Parmesan Spaghetti, Cockles, Meyer Lemon

The squiggles were presented with a crab shell covering them like a dome. The carapace was quickly whisked away.

Corton atlantic turbot ‘saveurs du terroir’

Corton atlantic turbot ‘saveurs du terroir’ part 2

Corton atlantic turbot ‘saveurs du terroir’ part 3

Atlantic Turbot ‘Saveurs du Terroir’

The truffle-flecked fish formed into a tube, was a highlight. I also liked the use of a swampy green palette throughout the meal. This course went totally wild and was made up of three components.

Corton squab, torte, pine, madras, date purée.CR2

Corton squab, torte, pine, madras, date purée part 2

Squab, Torte, Pine, Madras, Date Purée

This is when the evening took a wrong turn. We had been seated next to a VIP who seemed to be a youngish chef and his wife/girlfriend celebrating a birthday. They were also doing a tasting and were neck and neck with us on courses, except each round they received was more amped up and laden with extras than ours. Big corner booth, truffles shaved tableside and so on.

That’s the way the world works. I understand. (If I were to show up in someone else’s corporate library, maybe they’d share a Lexis-Nexis password with me or something. Us professional researchers, total soigné treatment.) Grant Achatz explained the tricky balance of serving both mortals and VIPs in The Atlantic last year. “Sorry sir, you are not special enough to enjoy that creation.”

I began to take a photo of the ravioli, no one had even glanced our way up until this point, and the guest at the nearby table started doing the same with his cameraphone. Immediately, a woman who I assumed to be the manager, rushed over to me. “If you are taking photos for Flickr or Eater, the chef doesn’t allow that.” Only those two? I internally sassed. “We can provide press photos,” she added. Interesting angle, the image controlling. I was aware that Paul Liebrandt might be a bit of a killjoy, but I never imagined that would translate into a deflation of my own dining experience.

Nothing was said to the VIP. I don't begrudge them, but the scolding began to feel more acute with so much specialness being showered inches away.

This brings up a gazillion issues…or two. Spending $500 doesn’t entitle you to be a wild, food paparazzi douche but does it allow some degree of digital freedom?  Rube-like as it is, taking photos of my meals gives me memory-preserving pleasure, small amounts, granted, but how harmful is it for diners to indulge their dorky tendencies?

And then there is the matter of food blogging and the pathological reliance on photography. I wrote about what I ate in 2000 text-only and no one cared. I write about what I eat in 2010, illustrate meals with pictures and slightly more people care (though I think that has more to do with blogs being mainstream versus a decade ago).

I’m not naturally inclined to take photos of anything, food included. On my first visit to Asia in 2003 I only took 11 photos (pre-digital). My last trip to Asia I took a still-restrained 226. Tomorrow I leave for Bangkok and anticipate topping this. Photo-documentation is the new norm. When I took a cooking class in Oaxaca over Thanksgiving, nearly every single student from college kid to retiree had expensive, professional DSLRs and video cameras.

It is tough because who reads about food anymore without visuals? It’s all skimming and ogling, not about words. Can you name a popular photo-free dining blog? It all depends on what a food blog is for. Do people post photos as trophies, proof that they ate someplace exotic, expensive or popular? To make themselves seem more interesting based on their dining habits? I started cataloging where I ate as an offshoot of my ‘90s online diary, just a self-absorbed way to detail the day-to-day. Comments didn’t exist yet, it wasn’t about creating community. There were message boards for that. Only the few people who cared about me would even possibly care about what I was eating. At some point this shifted in a surprising way and strangers did start gaining audiences of other food-crazed strangers. One-upmanship emerged, scoops, personalities, social media experts. And now there is a glut.

I’ve been trying to extract myself from that genre for ages. The photo, caption, photo, caption blahness. I think this will be the last of my tasting menu shot-by-shot write ups. But if I knew how to create a compelling never seen before style of food blogging, I would do it. That’s the type of innovation that could keep you in Corton tasting menus every night of the week.

There were three more dishes, the desserts, to arrive. Even though at the time the Brillat-Savarin, Black Winter Truffle, White Chocolate was completely overwhelming, it’s the only item I ate at Corton that I thought about later. I was just thinking about the creamy wedge of dairy like a savory piece of birthday cake with a thin layer of truffles in the center where the frosting would be, a thin half-dollar circle of also creamy, déclassé white chocolate as garnish (and God, no, I won’t say it was “haunting”). There was a little piece of brioche as an accompaniment. This uncomplicated but luxurious bridge between sweet and savory was my favorite.

Marcona Almond Palette, Mandarin, Fennel, Tamarind and “Baba Bouchon”
Bitter Chocolate Crème, Yogurt Crumble, Muscovado Caramel followed. By the time the final chocolate course arrived, about three hours after being seated, I was antsy and ready to leave.

You may have noticed that I’m barely talking about flavors. I honestly can’t remember them. I kind of lost interest after the camera incident but I might be losing interest in high end dining overall. I rarely leave feeling satisfied, just kind of shoulder-shrugging and flat. I want to appreciate unique and fleeting experiences without fetishizing them.

Corton * 239 W. Broadway, New York, NY

Jade Island

How much you enjoy the food at Jade Island will have a lot to do with your feelings on maraschino cherries and sweetened flaked coconut on savories. And whether you’re ok with canned mushrooms, pineapple and lychees. Otherwise, soaking up the throwback cocktails and tiki décor and may be more palatable for those with more refined tastes than mine.

Jade island booths

Weekend Valentine’s Days are dangerous and romance should be avoided at all costs. That’s why I ended up on a Polynesian-themed double date in Staten Island on Sunday.

Jade island coconut kiss

I quickly got into the mood with a coconut kiss, their take on a pina colada. You’d better be able to abide Malibu rum.

Jade island pupu platter

You cannot have tiki without the pupu. I am still a bit disconcerted that crab rangoon did not make the cut. Instead, make due with shrimp toast, curry beef skewers, fried shrimp, chicken wings and spare ribs with hot mustard and duck sauce.

Jade island sesame noodles

Cold sesame noodles were also a starter.

Jade island prawn rangoon

The closest you’ll come to rangoon is a dish called prawn rangoon, which involves neither wontons nor cream cheese. Prawns are butterflied and coated in what appears to be flat out egg, not egg batter, and pan-fried, creating a squishy, puffy coating. The tail-on seafood blobs are surrounded by mushrooms, snow peas, lychees, carrots, pineapple and enough maraschino cherries to create a pink-tinged pool of sauce.

Jade island volcano chicken

But that really has nothing over the volcano chicken, akin to sweet and sour with an emphasis on sweet. This is where you’ll find that flaked coconut…and more cherries. I wouldn’t be surprised if an entire bottle was used on our meal alone.

Jade island mei fun

Not all the food is big top brash. Mei fun (pictured) and chow fun with pork were soothing in their tameness. That’s a lot of noodles, now that I assess this meal. My pick was the prawn rangoon. Happy Valentine's to me.

Previously on Jade Island.

Jade Island * 2845 Richmond Ave., Staten Island, NY

In Other Words: Chains Give False Sense of Entitlement to Sociopathic Professors

According to The Boston Globe, Amy Bishop, now better known as the tenure terrorist (well, to me) had an IHOP fit of violence:

"In March 2002, Bishop walked into an International House of Pancakes restaurant in Peabody with her family, asked for a booster seat for one of her children, and learned the last seat had gone to another customer, according to a police report.

Bishop strode to the customer, identified in the report as Michelle Gjika, demanded the seat and, after a profanity-laced rant, punched her in the head while yelling 'I am Dr. Amy Bishop.'"

To me, that feels more Denny's than IHOP.