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Hormel, You Compleat Me

Breakfast cheesesteak

While on my monthly suburban excursion, I thought Quick Chek’s new (to me) Breakfast Cheesesteak might be the find of the journey. Turns out Sonic, just down Route 1 a bit, has a Zesty Cheesesteak Breakfast Burrito. Two’s a trend.

Partycake peeps

But that was before I found party cake-flavored
Peeps at Walmart. How does one make something taste like party cake? Not sure,
but it’s that same synthetic vanilla, butter and maybe eggy quality that
defines cake batter ice creams at places like Coldstone Creamery. The Peeps are
covered in rainbow speckles to denote a party and their marshmallow guts are
not bright white but pale yellow. Is yellow cake a party cake?


The Hormel Compleats aisle may be the saddest
section at Wegmans. This was reinforced by the row of Healthy Choice’s Lunch
taunting at eye level. I would seriously cry if my midday meal was a
small plastic tub with a small portion of pasta or white rice and a quarter cup
of goop waiting to be mixed in and microwaved (the cover as strainer is kind of
cool, I suppose?). If you wanted to stay under 300 calories couldn't you just eat a bowl of soup or something?  If anything, these packaged meals would probably benefit from
a little horse meat to liven things up a bit. I am going to order some medicore sushi off Seamless now.

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