In Other Words: What Do McNuggets and Head Lice Have in Common?
Non-shockingly, the New York Times’s dining editor doesn’t frequent McDonald’s with his kids and claims minimal television watching in his household. But when five-year-old Dexter, a budding mixologist who sleeps with vegetables instead of stuffed animals, starts hearing schoolyard rumors about the Golden Arches, Pete Wells acquiesces and they pay a visit (notably when his wife is out of town because Park Slope moms don’t allow such folly?)
And no, the world didn’t fall apart despite the cooking oil for the fries and McNuggets containing dimethylpolysiloxane, “…used as a lubricant, a dry-cleaning solution, an aquarium sealant, a component of the tiles that let spacecraft plunge through the atmosphere without burning up, a treatment for head lice and the thing that makes Silly Putty elastic.”
In the end, father and son make a tastier, more caloric fried fruit pie at home. (Strangely, I’ve never liked fast food fruit pies or the Hostess versions. My dad was the only one in the family who ever ate them. But now I’m totally dying for a fried pear pie, though I would work caramel in somehow.) And the most memorable part of the experience according to Dexter was the Hot Wheels car that came with the Happy Meal.
As I’ve often said, chains are about more than the food.
I used to eat Hostess Fruit Pies religiously growing up…I think the cloying sweetness would really gross me out in that form now.
slocker: Urgh, yeah, I hated those pies. I think it’s because I never liked fruit as a kid. What I did love were the pudding filled pies Hostess had in the ’80s. They might still make them for all I know. Speaking of things dads do when moms aren’t around, that would be pudding pies from gas stations. My mom would never let us eat crap like that but my dad would always buy us candy and junk.
Boneless wings? I’ve never had the chicken at Wendy’s. I did go through a Wendy’s salad phase a few years ago.
I was a fan of the Dolly Madison pies, chiefly because I loved “Peanuts”. I still get a hankering every so often for a Hostess blackberry or a lemon pie, I must admit…
lisa: I think Dolly Madison and Hostess both come from the same bakery conglomerate. Maybe Drake’s too. I love Dolly Madison Zingers.