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Sunday Night Special: Pad Thai

Bean_sprout_ro I’ve never understood why bean sprouts are so scarce. I got it when I lived in Ridgewood: Polish = no bean sprouts. I almost even resorted to canned La Choy once. In Sunset Park/Greenwood Heights the nearest source was about half a mile away at a South Slope deli. I didn’t think bean sprouts were a specialty or “ethnic” ingredient but I’m starting to wonder. They don’t even carry them at Rossman Farms, my favorite cheapo, all-purpose produce store that sometimes surprises. A full handcart never ends up being over ten bucks.

Bean sprouts aren’t worth the hassle of going out your way for them. Currently, the closest grocery store to me is the so-so Henry Street Met. And I’ll occasionally stop by after work for a handful of things but I’m not going to walk sixteen blocks home and back to come away empty-handed.

I thought for sure the healthy Korean deli with packaged vegan sandwiches and loose tofu would have them, but no. They did have enoki mushrooms, and I considered them for similar shape and crunch but it didn’t seem right. So, no bean sprouts appear in this semi-impromptu pad thai.

I had been writing about Thai restaurants and strangely, I was bitten by the pad thai bug. I don’t think I’ve had the noodles in at least a year. Ordering them at restaurants seems like a waste of a dish. Kasma Loha-unchit is reliable for recipes and I followed hers almost faithfully and adjusted to what I had around the house. That meant chicken thigh instead of tofu and shrimp and using two eggs instead of three because I was already going protein heavier than the original. I used hot radish rather than sweet because I have a perishable little jar in the fridge that needs to be used up. I also considered this foil packaged radish because I tend to buy pickled things without knowing how to use them and I need to pare down my pantry contents. I do like this sentiment on the label, “It is not only an idea food at home or journey but also a best gift to your friends.”

And I like chopping and sprinkling the cilantro rather than sticking a few sprigs on top. Urgh, and then my limes that I’d bought the day before disappeared. I’m not sure if they got left at Stop & Shop or if I accidentally threw them out with a plastic bag. Ok, so this was a sproutless, limeless rendition (luckily, the corner produce cart guy near my office had a few limes so my evening leftovers will be tarter) and it was still better than average.

Pad_thai
No, I'm not much of a photo stager

Soaking the noodles in warm water for nearly an hour instead of cooking for a few minutes made a big difference. I wasn’t sold on the idea. They seemed way too stiff after their water bath but I tossed them into the wok anyway. And then after adding the sauce, everything seemed too wet. But miraculously, it all came together and the noodles were nearly perfect. I usually have issues with rice sticks, well, sticking. If I only had those damn bean sprouts, this would be a high-ranking rendition. But that’s a reflection of NYC’s vegetable lameness, not the recipe’s fault.

Friedfish_2 As an earlier lazy snack, I peeled open a tin can of fried fish with chile and consumed it simply with a small bowl of rice. It’s possibly the equivalent of canned sardines with crackers. A cheap treat with crunchy, edible bones but sweet and spicy. The only thing is that the cartoon fish logo looks like he’s drooling. And the fish used in the cans are downright scary. I didn’t know what grinner or clarias were until I looked them up. One is borderline monstrous, the other walks, yes, walks. Though I like munching on their flesh, I have an aversion to sea creatures (whales, while majestic to many, give me the creeps. And these timely things, sweet jesus). It’s not always a good idea to know what your food looks like.

$3.49 Lofthouse

Lofthouse_cookies_exposedI very rarely shop at Stop & Shop, mostly because there aren’t that many around. But yesterday I was on Northern Boulevard sampling Colombian hamburgers (and ultimately ended up seeing 28 Weeks Later a few blocks over in Astoria—I’m still not clear where the Long Island City border is. I'm also not clear why ESLs go to English language movies if they have to have every other word explained to them aloud. And if inanity like "What's a pub?" is going to occur, why does it have to be conducted half an inch from me?) and for boring reasons I ended up at two Stop & Shops (L.I.C. and Maspeth).

I do enjoy their spacious aisles and near approximation of suburban shopping. Plus, they’re never crowded (they tend to be a little overpriced unless you get one of those loyalty cards, which apply to practically everything). But the biggest draw besides the bottle and can recycling machine is their brightly colored sprinkle-topped sugar cookies that tend to have seasonal themes.

I thought they were a house brand, but they’re made by a company called Lofthouse (their website appears to be in limbo). I’ve never been crazy about store bought cookies (or canned soup) because they always seem lacking. But these thick icing-heavy examples are an exception. They’re not special, more like something someone would bring to grade school for a birthday (except that now everyone has allergies or is obese or organic-only and treats are outlawed). There’s a floury, slightly baking soda-ish quality to them, crumbly and chewy at the same time, and I swear to god, toothsome would be an apt description but I’m not using that word anymore.

Lofthouse_cookies It seems that I’m not alone in my fondness for these sweets, though chatter on Yahoo! Answers isn’t really indicative of anything. Heck, people also devote time posting “Which major chain restaurant has sourdough bread that is cut in 4?” and “At taco bell they serve a pinto bean and cheese thing and I would love to make it with dinner tonight.?

I won’t question why red, white and blue is featured in May. I suppose patriotism can be celebrated year-round. In fact, there was a mom shopping with two youngish boys, and one was dressed head to toe in camo, so who’s to say?

One Man’s Toothsome is Another’s Melts in Your Mouth

MeltykissWe all have our pet peeves. I’m cliché crazy so I should tread lightly here. I use tasty to describe food and that’s probably a nuisance to some (though I wouldn’t necessarily use the term in something professional, whatever that means anymore). I would never say yummy (or god forbid, yummo) but it doesn’t rankle me. I really don’t care for the word succulent and once an editor inserted that into an opening paragraph I’d written and it skeeved me out.

My least favorite food description has to be melts in your mouth followed by to die for with sinful as a close runner up. I guess chocolate really does melt in your mouth, hence the M&M’s melts in your mouth, not in your hands tagline, but you see it used all the time to describe meat and fish and that’s not really accurate or appetizing. You usually see melts in your mouth in online forums or casual venues, it’s to be expected, but last week it was in a Time Out NY review. No, not the New York Times, but they do have standards (and a style guide).

Out of curiosity, I turned to Chowhound for a sense of this phrase’s ubiquitousness. I’m not picking on Chowhound, they just proved to be a good resource because they’re one of the longest running food boards and I thought I’d get a good sampling. I was expecting a couple hundred hits. But no, there were 3,296. Seriously. And the second hit contains an amazing double whammy right in the title. “Melt in your mouth, to die for sushi?” Bonanza.

Not completely related, and it’s a Britisism/Aussieism, but only in the past few months have I become acquainted with the phrase to the boil as in “let it come to the boil” as opposed to to a boil. Petty, I know, it’s a standing in/on line thing. My ears just can’t get accustomed to standing on a line no matter how long I live here.

I'm sure there are countless other petty offensenes. I've heard of toothsome haters and it doesn't pain me in the least to use the adjective.

Carniceria

1/2 *Unsurprisingly, Carniceria has bit the dust. (10/1/07)

Carniceria_facadeA few months ago, probably in February, I mistakenly attempted to try Novo, Alex Garcia’s first comeback restaurant. I’m not sure that it was supposed to be open to the public, it was a total freak scene. The kitchen was closed, looked like it has been out of commission for some time and covered with a curtain. The bartender could barely manage a mojito, even though it was her suggestion. Boxes were piled up in the bathroom and the only patrons seemed to be friends of the staff. Sketchy. It reminded me of that Asbury Park Howard Johnson's that time forgot. Apparently, it's now an "upsacale, yet unpretencious lounge."

Carniceria_seafood_empanadaSo, I was surprised to hear that the chef had reappeared in my neighborhood and at cursed former Porchetta, no less. No, the irony of troubled chef choices hasn’t been lost on some, but Cobble Hill could stand some sort of excitement (maybe they can get that raw food perv in the kitchen after this incarnation sours). It was worth a visit and I was glad to hear the owner admit that the area didn’t need another Italian restaurant. I’m all for any new place that’s not Thai, Italian or French bistro.

Carniceria_dining_room Even though I intended to, I never ate at Porchetta so I can’t speak to décor changes. I had seen photos of that faux taxidermy deer head and it looks like they’ve swapped it for white antler-esque wall sconces. The brown vinyl tablecloths feel new (and hot on the legs) and maybe the iridescent wall paper. I suspect there hasn’t been a major cosmetic overhaul, though.

Carniceria_scallops_oxtail_polentaThe service was slightly buggy, one server was very informed and had an accent that James insisted was fake (I strongly doubt that but it was bit Montalban-esque) and the other was a little twitchy and unsure. But the food seemed fairly confident for only being open a weekend. They weren’t set up to make tamales yet and didn’t have the lobster for multi-seafood dishes. Everything else was go.

Carcineria_entrana_3 Despite the heat not putting me in much of a carnivorous mood, at least one cut of grass fed beef needed to be sampled. I tried the skirt steak. I’m not sure if my mind made me taste unusual flavors because I knew my length of beef wasn’t a corn product, but it truly tasted super beefy, ever so slightly gamey. As a sauce, I preferred the chimichurri to the red chile relish that also came as a condiment. The grilled onions were side enough, though cauliflower, potatoes, chard and sweet potatoes described in more enticing terms were available as an add-on.

Carniceria_datilesI can never resist a bacon-wrapped date in any fashion. Here they’re stuffed with Cabrales and an almond and served atop a vinegary endive slaw. James ordered both appetizer and entrée specials, a seafood empanada and polenta topped with scallops and oxtail. We couldn’t find fault with anything we sampled.

I’ll be curious to see how Carniceria shapes up and if the neighborhood takes to it. The Argentine/Spanish menu does seem promising.

Carniceria * 241 Smith St., Brooklyn, NY

Esperanto

Esperanto_ceviche It’s strange that I would end up eating on Avenue C twice in less than a month. When I was on my way to Cafecito, I was thinking how no one I know lives in the East Village anymore. The only current residents I could come up with were a friend’s old boyfriend and current datee. And as it turns out, the old boyfriend who had a room barely big enough for a twin bed is finally moving (to Williamsburg, duh). I was attending his birthday/going away party, and well, for the time being he lives above Esperanto. Dinner solved.

Esperanto_ancho_orange_tunaI was under the false impression that Esperanto was Cuban but it’s really a mishmash, as evidenced by the name, I suppose (I was just trying to explain what Esperanto was to my Spanish tutor and I swear he thought I was making it up). If anything, it leans towards Brazil. The kale that came with my tuna and cilantro rice was a tip off, and the seafood moqueca  my softening vegetarian friend ordered was full on Bahian. My two other dining companions had red snapper and pork chops, which are broadly pan-Latin. Same went for the ceviche, plantain-crusted goat cheese and mixed tapas starters.

Esperanto_moquecaI wasn’t that hungry, probably because I’d eaten a late lunch of leftover ma la intestines from King 5 in Flushing (I’ll admit there’s something perverse about another’s intestines ultimately being in your intestines) so I was feeling kind of blasé about my food. I did appreciate that my orange-chile sauced tuna really did come out rare—there’s nothing worse than a dry fish wedge. But everyone I was with seemed more than happy with their orders and crowd pleasing is no small feat. Even though the scene was a little frenzied, service was gracious and the food really wasn’t typical late-night dreck designed for an audience more concerned with drinking.

Esperanto_painting_of_esperanto
Plus, you've got to love a place that puts a painting of itself inside the restaurant.

Esperanto * 145 Avenue C, New York, NY

Sock it to Me

BottleUrgh, I lost my other camera sock (apparently, they’re quite popular—I’ve had more than a handful of internet searchers ending up here after Googling camera sock as well ugh this coworker naMED kRISTA, which I find disturbing for its implications and traumatic capitalization), which was probably a direct result of losing track of the number of mint juleps I’d consumed. This is the second year in a row that I’ve overindulged into near oblivion. It must be the convergence of Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo. At least I was smart enough to eschew the Cuervo shots. I can’t resist a good limited edition promotion, though—green wax instead of red on the Maker’s Mark bottle is marketing gold as far as I’m concerned. I can't resist green non-vegetal foodstuffs.

Boca Juniors

1/2 Bocajuniors Ok, I thought the scantily clad waitresses/tiki bar combo at Listo el Pollo was surreal but Boca Juniors is downright nutty. I’ve driven (well, been the passenger) past this color crayon bright corner a million times on the way to Target, and only recently did I get the urge to pay a visit.

You know with Argentine (or Argentinean—both are correct and it drives me crazy that there’s no definitive term) restaurants that you’re going to be eating meat and lots of it. With that in mind, you have to be in the mood and I’m only up for a serious parrillada maybe every couple months. My last foray was Buenos Aires in the East Village back when it was icy out. Now it’s warm enough for a new South American carnivorous adventure.

BruschettaWell, it turned out the food, while surprisingly good, is hardly the focal point. It helps if you know that Boca Juniors are a wildly popular Argentine soccer team and that this is essentially a theme steakhouse. They’ve taken the team’s blue and yellow color scheme to new levels and every square inch of the restaurant including the plates, napkins, walls, carpets as well as the waitstaffs’ shiny track suits. I was most impressed by the mulleted visage, which I’m guessing belongs to a prominent player (I don’t even know my Mets and Yankees so recognition was futile) etched into the windows.

Ensalada_rusaWe felt we needed to squeeze some vegetables into our meal so we went with potatoes and eggplant, laced with mayonnaise and olive oil respectively. Healthy. Berenjena y ensalada rusa, to be precise. The Italian influence I’m aware of, the Russian bit not so much though “Russian salads” seem to make an appearance in widely diverse cuisine.

MixedgrillI’m the only one who’ll eat blood sausage and strangely, I’m not fond of regular pork sausage. So, both dark tubes are mine and James gets the other two. I couldn’t even finish a whole one, though. You don’t always get intestines so that was a chewy surprise. After eating a couple of those, a few bites of sweetbreads and the strip of steak, I was done in. Just a steak would’ve been fine but I like picking at the odd bits, just not enough to order an entire plate of them. I made a slightly overpowering chimichurri the following night to eat the leftovers with. I was trying to be light-handed with the olive oil but the garlic does need tempering.

PanquequeI didn’t realize the panqueque would be crepes, despite the word pancake implying as much. The layer cake from San Antonio Bakery (I know, Chilean not Argentine) is called pancake and filled with dulce de leche and that’s what I was thinking of. But the crepes were pretty amazing because they were also sprinkled with granulated sugar and broiled, creating a crispy crème brule style effect.

UmbrellasWe were about to leave when the lights dimmed and most employees began gathering in the back near the bar with enormous blue and yellow umbrellas. I was like oh, it must be a birthday. Then the giant blue and yellow umbrellas came out. WTF? Staccato music was flipped on that could only be described as a fight song. With the exception of one diner who looked angry and disgusted by the disruption, many were clapping or waving napkins. Umbrella twirlers began parading between the tables, half-size soccer balls were given to kids. For pointless noise and excitement (yet, sadly no ice cream—though they did have a dessert called Don Pedro, which I think was something icy topped with brandy) it certainly beats Farrell’s. Plus, you can’t eat intestines at Farrell’s.

Boca Juniors * 8108 Queens Blvd., Elmhurst, NY

One Show at a Time

You know how Mork would occasionally (ok, maybe it was once) show up on Happy Days for no good reason? And I’m pretty sure Laverne & Shirley crossed over too despite the shows being set in different decades. It was misguided and wrong, characters need to stay in their own settings. I recently experienced the foodie equivalent.

Eh, I guess there wasn’t any time travel/messing with eras in this circumstance. Maybe it was more like when you were a kid and you’d see your teacher at the grocery store. That was always unsettling. It was getting late, a little past midnight on a Sunday and I was trying to prepare for a new Monday earlier rise. We were watching a recording of One Plate at a Time and Rick Bayless was in the Yucatan talking about his friend Jacques and how he has a condo in Playa del Carmen and great things happen when Jacques around, and I was like who is this Jacques douche. And then Rick answered my question, "Jacques is, well he’s your other favorite public television chef, Jacques Pepin."

Baylesspepin

WTF?! I seriously thought I was hallucinating. I'm not sure if it was because I was tired, but this was seriously the most laugh out loud funny thing I'd seen on TV in a long time. Jacques is supposed to be in Connecticut cooking fast food his way, not wearing a tunic and a dude necklace and eating nopales. The cross-breeding was just bizarre. I almost expected Ming Tsai, who’s also fond of the dude necklace, to show up call everyone “guys” and work some east meets west magic with black beans and fermented black beans. Ok, now I’m totally being a public television food geek.

I've never associated Bayless with Pepin, though a commonality is that they both have/had shows and books where they cook with their red-headed daughters—no one seems to remember Cooking with Claudine from the mid-‘90s. Somehow both One Plate at a Time and Fast Food My Way have developed into our favorite DVRd food picks, though. I’d never thought about Pepin one way or the other, but James is hooked on his show and I’ve been getting sucked in. I was never crazy about Rick Bayless either, we kind of started watching him as a joke because he's so stonerish, but his grown up hippy style has grown on us and now I’m gung ho on going to Mexico.

Hope Things Turn Around for U Soon

News006c A Tuesday New York Post with some Braunstein nonsense on the cover has been sitting on my coffee table for a few days but it wasn’t until this afternoon that I actually scrutinized it. Despite being home sick, I was filled with vim and vigor after eyeballing the photo of his victim’s mirror that he had scrawled on before leaving.

“BYE – HOPE THINGS TURN AROUND FOR U SOON” written on a mirror (the same cheapo mirror/medicine cabinet that I have and also had at my previous dwelling. I think 90% of NYC apartments have that tri-paneled, ugly thing with white trim) after chloroforming and performing unseemly acts for 13 hours is like the funniest, flippest thing I’ve ever seen. So upbeat, and a great sentiment for many situations, big and small.

The caring message could apply to high profile crap like the mean daddy Baldwin call or the Virginia Tech rampage or it could be used to smooth over asinine NYC-centric problems.  “Sorry you were outbid on a condo—bye, hope things turn around for u soon,” sorry you’re 41 and can’t conceive, sorry you can’t get a table at Waverly Inn. Or better yet, sorry your mom died because the crowds at Waverly Inn blocked her ambulance. Braunstein’s the new Hallmark.

Kristall Clear

Img_pear_2 I love to eat but I don’t really love weekday lunch. At my relatively still new job people make use of their full hour and aren’t big desk eaters. That’s wise, I’m trying to get there. I’m simply a desk eater because I can’t deal with crowds and the 12-2 crush raises my blood pressure (for real—I’d like to believe this study mentioned in the NY Times last week about dark chocolate being as effective as beta blockers in controlling blood pressure. They specifically mentioned atenolol, which is what I take because I seem to have the health level of a sedentary middle-aged man who has smoked and eaten red meat his entire life).

I just ran across the street to grab a bagel at Au Bon Pain who doesn’t make even remotely good bagels but there aren’t a lot of options around Broad and Beaver streets. It’s always frenzied and I start getting all distracted and unable to make a decision and thought I should get a seltzer because I was getting tired of the tap water I’d been lugging around in a Poland Springs bottle (I usually get a couple weeks out of each bottle before I start worrying about germs). I didn’t see any club soda so I blindly grabbed an inoffensive, clear, sparkling pear beverage in a glass bottle. I was a little bummed to realize it contained sugar after I sat down but it was fairly light and more fruity, plus, how often do you find a pear soda?

I attempted to read about the faux gastro pub craze in New York and tried not to let the bustling around me bug me out (why do I have beta blockers when I really need tranquilizers?). It wasn’t until I got back to the office that I realized my name was in the Swedish brand of all natural fruit soda.

I know, big deal if your name is John or something but I’ve never been blessed with namesake anything, (though in Budget Travel I discovered a Buenos Aires boutique hotel called Krista) not even things meant to be personalized. I even see Krystal, which seems unusual, more than Krista. Off the top of my head, there are burgers, a Filipino (one of the other Krista Garcias in the world is a teenager in the Philippines) mini chain in NYC (hmm, looks like they just closed their Manhattan branch) and a new bar I just noticed Saturday on Queens Blvd.

So now I love Kristall soda even though I normally hate soda. Oh my god, I just found out something horrifying about Kristall: they also produce a beverage called Julmust. I have no idea how it tastes, but with hops and malt extract listed it sounds suspiciously close to my least favorite foodstuff in the universe that I just mentioned yesterday, malta. Kristall clearly has a dark side.