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Homogenize Me, Please

Ok, they treat women and minorities unfairly, kill small business, ruin the character of neighborhoods, are taking over the world and promote fat disgusting American values. But c'mon, they're cheap, and fun. Who else still has a notions section with fabric, yarn, buttons and craft supplies, and also sells hunting equipment and fake Dr. Pepper (Dr. Thunder) for 35 cents a can in vending machines? No one, that's who.

The world's going to hell in a hand basket, so why not save some money and revel in aisle after nice wide aisle of freedom of choice while you can. And don't tell me New Yorkers truly love overpaying for crap bodega and dusty drug store shit that you have to ask for from behind the grimy counter. If that's keeping it real, you can keep it.

Plus, Wal-Mart is the only store in the U.S. to sell Rimmel and Mary Kate and Ashley cosmetics. Talk about exclusive. And Wal-Mart in China is insane because they have food (I think they do in parts of the U.S. too), deli cases filled with tendons, organ meat and spicy marinated odds and ends. I would kill for that here, though we'd probably just get Boboli and Smucker's Uncrustables.

Not in my backyard, they say. That's just because New Yorkers don?t know what they're missing and like to think they're unique. I?ll be the first to admit I?m not special. Wal-Mart come homogenize my city, please.

Wal-Mart * everywhere except NYC

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