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Lazy-Assed Sides & Squeezes

The world has gone squeeze crazy. Remember when French’s mustard was the only thing in a squishy bottle? Now every condiment comes ready to ooze through a little opening. I guess the point is that you don’t need a knife? Maybe it’s a messy kid thing? I don’t care for the thickness that a squeezed trail of anything leaves on my food, so I just end up having to spread it out with a knife anyway. Now Pillsbury has Treat Toppers Squeeze Frosting because apparently it was too hard to get the readymade stuff from little plastic tub to cake surface. I like novelty, but this product isn’t for people like me.

Also on the weirdo convenience/laziness front are Country Crock Side Dishes. Really, how hard is it to mash potatoes? I don’t have a family to feed, but still, I think I could handle the challenge of macaroni and cheese or rice from scratch. But it doesn’t stop with the sides, the Meals in Minutes brochure shows you how to craft whole meals around prepared foods. Yum, London broil seasoned with Knorr Recipe Classics Roasted Garlic Herb Dip, green beans with Shedd’s Spread, store bought apple pie with Breyer’s vanilla ice cream, Lipton ice tea, and of course Country Crock Side Dishes Homestyle Mashed Potatoes.

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