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Deprived or Depraved?

Newtarget_1 Um, I can't even talk about Target anymore. The plain people's opening was just too traumatizing. Sunday, on my real birthday, I braved the new Atlantic Terminal mall opening. Jesus Christ. Actually it was almost exactly as harrowing as I'd anticipated. No celebrities, just lots of face painting (why do people equate painting children's' faces with celebratory fun?), a woman dressed like a princess, guys dressed like ringmasters on stilts, girls dressed like newsies (my personal favorite), a scrawny guy in a Spiderman costume who'd pose with kids for polaroids, and a band of guys playing steel drums. I only lasted about 20 minutes before succumbing to claustrophobia, it was shoulder-to-shoulder human traffic.

Targeter_1 Are people really this chain store deprived? Actually, shopping wasn't even a realistic option because maneuvering a cart or gaining access to shelves was impossible with all the gawking. Ooh, Advil. Dog food…wow, never seen that before. And I'm a little nervous because we did survey the Chuck E. Cheese's on the top floor and there was a line wrapped around a bunch of velveteen ropes inside and went all the way out the door.

For the dirty Chuck E. Cheese's scoop, look no further.

Target * 139 Flatbush Ave., Brooklyn, NY

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