Skip to content

Gambrinus

gambrinus quad

twoshovelI suspect that much of Gambrinus’ appeal stems from being able to sit outside, drink vodka and smoke rather than being related to the Russian restaurant’s swashbuckling theme or the food. The indoor bar is fashioned to look like a boat–and so is the exterior–so peering in from outer porthole window has the potential to suck you into a maritime-themed vortex. For good measure, the male servers wear sailor suits.

gambrinus exterior

It was still warm enough for the picnic tables when I went and that’s where every patron was clustered. I’m also not so sure that it’s a seafood restaurant, despite the full name, Gambrinus Seafood Bar and Restaurant, and the eight different fish involved in the entrees. Soups, grilled meats and potato dishes seemed to get more play.

gambrinus fish platter

Unintentionally, I ended up with three dishes, all appetizers technically, sharing many common ingredients. The assorted cured fish platter with salmon and sturgeon was good, and a concession because they didn’t have all of the meats for the meat platter.

gambrinus seafood blintzes

If there’s a menu section called “dough entrees,” it can’t be ignored. That’s how I ended up with seafood blintzes filled with shrimp, fake crab and cream sauce. People witnessing my broadcast on social media seemed to think this gross, which wasn’t true at all. There’s nothing problematic about dairy paired with seafood, and krab is legit.

gambrinus salad

The “subtlety” salad was in a similar vein, including smoked salmon, roe, and a form of thousand island dressing that was not all that subtle.

gambrinus piano

The benefit of the now cold weather is that the piano player won’t be so alone.

Gambrinus * 3100 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn, NY

 

 

 

 

Eaten, Barely Blogged: Good Burger, Bad Burger, BBQ

elm brunch trio

At The Elm there were a lot of empty tables during the brunch Sunday (and I was still told preemptively  that I couldn’t be seated until my full party showed up, even though I didn’t ask to). What gives? I’ve generally considered myself as a member of the opposition in the war on brunch, but I wanted to try that burger. It’s two dollars cheaper during brunch ($16) than dinner , which I suppose is pricey (remember when $12 burgers used to spazz people out?) but more than ok because it’s one of those special, thick, aged like a steak patties, medium-rare without asking, juicy enough to soak through the bottom of the brioche bun if you chit chat too much while eating. The dinner menu says white cheddar while the brunch one says comte–whether different meals actually demand different cheeses or if the two menus are out of synch is a good question. Frankly, I don’t even remember the cheese because the meat blend was so dominant. The pickled onions and tomato confit were a nice touch, though. The fries were real fries (see below) which is the best one can hope for. You could also have an omelet or lobster benedict.

red robin western bbq burger

Red Robin I hate to say this as a chain apologist, but Red Robin is just sort of off. Both of my adult experiences, the latest being at the new Staten Island mall location to visit the recently opened Uniqlo and to take advantage of a housewarming gift card (thanks, by the way) for the house I no longer live in, have done nothing to persuade me. (Last time there was glitter in my ice.) In every way, it’s the anti-Elm burger. You can’t have it cooked less than medium and it doesn’t matter because the patty is too thin anyway. The bun and toppings are all you taste, and this particular burger comes with mayonnaise despite already being dressed with bbq sauce, which shouldn’t be allowed. The most distressing aspect of this restaurant’s M.O., though, is the bottomless fries premise because they’re steak fries and what kind of monster could or would want to serving after serving of soft, mealy potato slabs? When considering this offering, paying $6.50 more at The Elm feels like a true bargain. I did like the pretzel bites with cheese sauce even if they tasted inexplicably like peanut butter.

rookery scotch eggThe Rookery Even as New Nordic flourishes seep into all corners of the culinary world, gastropubs persist. I managed to eat two scotch egg renditions in a single week without even realizing it (more on Alder, which I’m not calling a gastropub, later).  More pub than gastro, The Rookery has a small menu with West Indian tweaks like curried goat in the shepherd’s pie and oxtail used for sloppy joes, however the egg is fairly straightforward with some bitter greens for balance. Order it and the sweet and sour brussels sprouts (with the rashers, of course) which are spicy more than sweet or sour.

Hometown Bar-B-Q It could’ve been the lateness (is 9:30pm late?) or the brutal chill (it was coat-wearing temperature even in the restaurant) but I was surprised by the lack of patrons on a weeknight. The brisket was very good, both crusty and just fatty enough to freak out the lean brisket-lovers (I know you exist, but why?). I wish I had ordered more of the beef than the pork ribs because a pound is a lot for two people, pink with a perfect smoke ring or not.  I’ve never been able to capture bbq adequately with a smartphone; the all-brown food is always set atop a brown piece of paper on a tray that’s on a brown wood table, creating a dark reddish mud-toned photo that only a Martha Stewart would be comfortable sharing online.

 

 

That’s BREE-osh to You

According to USA Today, unlike those white bread boomers, millennials are demanding “unconventional bread options” for their burgers, and fast food chains are happy to comply.

“For those who can’t pronounce the word, it’s BREE-osh, a light, slightly sweet French bread that’s made with milk, eggs and a rich yeast dough.”

The beauty of being part of a generation that slacked so hard we ceased to exist, at least to marketers, is that no one gives a rat’s ass if I eat my burger on a multigrain bun, Hawaiian bread bun, chipotle-studded bun, pretzel bun or even on brioche, however the youngsters pronounce it.

“Millennials need to have something that says who they are — uniquely them. The more unique the better — hold the raisins.”

I could also eat raisin bread and not let it define me. Or maybe even Craisins, a dried, sweetened cranberry introduced by Ocean Spray in 1993, likely to target boomer moms rather than Gen Xers hitting their peak sell-to-me years. Craisins are pronounced like cranberry minus the ranberry plus raisin.

 

))<>((

While the Time debacle was sucking up everybody’s attention yesterday, a most important (highly unrelated) tidbit was overlooked: the teen from Me and You and Everyone We Know is a chef?

Allumette

As beautiful as the food at Alumette looks, I would have a hard time not thinking of pooping back and forth forever while eating it.

 

Photo: Tasting Table

The Week in International Intrigue: Ping Pong, Pizza Hat, Philly Steaks

mash donald's

Remember when Susan Sarandon got all into ping pong and opened SPiN with her super-young boyfriend? Now Dubai is having that experience, but with gold-plated tables, naturally.

Those ping-pongers will soon be able to brunch at Clinton Street Baking Company too.

Iranians are master fast food appropriators.

Johnny Rockets has been in Kuwait for 18 years and is continuing its Mideast expansion.

What does anyone know about Belgian food beyond fries and waffles? Soon enough New Yorkers will find out when healthy fast-casual EKKi  shows up in Manhattan. Based on the Facebook page, there will be farro, bowtie pasta and couscous.

Charleys Philly Steaks wants to fill “a void in the Russian market for quality, grilled sandwiches.”

Americans love Costa Rica so it’s not really surprising that the country would get a few Dairy Queens.

Photo: niacinsight.com via Buzzfeed

Cerveceria Havemeyer

twoshovelFor me, Cerveceria Havemeyer, newborn kin of La Superior, has been a bit of a lifesaver.  It fills the same super-close, crowd-pleasing (who doesn’t like Mexican food and margaritas?) free seats on a weekend night niche as Taco Chulo, but with better food and music (someone really likes Thee Oh Sees and The Walkmen).

For you, I don’t know? I would say that if you happened to be in Williamsburg and wanted a good sit-down taco al pastor and a strong drink, this would meet, and maybe even exceed your needs. (The now permanent Brooklyn Taco pop-up inside of Donna also thrives in this Williamsburg-Mex genre, but with more emphasis on the cocktail side and fewer menu options.)

cerveceria haveymeyer taco al pastor

Carne asada and tinga are fine standards, but lesser cuts are sorely lacking in the immediate area. So, in addition to the recommended spit-roasted
pork, it’s nice to see cheeks, tongues and skin also put to use (eaten, but not pictured).

cerveceria haveymeyer volcan

Volcanes are tostadas blanketed in melted cheese (the lava?). Rajas work for that vegetarian friend, but meats can be piled on instead.

cerveceria haveymeyer aguachile

The masa-avoidant can have aguachiles (and ignore the accompanying basket of tortilla chips) which are a less lime-marinated ceviche. The shrimp version with truly raw seafood, no firming or pinkening, was powerfully spicy.

cerveceria haveymeyer margarita & chicharones de harina

It’s also fine to just drink and snack on the free (bottomless, as they say in the Red Robin world) chicharrones de harina, Puffed wheat
wagon wheels striped with hot sauce and served with lime wedges. The $12 margaritas (classic, guava, hibiscus, tamarind) are really two drinks in one. Half sizes are available for half the price.

Cerveceria Havemeyer * 149 Havemeyer St., Brooklyn, NY

In-Store Eating: Steak and Potatoes

Which eating and drinking establishment within a store are you most looking forward to?

27383348a_021_b

The Gorbals inside Urban Outfitters’ Williamsburg outpost. I’m still outraged about the liquor license denial because I wanted to drink a Dick in a Hat while shopping for an OBEY Vagabond Fedora.

MP00535_AQUA_2

Makers and Merchants, i.e. the Brooks Brothers steakhouse.

pub

The Roof, which, er, will be on the roof of that Gowanus Whole Foods that’s been in limbo for years. Wegmans has an in-store pub called The Pub, so why not?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The Williamsburg Rough Trade cafe from Five Leaves folks.

taters tits

TNT a.k.a. Taters ‘n’ Tits in an unspecified North Carolina mall.

Photos: Urban Outfitters, Brooks Brothers, Wegmans, Made in Shoreditch, HBO

Quinoa and Moscow Mules Are the New Salad Bars and Mudslides

In the chain world where flatbreads, wraps and pretzel rolls are considered innovations, a few brands are trying harder to tap into contemporary food trends, whether a ruse to appeal to the irrationally coveted millennials or simply a desire to appear relevant in late 2013. Some I’ve witnessed firsthand. (I’ve already documented how Cheesecake Factory’s kale salad doesn’t contain much kale.)

Take Maggiano’s Little Italy. Little Italy isn’t a selling point for anyone in NYC who enjoys tasting their food, so adopting this shrinking neighborhood as a concept and transporting it to the suburbs seems misguided at best. I don’t doubt that there are parts of the country lacking in big family-style plates of manicotti and breaded veal cutlets smothered in marinara, and I have family members who insist on dining on Mulberry Street when they very rarely visit. It must be America’s favorite casual dining restaurant for a reason.

blacklist

It was the Handcrafted Classic Cocktails (as opposed to the plain Classic Cocktails section featuring a lemon drop and long island iced tea), though, that caught my attention and ultimately brought me to Bridgewater, New Jersey. There is an aviation, properly made and just mauve, not jewel-toned like the royal purple version ordered by James Spader in French in Montreal on The Blacklist to show off to the young FBI lady who just wanted a glass of Chardonnay, as if an aviation is the epitome of sophistication. They taste like Sweet Tarts, frankly, but they certainly are pretty and I do appreciate their presence on Maggiano’s menu.

maggiano's aviation

There was a surprising lack of sweet cocktails, the bane of all chain restaurants, and while not yet Fernet-crazed, a Negroni using Carpano
Antica was pretty on point, as was the presence of Aperol, multiple bitters and Fever Tree tonic water. Do note the fat ice cube in my Catcher in the Rye (Knob Creek Rye, Luxardo Marashino, simple syrup, Old Fashion Bitters).

* * *

Until recently, Bonefish Grill was dinner-only, so its decision to introduce a Sunday Brunch (and Bistro Lunch) is certainly more about increasing a day’s earnings (also, the Ruby Tuesday in Times Square advertises breakfast, a feature mentioned nowhere on its site) than trying to attract city folk with unlimited bubbles. Still, what other chains can you think of are doing brunch, the most controversial meal among food-centric crowds, with bottomless mimosas and bellinis? On a gut level I am anti-brunch, but because I can’t articulate why in a convincing matter I cave quietly now and then.

bonefish brunch

The brunch fare isn’t particularly on-brand for a seafood restaurant. Sure, there is a surf and turf eggs benedict with lobster and a crab and asparagus omelet (above) but the toast and au gratin potatoes (or fresh fruit) seem odd, especially coupled with the requisite warm Italian loaf and pesto dipping oil.  $19.9 (Bonefish prices everything in oddball increments) gets you that and unlimited bubbly drinks, provenance unknown, though likely prosecco and not Perrier Jouet “Grand Brut,” the only other sparkler it sells.

 

quinoa_fried_rice_lg

For fall, P.F. Chang’s has created “fried rice” from red quinoa and assorted vegetables. It’s topped with an egg. I was about to say that this is crying out for kale, but kale has its own showcase in the also-new Shanghai Waldorf Salad.

bg_MontanaMule1920

Moscow mules have also transitioned. P.F. Chang’s has a tequila jalapeño version, which negates the Moscow. Even Longhorn Steakhouse (I
say even because I’ve never had any interest in this Darden brand because it seemed so bland but am getting itchy to visit all of a sudden–maybe it’s the Snowfall-esque website with a mesmerizing pumpkin spice lava cake that’s sliced and oozes over and over again) has introduced a limited edition montana mule (I can’t get a straight answer on capitalizing cocktails or not, and it’s more problematic when the names contain proper nouns)  Jim Beam, no vodka. So, it seems that the moscow mule is becoming the new martini with ginger, and possibly a metal mug, being the only requirement for the designation.

 The Blacklist photo via The Pegu Blog

Getting My Kix

justin warner cooking

General Mills has been on a tear with its “Hello Cereal Lovers” campaign. Chefs like Dale Talde, Harold Dieterle and Amanda Frietag have developed recipes, and even I was moved to attend a cooking event with Do or Dine’s Justin Warner and I’m pretty certain I haven’t eaten cereal since I was in grade school (which I
probably should’ve kept to myself, if only because saying “I don’t think I’ve eaten cereal in 30 years” aloud only succeeds in scaring the NYU food studies girls who might not even be into their second decade of life).

fizzy trix

Why not Cocoa Puff carbonara, nuggets mimicking ground beef? Or Fizzy Trix cocktails, sweetness tamed with bitters?

ravioli filling

What I really wanted to see was some unnaturally colored food made palatable, and I got my wish during the interactive cooking session. Lucky Charms, marshmallows only was an audience suggestion, which got turned into ravioli, also stuffed with smoked mozzarella and oregano.

lucky charms ravioli

The result wasn’t abysmal, a little sweet and herbal, and most importantly, the shells oozed blue.

cereal swag

The dark (destitute?) underbelly of food media was exposed when attendees began scrounging for leftover raw meat. Heck, I gave in and took the baggie of scallops along with my swag. Even though I rarely blog about cooking anymore, I always make at least two meals a week at home  and a scallop fennel recipe was on the roster for Wednesday. A dusting of crumbled Vanilla Chex actually would’ve worked with this buttery seafood dish, so don’t think that I didn’t learn anything.

No Beaujolais Nouveau?

glade salted caramel

Pumpkin spice’s ubiquity has really taken a beating this year (white girl memes, flavor science proving it’s all spice, no pumpkin) but
there’s something much fouler afoot and I spied it at Target this weekend on the instant headache aisle otherwise known as air fresheners.

Glad is promoting a limited edition fall scents collection, which includes Salted Caramel, as if salt contributes an odor to caramel, which is really just sweet and Cracker Jacky with a chemical undertone. No matter, it’s available in five different formats: jar candle, Plugins scented oil, automatic spray, which differs from premium room spray, and scented oil candles.

The rest of the collection is rounded out by Fall Hayride, a mystery blend, Pumpkin Spice (obviously) and two other foodish scents, Orchard
Apple Cinnamon and Toasted Marshmallow, the latter which is described by an online reviewer as “Makes breathing fun!” Five stars for Toasted Marshmallow. Clearly, I know nothing about how a home should smell (or breathing).

What are the odds that Glade captures the aroma of a croissant-doughnut chimera for 2014?