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Does Anyone Really Eat Ribbon Candy?

Strange haul

Whenever James returns from visiting his parents in Northern Virginia I get scared. When returning from trips related to a gift-giving event such as Christmas or a birthday, I become even more frightened. I have a low tolerance for useless crap and clutter. If I had my way, it wouldn't enter the front door because once it has crossed the threshold you know it's stuck in the apartment for life (or until I move).

It's one thing to lug home lamps and potholders sourced from stores like Home Goods or the back section of Marshalls that looks just like Home Goods, but in some ways the oddball cast off food is even worse. Monday night I was faced with the following:

¾ of a white fruit-topped cake from Giant (I tried a slice because I can't resist desserts in the house and the damn thing was 85% whipped cream, 10% dry cake, 5% flavorless fruit…so disappointing)
2 packages of Oscar Meyer bacon
4 pounds of powdered sugar (have you ever heard of Holly brand?)
2 bananas
1 Chick-fil-A spicy chicken sandwich
1 Chick-fil-A waffle fries
1 packages of Vortman sugar free Almondette cookies
1 bag of Barcel pork rinds (a Mexican brand)
1 2.25 pound bag of Sun Maid raisins
1 bottle of V8
1 tray of Costco sweet rolls
1 pound of Costco butter
6 assorted Kashi TLC bars
18 extra large eggs
1 bag of stale looking cookies with lots of German and Russian words (The only English reads Ginger “Lux” cookies. These look to be a product of Moldova imported to Brighton Beach. I imagine these were purchased during a trip to Brooklyn, forgotten about, and now repatriated.
1 box of hard ribbon candy (about as foul a treat as candy corn, but it certainly is pretty)

So many abnormal sizes and peculiar brands, half probably past their expiration dates. EVen my cat is baffled. One would say that this bounty definitely provides a window into the psyche of the givers.

I was happy for the Chick-fil-A items, though, since those were specifically bought for me somewhere in Maryland. Now that I look at it, most of the non-sweet items are useful. I'm still not touching the unappealing cookies, candy, cake or the powdered sugar. I can't even recall the last time I used confectioner's sugar and I don't see any glazing or frosting in my future either. If only I could go a little re-gifting of my own.

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  1. Hey, looks like goodies to me … well mostly. The Mexican chicharones could be a find, if they are fresh.

    Holly Sugar has plants in California; they mainly produce for the food service industry. Confectioners sugar tastes the same as regular sugar, it’s just ground finer. They put in a tiny amount of corn starch (3%) to keep it from caking, so it looks a little cloudy when dissolved. I had some extra confectioner’s sugar and used it in canning.

    Ribbon candy comes in different flavors, with cinnamon and clove traditional. Clove may be a problem for some. It also is made with peppermint and other flavors. I like ribbon candy.


    November 23, 2010
  2. Roy: I’m glad to hear someone likes ribbon candy. I was just eating a piece of fruitcake and wondering why everyone hates it so much.

    November 24, 2010

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