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Posts from the ‘Textual Selfie’ Category

New, not Necessarily Improved

As anti-blog as I've been, I must come to terms with the fact that the '00s are already more than half over and that there's no going back web-wise. I love making and reading little rickety pages from scratch, but I suspect that I'm in the minority. I've just started seeing the charm in posting pointless photos and pics and now that's passé. It's all about video, apparently. Or is there some brand new medium that's so now that like a hologram appears in your physical space and provides you with content…or maybe the post somehow just beams straight into your mind. Who needs the internet at all?

Do I want to be like the humans on Invasion who keep futilely fighting the hybrid evolution? (I can't believe I just made a TV reference like that, but I loved it on the finale when Larkin, the world's skinniest pregnant woman, got shot and tossed in the water. And now I hear there are no plans for another season. What the fuck? All three spooky shows that debuted last fall–Threshold, Surface and Invasion-have gotten the boot.)

My point is that I just converted my chatty, not thoroughly insightful dining diary that I can't stop doing (babies are now coming out of the womb texting and reflecting over their last meal, but I still can't stop adding to the noise, it's a weird compulsion), Shovel Time, over to Type Pad. It's not like it's a heavily read website anyway, but it drove me insane that everything I wrote took forever to show up in search engines if it showed up at all. My voice will be heard, dammit. Oh, it's still a work in progress–the formatting is off, images are missing, the search seems to be broken. It's all really just one more distraction to keep me from actually trying to do important potentially scary things with my life.

Sundays & Sundaes

Sundays suck, they've always sucked, and the older I get the more they seem to suck. There's just something dreary about a Sunday. As a kid, I remember them being gray and rainy and the tv shows were bad, no cartoons, all current events, sports or depressing fare like Grizzly Adams (the wistful folky theme song; the premise, a man on the run for crime he didn't commit; the era, 1970s masquerading as 1850s —so downtrodden and dirty). Obviously, this was pre cable tv or internet. I read in bed a lot during the afternoon. Now, I have other distractions, but there's still something dread-filled about a Sunday. I don't understand the whole "having a case of the Mondays" (what a poignant phrase) because by Monday you're already in the thick of it. Sunday you have a whole day to dwell on the awfulness of the impending week. Saturday I wake up no problem, but Sunday I often lay in bed well past noon, not really tired, but reluctant to get up because it means the weekend's end is drawing near and it's too much to bear. Melodrama aside, it's true. Motivation is tough even though it tends to be sunny in NYC. (Sometimes music helps—I'm very keen on the Envelopes today)

Redhookhuarache Today was balmy enough, and it was the opening weekend for the soccer and food stand extravaganza in Red Hook. I mean, it's only about a 12-minute walk from my apt. and it's not like you can get a decent taco anywhere in BoCoCa (oh, yes I did). After one massive huarache, I was done. I could've squeezed in an arepa, but didn't want to go overboard as I'm known to do.

The word huarache is amusing to me because if you recall huaraches, the sandals, were popular somewhere in the '80s. And my dad who had like zero accent (he would occasionally put the emphasis on the wrong syllable, but that's about it) would pronounce huarache with an insane amount of precision and Spanish flair. You know, like when newscasters speak standard English and then call Chile chee-lay. Every time my dad would theatrically say hurache, my sister and I would bust a gut and try and find ways to work the word into conversations just to get him to say it again.

Redhookmango Instead of going the more meat and corn route, I went wild and bought a baggie of fruit, which is very unlike myself because I rarely eat fruit. Nature's candy (what a crock) just doesn't do it for me, I have to force myself to eat it (I bought a bag of tangerines yesterday with the notion that I'll bring them to work as healthy snacks, but I see that lasting about one day). But I love the Mexican style of preparing mangos, which is actually very Thai right down serving the slices in a plastic baggie with disposable fork (dispensing beverages this same way, but with a straw, seems very precarious, however. See random person's photo for example). They sprinkle the fruit with salt, chile powder and lime juice (actually the Red Hook vendor used bottled lemon juice, but same idea) and you get that crazy salty/sweet/spicy effect. It's almost like you're not even eating fruit, which is a plus in my book.

So, my Sunday afternoon was tolerable but now it's starting to get dark out and night time means Monday is mere hours away and that's a hideous thought. At least I have some leftovers from yesterday's Sripraphai excursion to look forward to later. It's not a good thing when food is the only exciting part of your day (my cat is the same way. Do you think pets get their owners' personalities? Like Caesar, James's cat, is kind of prickly, keeps to himself and is not one for idle chit chat. The cat won't meow to save his life. Sukey, my cat, is talkative and constantly meowing and complaining and is obsessed with eating. In fact, she's starting to get a feline gut)…or life, for that matter.

Shoes and Forks

Bigfoot I'm a sucker for cheap, cute flats. Yeah, they're flimsy and slapped together with weird synthetic non-leather. That doesn’t bug me. What does is the weirdo sizing. I can't figure out why shoes of this ilk are generally available in whole and half sizes from 6-9, and then a 10. Of course I wear a 9 1/2. A 9 squeezes my foot and gives me blisters. I often end up buying a 10, but the back won't stay on and I get foot cramps from squeezing my toes to keep the shoes from falling off while walking fast or going up stairs. I'm trying to figure out the logic that would have them make shoes up to a 10 and make half sizes all the way up to 9, then stop and jump up a whole size. Of course, the sensible solution would be to buy higher quality shoes that fit, but why the hell should I have to?

Completely non-related, but I'm not into seperate posts per topic:

Is it PR or just good luck when a new restaurant opens in a relatively isolated (yet rapidly hipifying) corner of the city and instantly get tons of press? I can’t count (well, I could but I’m busy with more serious things at the moment) the number of times I’ve seen The Good Fork mentioned in the past two weeks. Last week it got the New York underground gourmet treatment, today it was $25 and under in The New York Times. I hit it up last week, primarily because it’s near my apt., and was like what’s the big deal? It was certainly likable, but not any more than lots of other likable places. People are just fixated on Red Hook lately.

I will say that I’m quite stoked (yes, I said stoked—that’s how freakin’ stoked I am!) for the mysterious Fairway that was slated for spring 2006. It’s going to be great, a huge real grocery store that’s nearly impossible to reach via the subway. A paradise for the local riffraff and intrepid shoppers.

Please Keep off the Grass

Corndog To the person who found my site from searching "hi fi grotto corndogs": I love you (or not, out of curiosity I ran a simpler search on hi fi grotto and got only two hits, a freaky My Space guy and another posting on America's #1 Conservative Community). Weirdly, I didn't find my site at all using those keywords so I'm not clear how the original searcher got here from Google, though I am very familiar with Grotto corn dogs.

I swear I've written about The Grotto before, though I can't seem to find any evidence of it. It was (and likely still is-it's listed on Yahoo yellow pages) a dumpy little food shack across the street from Gresham High where all the stoners hung out because it wasn't school property and you could smoke out front. I was never a druggie, nor a rocker, but I did smoke, so yes, I'd often be hanging out front of the Grotto at lunch (though not usually before school, which was for the more hardcore).

Everyone called it The Grotto (which isn't to be mistaken with this Grotto, which will come up frequently if you search Gresham and Grotto) but there was a leftover '60s style sign on the side of the building that said Hi Fi Grotto, perhaps its official name. I don't recall if there was a sign in front or if it was even a proper restaurant. I'm not sure if it was even open during the evening, and it's not like non-school related adults ever set foot near there. It wasn't like Arnold's on Happy Days, there were a few seats, but most people would bring food back to the cafeteria. And while it was fronted by metal-heads, all social strata ate there. It was run by an older woman who had lots of dated signs plastered everywhere that said things like "please keep off the grass." I don't know that '80s teens even were hip to that pot lingo.

At some point, a Christian guy who had kids who attended our school, bought the place and tried to reach out to troubled teens. Once I even got dragged there after-hours (that answers my question as to whether it was open at night) to some group counseling thing by a friend who had to attend a session. It was like AA for kids. I didn't need to be counseled, I was raised pretty straight-laced, but my pals tended to be types with alcoholic and/or problem parents (now that I think about it, one friend's mom died of a heroin overdose and another's mom had shot herself in the head, but didn't die and as a result had a glass eye and strange vocal chord inhibited voice) or drug problems of their own, and I would tagalong to their creepy shit like this (as well as get talked into driving to scary houses in the woods to buy drugs, despite not being much of a partaker).

The Grotto owner gave this friend a job selling sheet music at his piano store, and I do recall dropping her off once and that she had to snort crystal meth before heading in and told me I could chew the bag if I wanted (obviously, his attempts at employing her, trying to give her religion and making an upstanding citizen out of her weren't working too well).

Anyway, I never ate a Grotto corndog because they've always made me queasy (I also don't eat hotdogs, which people find hard to believe since I'm a junk food nut)  but I was very fond of their super-fried fries with special sauce that was likely just ketchup and mayonnaise. But I'm glad to see there's someone out there with nostalgia for Grotto cuisine.

Up With Gramps

Contid Last night I noticed the hideous "Up With Grups" cover of the current New York with the aging hipsters who won't grow up feature story. All those guys in hoodies with messenger bags made me feel a little queasy for reasons unknown (it's not like I'm attracted to that genre of men–it's doubtful anyone I've ever gone out with even knows who Death Cab for Cutie is, and they're pretty mainstream now, right? Ok, hold on, I'll check. Me to James: "Have you ever heard of a band called Death Cab for Cutie?" James: "I have no idea what the fuck that means." No lie). I'm not getting any younger, I stay vaguely in touch with what's cool…could they be writing about me?

The funny thing was that the label was addressed to the most unlikely tenant in the building, the cranky middle aged, non-hip, black woman who lives on the top floor and is always ordering things from Newport News (um, which I've been known to order from a few times despite 97% of their merchandise being frightening. Can wearing a Newport News bathing suit–yes, I said bathing suit–grant me immunity from present or future alterna-yuppie status?). But then, isn't NY Mag made for people not in the know to become up on trends that aren't really trends?

I actually like her when she picks battles that I agree with like the eyesore strollers near the front door, our door (it's beyond nasty baby buggies, but included [I use the past tense because I just realized the mess currently just consists of the stroller-I wonder if that was a self-directed clean up effort or the result of complaints to the landlord. I hate conflict so internally seethed rather than making fuss, and this just upset the NY Mag lady because she doesn't want to look like the crazy whiner in the building and told me I should say something too. I'm not sure I'm ready to cross over to her side yet] piles of books, toys and records-total grup taste, too. I saw their iTunes and it was filled with hipster lullabies. We promptly put a security code on our wireless network, though not before downloading a few choice numbers. There's only one baby in the building so the multiple strollers is a bit much. Do you think people would object if I started going upstairs and storing crap like old air conditioners, clothes I'm too lazy to hang up, or bottles of duplicate spices [I've got like three cinnamons and nutmegs] in the hall?), but not so much when they affect me like her wanting to put a bench in front of our ground floor window. I didn't want to see her ass at eye level every time I opened up the curtains for a view and that rubbed her the wrong way.

I didn't want to read the article, then today I was like fuck it. And then I was almost relieved, because it wasn't about me at all. It just reaffirmed what I've always known. There are too many clueless people making too much money in NYC, and babies are adorable props for said people to make statements with. I don't wear $450 jeans or limited edition sneakers (I'm not even allowed to wear jeans or tennis shoes at my non-creative, non VP job-apparently, grups are highly successful but hate how corporate they've become). I missed the whole mid-20s flashy internet job, so consequently haven't moved up in any ladder in my 30s. It's hard to identify with throwing away a career to be free when there's not much I can toss in the garbage.

But that's all fine. The only thing that rankled me was the bit on the last page about passion. Passion is a pet peeve. Like only creative people have passions. Only they act on their passions because they have a cushion. A financial cushion they, or more likely their family, may have amassed, the cushion that comes with knowing that said family would assist or bail you out if necessary. Being raised to think anyone would give a shit about your personal passions, that acting on fancies would even be a viable option.

As if being passionate is a generational thing, Gen X in this case. Passion is about having the security to follow you whim, i.e. touring Japanese textile factories in search of rare ultimate denim or tasting obscure native pods in the Amazon. Passion realized stems from class and education. This background makes denying suit-wearing 9-5 role models, feel like an act of rebellion.

My dad didn't even own a suit or a tie, and I never saw him out of a pair of jeans. He did manual labor his whole life and then he died. So, I'll rebel against the grind and shitty hard work for the sake of working hard. But I don't have to prove anything by being in the know, liberal or perpetually youthful. Just going to college at all or being single and childless in my 30s is enough to stray from what my path of least resistance could be (my 19-year-old cousin just got engaged a few weeks ago. As the oldest grandchild in our family by a long shot, I've always wondered how long it would take before someone started reproducing. Even my 31-year-old sister who's going on marriage number two this summer hasn't gone there. The kid thing has been a tough sell for us. Thank god for no sex before marriage cousins who are old enough to tie the knot–the family line [well, my mom's side] will live on).

MeTube

Sausage I wouldn't blame anyone for not noticing, but astute readers might've observed that this site isn't what it used to be. I'm in the process of merging together my newish Goodies First and my oldie but a goodie Project Me into one bonanza of a self-indulgent blog. It just started seeming silly to keep them separate because essentially food is me (literally, my torso’s a bratwurst and my appendages are ham hocks). Talking about myself and talking about edible topics are too intertwined. 2006 is all about streamlining and embracing change.

But using blog software as opposed to '90s hand coding is about as modern as I get. Don't expect any podcasts, moblogging, or copious links to YouTube videos (did I like miss the memo about mandatory YouTube mentions? It seems that in the past month the entire universe has gone nuts for this shit. Last year I was similarly baffled by Flickr mania) any time soon.

Baby, I Can’t Wait

The last Urban Outfitters catalog that found its way into my mail pile spazzed me out by the rampant showcasing of leggings and stirrup pants. I eventually calmed down, the dismay faded from memory. Until last night when I got home after eating at Sigiri, a newish Sri Lankan restaurant in the East Village (black curry and hoppers rule) and observed that a new Urban Outfitters catalog was waiting for me in the foyer. Ok, lately I've been super tired and lazy at night, so I could be mistaken, but I swear one of the photos had a girl holding a Nu Shooz record. Not "Poolside," but possibly a 12" single because the art looks very much the same (but to be fair, lots of art from that era resembles each other). I can't be bothered to find my old entry (which could soon be rectified–look for a totally revamped website in the next few weeks) but I know that I've mentioned this Portland one-hit-wonder more than once, if only because it tidily sums up all that I loathe about recycled pop culture. When the kids start turning to a forgotten-for-a-reason NW band for fun and inspiration, you know the world is in big trouble. I didn't actually bother to look up album art last night when I had the catalog near me (I don't currently) because I was tired and have ADD, but don't think I'll forget. This will be rectified this evening, believe, me.

Ok, record geeks. I found the offending Urban Outfitters catalog online, but the image is tiny so you have to drag the "close up" magnifying square over the 12" in the foreground. The more I dwell on this, the more I doubt that it's Nu Shooz, after all. So then, what record is it?

Counter Intelligence

Hey, look at me. I had a real vs. fake food story in yesterday's NY Post.  And I'm not one to care much about being edited, but I will say that I would never use the word succulent. Just so you know, the word succulent didn't come from my keyboard. Thank you for allowing me clear that up.

Short Months are Still Too Long

I must be paying the price for staying home Fri. when I was only mildly sick. Now I'm sick for real and already used up a valuable day. That'll teach me. I'm sure you are all dying to know what I did for Valentine's Day. James took me out to Pampano, which was perfectly nice (though I had issues because it's just down the street from my office and I'm very anti-midtown east these days). But it was kind of overshadowed by our impromptu dinner at Blue Hill at Stone Barns, the Sunday before President's Day. My short notice Tarrytown excursion was totally fun, and I took lots of pointless photos (I'm going to turn into one of those annoying photo bloggers, even worse foodie photo blogger, if I don't watch it) but I haven't had a chance to write it up (ha, but I did manage to find the time to blab about Cosmetic Show, this crazy mess of a store I just found. Priorities you know). I know that's older than old now, but I'm just here on Tues. getting a chance to sort out what I did nearly a week and a half ago. I will say that I ate a shit load of Cuban food last week for an article I turned in today. Phew. I think I'm free to just write about minutiae and myself for now. Feb. was all like that. March had better not be or I'm going to end up doing something rash.

Where do Crunchwraps Fit in?

Things have been quiet around here because I’ve been mulling over a new web venture. Ha, that sounds much bolder than intended. I simply mean revamping and focusing my many errant webpages/blogs floating around the internets.

In the mean time, I pose a question/ask for help from any participatory NYC based readers: does anyone have strong opinions on quintessentially authentic Latin American food items (and their fake Americanized counterparts) at restaurants around the city? I’m researching things like American thick, chunky guacamole versus what you’d get in Mexico,which is thin and saucy. Crunchy tacos compared to soft corn tortilla versions. You get the idea. Any input is welcome.