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Posts from the ‘Newborns’ Category

Jun 20

I’m With the Band

Ignoring T.G.I. Friday’s late-to-the-game attempts at small plates, Subway has introduced a new overstuffed behemoth (I can’t find any reference to this on their lame website or on the blogosphere—perhaps I imagined it?). Surely, to compete with Quizno’s girthier sandwiches. Sorry Jared. The commercial that I’ve only seen once initially caught my attention because I’m a sucker for chain food gimmicks, then I became fascinated by one of the eaters, a office lady woman dressed to look younger than she is. Office ladies eat Lean Cuisine, salads and microwave popcorn, not bulging hoagies. But I do appreciate the attempt to include the fairer sex in their marketing ploy.

Another weird ladylike eating habit presented itself to me on Sunday. I was scoping out the now slightly famous Red Hook ball fields. I hadn’t been this year, and wow, it has practically been taken over by South Brooklyn post-college, just barely pre-stroller/SUV set. Live and let live, but I couldn’t ignore the female members of these crews and their approach to a food-centric gathering.

There were a number of groups scattered around the hot grass and precious few shady tables, and they tended to be made up of two or three guys with one girl. The young men were all chowing down on sasquatch-sized huaraches or greasy pupusas while their accompanying gal pal remained empty handed. Ok, a few had agua frescas and one of the dudes tried scoring a Diet Coke for his little lady but the damn Mexicans only had full sugar versions.

Boyband_2So, that’s how you spend your Sunday? Sipping lemonade and watching a bunch of men eat? I don’t get the point. Maybe it’s the 2007 equivalent of being subjected to band practice, a ritual no self-respecting woman over 24 should engage in.

Hmm, I was just skimming through my feeds and couldn’t help but notice this post from a Food & Wine editorial assistant (#4 of Five Bites Outside of Aspen). It looks like the girl managed to at least choke down half a quesadilla. We must’ve been on different days.

I, too, had a quesadilla on Sunday. And yeah, they’re unnecessarily large (though I handled a whole one no problem). I’d never had a Red Hook version before and was hoping they’d be compact and cheesey like the one I recently had in Mexico City. The Brooklyn ones aren’t really like quesadillas at all since they put tons of stuff in them like lettuce, onions and they don’t stay stuck in a half moon shape because the cheese is only melted to the tortilla and there’s not enough of it. The insides need to be gooey and you really only need one simple filling.

Jeez, I had no idea I was such a street food snob. I’d remedy this with a Subway sandwich taste test, if I could only remember the name of their new supersized product.

Photo from the New York Times article, "The Boys in the Band Are in AARP"

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Oct 26

Going to the Bathroom Like Clockwork Good

Prune_1 Because I’m a sucker for gimmicks, I’ve been eating Activa yogurt since it was launched earlier this year. I’m not exactly wild about yogurt but it’s easy to transport to work, is low in fat and calories (well, that Greek stuff isn’t and that’s probably why it actually tastes good) and this particular product is supposedly filled with good bacteria that they’ve named Bifidus Regularis™ (honestly, I don’t know how you invent a bacteria). Over the years I’ve taken acidophilus (I always thought it was a yeast prevention, but my dad also took it for ages which is kind of strange now that I think about it because he was so not into vitamins or health in general), so I figured why not get more probiotics through food.

But I never gave much thought to the angle Activa was actually pushing until I saw a new flavor at Pathmark this weekend: prune. Prune? I’ve never encountered prune yogurt in my lifetime. Prunes are for pooping, duh. I should’ve looked more closely at their advertising claims bolstered by an illustration of a taut stomach with an arrow pointing downward, “helps naturally regulate your digestive system” and “helps reduce long intestinal transit time.” Ah yes, the dreaded long intestinal transit time (I actually discovered I suffered from such an affliction when I ate baked and ate blue velvet cake and my toilet water shockingly ended up turquoise a full three days later).

So, I’m mildly bothered by eating Metamucil in yogurt form but I’d much prefer this over anything hawked by those horrible Yoplait “getting a foot massage while shoe shopping for chocolate covered heels good” girls.

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Sep 26

Veg or Veggies Will Never Cross My Lips

I’ve never been one who gets all crazy over greenmarkets. Produce is ok, but I don’t soil myself over Fairy Tale eggplants or donut peaches. But last week on one of my many free days (after my Spanish lesson, which I’m going to have to quit because I can’t afford them anymore. I’m feeling guilty and haven’t told my tutor yet even though I’m supposed to get back to him today about scheduling the next class. I don’t know why I feel bad about depriving him of income when it’s not like anyone extends such courtesies my direction) I decided to hit Union Square for end of summer corn and heirloom tomatoes.

LTomatoesast week I made a rule that I’d try to eat more fruit and vegetables and fewer fatty and sugary items and exercise more and stay away from cigarettes. I’ve done decently, though not perfectly with the eating and activity aspect but my smoking (which I technically quit in 2003) is completely out of control. If I don’t watch it I’m going to get one of those raspy middle-aged voices (or lose my voice box altogether, which would be a shame because I have so many wonderful things yet to say). I put aside health concerns while in Barcelona early last month with the idea that I’d clean up my act when the vacation ended. That has yet to happen. I think today the carton of Export As that James bought in Montreal will run out and I won’t be able to sneak them anymore. And that’s good because I'm too cheap to buy my own.

So, over the past few days I’ve gone nuts with vegetables. And yes, I don’t deny that heirloom tomatoes taste a million times better than grocery store balls of red mush but they’re not the types of edibles that I have the wherewithal to track down on a regular basis. The dilemma is that when I have the weekday freedom to leisurely shop for food in non-nearby neighborhoods it’s likely because I’m not at work (there are a hell of a lot of people who don’t seem to have a care in the world. Today while walking to the subway around 1:45pm for my Monday 2:30-11:30 shift the sidewalks were clogged with couples walking dogs and sitting at cafes. Who the hell are these layabouts? And don’t tell me they’re all students or work nights) which means I don’t feel good about spending extra money on organic produce.

Tomato_saladTaste aside, I just like food (natural or not) that comes in bright colors because it’s pretty (I’ve also been fascinated by the white chocolate pirate M&Ms in pearly shades). Last night I made succotash, which I’ve never had freshly made and it was amazing, no doubt because it contained heavy cream, bacon and butter, duh. I also fixed an heirloom tomato and blue cheese salad (left) and stacked tomato salad with black olive tapenade and sweet basil dressing (despite being a Bobby Flay recipe. I know I’m not the only one disturbed by his attempt at “throwing down” the cooks at the Red Hook ball fields). I don’t know how long this fresh food bender will last. Probably until I get home late tonight and delve into the bag of junk food we bought at Target last week (I can’t resist the Halloween aisle). Mini Take 5s (my favorite vaguely new mainstream candy) Archer Farms Monster Bites and cinnamon apple caramel corn (I do love how non-NYC newspapers have blogs with subjects like snack food from Target) are going to be the death of me (if that irresistible nicotine doesn’t get me first).

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Sep 11

Shrugging it Off

New things I discovered on my way to and while in Montreal.

Shrug_1 Dulce de Leche Oreos: I always find something great at Wal-Mart. This time I got a cheapy chocolate-colored velvet shrug (I know, I'm not fond of that weirdo short length either, but I'd brought a too-slinky top to wear out later without realizing how chilly it was north of NYC and needed something brown to match my skirt and to just kind of cover up my upper arms and chest. There's something demented about wearing a $10 jacket to a $300 meal, but it makes more sense to me than people spending hundreds on an item of clothing and starving, which is very New York) and a box of new limited edition dulce de leche Oreos.

Unfortunately, they just kind of taste like sugar and not much else. I'm not one for declaring anything too sweet or too rich, but these just hurt my teeth. The fact that they've been in my possession for a full week and I've only eaten two is a testament to their lackluster performance as a cookie. To be fair, I don't really like most prepackaged cookies anyway (same with canned soups). When M&Ms went all melting pot and introduced dulce de leche candies, I don't think they were that successful either.

KitkatDark Chocolate Kit Kats: We had these in 2004, but I don't think they've stuck around. Initially, I was confused by two different dark chocolate Kit Kats at Couche-Tard (that name will never cease to make me chuckle). One was noir (just because it was in French) and the other was Xtra or some such. The only clue to their difference was the little picture on the front of the packages. Noir had dark chocolate on the outside and Xtra had dark chocolate and a chocolate wafer, hence the Xtra (I also found out that there's a cinnamon limited edition in Canada). Anyway, they tasted typically Kit Katty. I was hoping they'd be more like British Kit Kats, which use a creamier better tasting chocolate. I don't know why American (and apparently Canadian) mainstream candy bars always taste so bland and waxy.

Cheese: We took our chances on some random cheese from a European type deli that's down the street from Schwartz's whose name I can never remember (we ended up there last time too). I'm sure we could've tracked down more exquisite varieties at a proper fromagerie, but our choices ended up being more remarkable that I would've expected. In fact, I've eaten bread and cheese for dinner the past four evenings. That can't be good for you.

I always have to pick a blue but don't love the extreme sharp styles. Geai Bleu (blue jay) from Brigham, Quebec, just looked mild and it turned out to be smooth and creamy. I also like to have a soft cheese and settled on Cendré des Prés because I couldn't figure out why it had a black stripe through its center. It turns out that's from maple wood ash, which sounds kind of creepy but isn't. James likes straightforward hard cheeses and isn't into adventuring so I talked him into getting a raw milk Comte Juraflore like we'd been served two nights before at Anise. I honestly don't know what the taste difference is between a raw milk and pasteurized variety, but this Comte is crazy-you can't stop at one slice. I should buy an FDA approved wedge for comparison.

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Aug 24

Clams & Tomatoes: Interspecies Friends?

Clamato I don't normally give much attention to the office vending machine (though I've always been wowed by the one that dispense Good Humor ice cream bars) but it's one of the only things to look at while waiting for my coffee to brew or drip or whatever it does that takes an eternity to come out (they have this fancy Starbucks contraption that grinds your beans on demand and makes a fresh cup, but it takes its sweet time).

The other day I couldn't help but notice the word Clamato staring out at me. Who knew they made Clamato tortilla chips? (They being Poore Brothers, who also make T.G.I. Friday's chips and Cinnabon cookies.) And who on earth would've thought it was a good idea to put them in there? I strongly doubt that it was a request. In the past I've seen handwritten, taped up pleas for more Baked Lays (maybe all those fake fats are the source of the office's apparent bowel incontinence problem). I'm not a chip person, but I am almost curious enough to see if they're really color crayon red like on the package and if they actually taste like tomatoes and clams.

The odd thing is that a bulk of the internet references to this bizarre snack food also mention vending machines so it must be some corporate-geared thing.

Clammy tomato goodness from iamgracie on Flickr.

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Jul 24

Slurpees Aren’t Even the Half of It

Since there aren’t many 7-Elevens around the city (no, I never got into that brief urban nostalgia craze when they started opening in Manhattan last year), I forget how crazy and full of amazing innovations they are.  When I lived in Sunset Park for a few years, I had an On the Run, complete with a small parking lot (atypical for Brooklyn) on the next block. It met the minimal requirements for a convenience store, but they didn’t get too wild with the products (except for the Green Mountain blueberry and pumpkin flavored coffees advertised in the gas station).

I popped in the Bay Ridge 7-Eleven this weekend after a patience trying, but ultimately fruitful Century 21 visit (I’ve really been wanting these green sandals with a cork heel, (they're not jade like in the photo but true color crayon green) but $79 seemed completely overpriced. $59 at Century 21 was still more than I thought was fair, but then I remembered that I had a little birthday pocket cash and all was good). It was a bonanza of bizarre edible inventions. I wish I’d had my camera with me because, duh, a picture is worth a thousand words (and my words aren’t even that worthy). If berry and squash coffees were disturbing, 7-Eleven goes one further with a whole machine devoted to making key lime cappuccino. How did that flavor combo even cross someone’s mind?

Despite not even drinking soda, I was very impressed with their beverage station that was promoting a “flavor blast” concept. You could push a button and choose a squirt of additional flavor like cherry, vanilla or lemon to pep up your Coke, Sierra Mist, whatever. I think vanilla root beer would be nice. It reminded me of how at Farrell’s (I don’t think there are many left in the world) you used to be able to order vanilla, cherry or chocolate cokes that had syrup mixed in.

Creme_egg_ice_cream I did purchase a Cadbury Crème Egg ice cream, if you can imagine. The actual icy confection on a cone doesn’t really resemble the illustration on the wrapper, but my photo didn’t turn out (I’m lame and can’t figure out how to make the object in the foreground in focus rather than the other way around). The top portion is kind of small, smaller than a Drumstick. And there really is a yellow fondant fake yolk in the middle of the vanilla ice cream. It was kind of creepy and incredibly sugary and I loved it.

The P'EatZZa Sandwich is "a marriage made only in 7-Eleven heaven." Well, they said it. I’m more fascinated by the spelling and pronunciation (Puh-Eat-Zuh) of the damn thing than the actual item itself.

There’s nothing novel about selling two-packs of hard boiled eggs, but sometimes simplicity gets you too.

7-Eleven * 301 65th St., Brooklyn, NY

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Jun 10

Out with the Old, In with the New

Arbys I’m so out of the loop. How could I not know about this new mall development in Glendale? I love me a Queens mall, but there’s something a bit off with The Shops at Atlas Park. For one, I have no idea what half of these stores even are. Crazy for Animals? Amish Fine Food? White House-Black Market?! What the hell? These are not the chains I’m accustomed to. That’s what happens when you build a mall where no subway goes. And Chili’s is no great shakes. They don’t even have a theme. Er, or are baby back ribs their calling card?

After the lack of Sonics anywhere 100 miles from here, I got on an Arby’s bender because they’re another one of those fast food companies that advertises on TV yet has (almost) zero NYC presence. And I’m dying for a beef ‘n cheddar. I used to eat a beef ‘n cheddar and jamocha shake almost every day for lunch as a high school freshman. Oh, and a Cherry Coke and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup in study hall (and I weighed like 70 pounds less then than I do now. No shit. More and more, I’m starting to believe that metabolism slowing with age thing).

Horseysauce A few weeks ago I noticed that they’re building an Arby’s in Middle Village, which makes me happy. But it’s being constructed on the old Niederstein’s spot (scroll to middle of page), which makes me sad because it was the oldest restaurant on Long Island (of course you all know that technically Queens and Brooklyn are on Long Island). Even though the food supposedly sucked, I had every intention of trying Niederstein’s for at least the novelty of an old German hold-out nestled next to a cemetery, while I lived those three years in neighboring Ridgewood. But I never did it. I’ll have to rectify that oversight with a beef ‘n cheddar (don't forget the Horsey Sauce) in the near future.

Old style Arby's hat photo borrowed from tesg's guide to big chain road food consumption.

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May 29

Bowl Me Over

Bowls I know I can't be the only one bothered by KFC's new Famous Bowls. And it's not like I have good taste either (I'm totally fascinated by Crunchwraps and stuffed crust pizza). There's just something very wrong about this overloaded combination. Fried chicken, corn, mashed potatoes and gravy all seem innocent enough when compartmentalized on the plate, so it must be the crowning glory, the three cheese (which three, pray tell?) blend.

The completely unnecessary addition of cheese (hey, except in that stuffed crust) is the hallmark of any good American fast food invention. It's like the recipe developers just weren't satisfied with cramming a typical KFC meal in a bowl and calling it a day (not too long ago Taco Bell went this same route with their Border Bowl). It had to have that extra oomph, and in many cases oomph equals cheese.

My other personal peeve with this dish is that it's one of those crammed convenience meals that might psychologically feel like you're eating less than a normal plate full of food because it's all squished and combined. I like my food to last a long time so superficially it seems more satisfying. I hate how in NYC (or maybe other places too) they serve bagels filled to the gills and halved like a sandwich. I always pull mine apart (and occasionally remove some of the cream cheese-I know, blasphemy) so it takes twice as long to eat. Ok, maybe I'm the one with the problem. I like to eat a lot and it's a trick I can play on myself that works.

Mayo I've always had an unabashed problem with mayonnaise, though I will admit to gaining an appreciation for the emulsified spread served with French fries, especially if it's freshly whipped up. I mean, it's just egg and oil, so what's the big deal? I will concede that mayonnaise has its place…in small doses.

Yet, I'm disturbed by Hellman's Easy Out! because it's encouraging excessive use of the questionable condiment, just what I've rallied against for like 30 years. Did consumers really cry out for easier access to mayo? The commercial shows a huge dollop being squeezed onto a wrap, akin to shaking hot sauce on a burrito. Not the same.

Now, squeezable cranberry sauce? That's bizarre on a totally different level. Inoffensive, yet odd.

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May 18

Newborns: Cake & Pretzels

I’ve recently discovered two new treats that have made my day. (And no, Coca-Cola BlaK isn’t on my list, though I actually like it better than plain cola which isn’t saying much because most cola type beverages upset me.).

E_u_celebration_1

Entenmann’s Ultimate Celebration Cake
It practically jumped off the shelf at me at Western Beef. Really, it’s just a yellow cake with chocolate frosting and circular sprinkles, but it’s so damn festive. It brought me joy on three separate occasions in the past week or so (that’s the benefit of junky preservative-laden snacks—they keep in the fridge for abnormal lengths of time). Watching Sunday night HBO can be a celebration, managing to make it to six o’clock without hurting others (or yourself) can be a celebration. Life can be one big freaking celebration. Thank you, Entenmann’s.

Hotbuffalowingpcs2_1 Snyder’s of Hanover Hot Buffalo Wing Pieces
Pretz has nothing over Snyder's. They already make those peculiar ochre honey mustard nubs that I find disgustingly tasty. They must put something extra in those artificial flavors to increase appetite. I’m able to resist Dorrito dust, but Cheeto powder has an allure. Wasabi peas too—I can eat a whole bag in one sitting, and almost did just that on Sunday.

But buffalo wing pretzels?! Is buffalo flavor the new ranch? That’s outrageous. The pretzel cubes are shocking orange and initially too tangy, but then you get a little spice and the vinegary quality is mitigated when the blander pretzel middle breaks open and mixes in your mouth. Not bad. And next thing you know, you’ve reached into the bag like ten times. Just imagine dipping these pieces in blue cheese dressing.

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May 4

2 Comments

Asian Persuasion

Mcasian_chicken_salad I'm not sure that I'm loving it. I'm always willing and able to taste test a new fast food salad. And I'm a sucker for anything Asian. But, as I'm sure you know these "Asian" salads (Wendy's has had one for a while, though I've only tried it once) are eerily sweet and crunchy concoctions formerly known as Oriental. I think mandarin oranges means Oriental, right?

I rarely eat at McDonald's, and I find the menu baffling. If you don't want a value meal, you're mildly screwed. I hate soda, so I like to order a cheeseburger and fries a la carte, which is no easy feat but doable. The salads, however, aren't listed anywhere on the menu. I know they have four choices because I've looked online like a freak. The only hint that they sell even salads is the one color ad touting the Asian salad, Dasani water combo with a free exercise DVD. Nowhere can you see how much the salad costs by itself or what other options are available, and that's fundamentally irritating.

The chicken comes glazed with a sweet and sour orange sauce, so you already have a tangy, sugary component. If you use the entire packet of Newman's Own Low Fat Sesame Ginger dressing, you're in for a zingy not-so-pleasant surprise. I could barely slog through the chunks of white iceberg because my tongue was being zapped with citric jolts, and I only used about ? of the packet.

The edamame were a nice touch. I did like the slivered almonds, and prefer them to Wendy's crispy noodles (oh, I just checked-Wendy's has almonds and noodles-no wonder it's higher fat). Wendy's also wins out for using fresher greens and offering a slightly larger portion. Granted, salads aren't necessarily intended as hearty fare, but I don't want to be starving a few hours later, either. I might actually give it another go when I'm feeling particularly cheap and calorie conscious, but I'll by hyper diligent about portioning that damn dressing.

Oh, have you seen McDonald's i-am-asian section? It's not hideous and patronizing like it used to be. Now it's just kind of fun (yes, I find this kind of promotional crap fun) and informational. 365Black and LoMcximo, I'm not so sure about.

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