Skip to content

Archive for

Chain Links: Houston’s, We Have a Problem

When is a chain not a chain? When it changes its name to skirt the 15 locations or more calorie-posting rule. Nice try, Houston's. [Crain's NY]

There's a TGI Friday's/Tim Hortons combo coming to Union Square. I'm actually more excited about the Nordstrom Rack (please don't pronounce Nordstrom with an S at the end). [NewYorkology]

Wendy's and Arby's will also be joined at the hip, though you probably won't have the opportunity to order a Frosty and Jamocha shake under the same roof unless you're in Dubai or Qatar. [QSR Magazine]

The Death of Cinna Stix®

Dr. oetker lava cake  
I thought molten cakes had reached the masses when Betty Crocker started selling microwave versions (I hate to admit I picked up a two-pack of Warm Delights Minis last week at Wegmans. I’ve never tried these before but the 150 calorie per serving call out apparently spoke to my inner Hungry Girl that I never knew existed. Next thing I’ll be melting Laughing Cow cheese triangles and calling it alfredo sauce).

But now I realize it’s Domino’s appropriating the trademark Jean George dessert that is the true symbol of food democracy. Let’s see, it took approximately 20 years for this trend to trickle down so I’m seeing marinara foam on pizzas around 2030.

McCormick & Schmick’s

Mccormick & schmick's exterior 

Did I love it? Not so much. There was an overall feeling of stinginess despite attempts to project sophistication.

Despite springing from the verdant fir-y loins of Portland just like me, I've never eaten at a McCormick & Schmick's before (I thought I had but that was the lovely Washington Square Newport Bay with the panoramic view of a cemetery). If you're northwestern, patronizing such chains just isn't done. However, if you're northwestern and find yourself at a mall in Bridgewater, New Jersey looking at Crate & Barrel beds, there's much less shame.

Mccormick & schmick's interior

More upscale, i.e. expensive, than a Red Lobster and stodgier than a Bonefish Grill, stained glass depicting a Revolutionary War cannon, banker’s visor green drapes framing the coveted booths flanking two dark wood walls, an endless Alto sax soundtrack and a tray of shellacked desserts to entice tableside, evoke another era, perhaps the cusp of 1990. The naming of each fish's place of origin is very 2000's, however. The napkins are cloth though the wooden tables are bare, a distressing cost-saving trend we noticed on our last Bonefish visit. I'm paying for class! Another nod to new frugality was the absence of bread and butter unless asked.

Mccormick & schmick's clams

I try to avoid filling up on empty carbs but briny, white wine-spiked broth shouldn't go to waste even if it was almost too salty. They also come with a little  container of popcorn butter. Don’t feel bad about summoning bread to accompany the steamed clams. The portion was a little skimpy for sharing and two mollusks didn't open, acting as accidental server kryptonite. No one would touch or remove the bowl thinking we hadn't finished yet. I suppose I prefer the just in case leave over the overzealous grab.

Judging from most of our fellow diners, largely 40+ twosomes and a big group celebrating a birthday, 90% who cleared out by 9pm, soda in glass tumblers is the beverage of choice. I'm a weirdo who drinks wine at chains (fast food restaurants adding alcohol is a growing trend so clearly I'm not that weird). A 5-ounce Pour of a Chilean (Haras Di Pirque) Sauvignon Blanc with the clams and 8 ounces of Chateau Ste. Michelle Riesling, which seems to be standard chain Riesling, with my entrée. No, I'm not an oenophile. I don't even have a problem with Charles Shaw.

Mccormick & schmick's lobster tail

I've been wanting to buy live lobsters from the Red Hook Lobster Pound but they were already sold out by the weekend and I hate to admit I'm a little squeamish about killing a creature (cleaning live soft shell crabs nearly a decade ago traumatized me slightly) so I was drawn to the summer lobster section offering three choices. I should've just gone with the traditional whole lobster but wasn't up for lots of messy cracking. Instead, I tried the Caribbean grilled lobster tail with tropical rice pilaf. The bits of meat I managed to extract were sweet but had a not wholly pleasant bitter dirt-like spicing perhaps allspice in the jerk-y blend. At least I managed to eat chain seafood and avoid the breaded, fried and heavily sauced, August's self-imposed mandate is light and low in starch, though I can let the occasional slice of bread and scoop of rice slide.

I wouldn't call M&S particularly good value (appetizers could stand to have a dollar shaved off and I would be more comfortable with entrees losing about $4) and it didn't provide the breezy level of fun I crave from a chain restaurant. This is a case, where an independent seafood restaurant may have been the better choice, though I don't know that any exist in the vicinity. We played with the Urbanspoon app in the Apple store and all the shaking provided no deeper insights.

In short: Portland, Oregon-based seafood restaurant founded in 1979 with 85 locations in 26 states.

Pacing: This is an important chain benchmark for me. We are slow eaters and I like to see if a restaurant will go with the flow or stick to a prescribed regimen. At M&S our entrees were brought out while the appetizer was still on table.

Hard sells: No reciting of specials. Loyalty card applications are on table.

Signature dish: None that I’m aware of, but they do emphasize the fresh and seasonal.

Oddball item: Nothing too glaring, perhaps the spicy tuna "pizza" using wasabi mayo and avocado. There is also a section of five dishes called New Jersey Seafood Classics, that includes not super-regional things like fish and chips, crab cakes and fettuccine alfredo.

Cons: Being called ma'am maybe ten times. No female in their 30s should be called ma'am. (I just reached a restaurant scenario on my Spanish language mp3 that involved a husband correcting a waiter calling his wife senorita instead of senora, miss rather than ma’am. “This is my wife and the mother of my children!”) Take note. This is what a ma'am looks like to a 12-year-old playing an orphan half his age. The actress playing Ma'am a.k.a. Katherine Calder-Young Papadapolis was 43 when the show aired.

McCormick & Schmick's * Bridgewater, NJ

Chocolate Thunder from Down Under

Bloomin_onion Because I have no money to lose I've never glommed onto the whole Bernie Madoff story. But now, finally an angle I can identify with: wealthy con artists love chains too!

Sure, there's a Per Se instance, lots of Lure, and on January 10, 2008 he spent $88.60 at the Outback Steakhouse on 23rd Street. Sadly, we'll never know if he AmEx'd a Bloomin' Onion.

Other less chainy chains include Houston's, Wollensky's Grill, Blue Ribbon (Brasserie and Sushi) and Dos Caminos.

The Bernie Madoff Dining Index [Clusterstock via Eater]

Getting My Goat

Reyes de ocotlán goat door  It's a fast food bonanza over at Esquire.com. The best. The worst. And sure, lots of usual suspects…does an In-N-Out hater even exist? Lurking on slide 21 of fast food faves is Rick Bayless' pick, Birreria Reyes de Ocotlan in Chicago, illustrated with one of my very own photos. Go goat meat!

Just Chill

Cholado

Photo from Metromix

Ok, I'm breaking my August silence to mention a story I have on Metromix about oddball frosty treats in NYC. It's hot enough today to warrant them.  I could even ignore my self-imposed sugar-free mandate for a Colombian cholado about now.

Chain Links: Expansion

Six new Applebee’s are slated for the NYC metro area by the end of 2009. Manhattan needn't fear—Flushing, Harlem, The Bronx and Westchester will be the recipients. [Crain's]

Manhattan is not completely safe. Currently, they have 149 Subway shops, two are on their way and there is no end in sight. [Grub Street]

California Pizza Kitchen is coming to India. With carne asada, jerk chicken, Greek and Thai chicken pizzas already in existence, tandoori can only be in the works. [Forbes]

In Other Words, Cross-Cultural Chain Restaurant Appetizers Are Unsatisfying

"My attraction to the Gates-arrest narrative — with its potential for curiosity, surprise, indignation and pedantry on themes from race to police procedure to academia to the history of Boston — struck me as a craving induced by industrial design, like Southwestern egg rolls at Chili’s." —Virginia Heffernan, New York Times

Summer Vacation

I'm a little surprised at the backlash that has begun over the Julie half of Julie & Julia, a film for which I’m probably an intended target but have zero interest in seeing. I was one of those people who kind of groaned over the blog to book deal way back in the ancient days of 2003 before bloggers got book deals for compiling photos of food emailed to them. I scoffed because I'm a bitch who often begrudges the (undeserved) success of others, but what I didn’t realize was how bitchy the general public had become.

Jealous much? Hater. Ick, I keep seeing that catty shorthand in comments (not here, I don't garner comments) when anyone is critical of anyone online. For me, at least, that's not usually the case. I can separate loathing and annoyance from jealousy. And I can admit when I'm envious. That's why I never read the Julie/Julia Project.

We often hate in others what we see in ourselves and the Julie reminded me of me. We were about the same age, lived in crappy outerborough neighborhoods (Sunset Park for me), drank too much, had dull dead end jobs (I was unemployed/temped through much of the early '00s—though I was spurred to go to grad school, which landed me a slightly better paying, slightly more stable, slightly more satisfying career that I sometimes enjoy but am certainly not passionate about), were fairly domesticated (though I would never marry in my 20s, heck, I'm still not in my late 30s even though a ten-year dating anniversary is only a month away) and we both blogged about food and our personal lives, she with the focus of a single-minded project and me in the same rambling scattershot fashion I still can't shake.

She struck a chord with the public and for that I was jealous. Not in an all-consuming way, certainly but it crossed my mind. Cooking has a way of doing that, though. I'm always surprised at the number of comments, sense of camaraderie, rah rah-ness, and sharing I see on recipe-centric blogs (at least the popular ones) compared to restaurant-ish sites full of douche-slinging insults. I wonder if it's a female/male divide. Writing about cooking has never my thing, I only dabble in it occasionally, though there are plenty of meals from scratch in my household—I’m not trying to make Michael Pollan cry.

Cream rises even if that cream is now being derided as a talentless hack.

"Her writing is hollow, narcissistic, and unforgivably lazy—qualities so foreign to Julia that it’s not at all surprising that she once said she couldn’t abide Powell’s work…The idea of Powell as a contemporary heir to this personal and culinary epic is absurd."Laura Shapiro, Julia Child's biographer

“Flinging around four-letter words when cooking isn’t attractive, to me or Julia. She didn’t want to endorse it. What came through on the blog was somebody who was doing it almost for the sake of a stunt. She would never really describe the end results, how delicious it was, and what she learned. Julia didn’t like what she called ‘the flimsies.’ She didn’t suffer fools, if you know what I mean.”Judith Jones, Julia Child's editor

"I also read the Julie/Julia Project blog and for a time…Good for her, I thought. What an undertaking. But one day she made a comment implying a recipe being wrong for roast chicken. I honestly don’t remember what it was, but it struck me as being so disrespectful, completely without deference to Julia Child, that I stopped. What the hell did she know about food? Had she even heard of poulet au Bresse? Didn’t go back. No malice. Just didn’t want to follow anymore."

" The incredible proliferation and self-indulgent blabber of many food blogs has given people the freedom to hallucinate, 'I can type and I eat, therefore I am a food journalist'!"–Virginia Willis, writer/blogger previously unknown to me

Wow. Time change things. I'm now able to appreciate Julie's success more (especially since I embody emptiness, narcissism and laziness) and feel a little sympathy over the growing animosity. I can also appreciate the following she amassed using just words, no photos. It’s hard to imagine anyone reading a blog without pictures now. I felt like a latecomer not having a digital camera until 2006 but that was then the norm.

And apparently the foodie intelligentsia have come to the conclusion that she's all that's wrong with the world and an insult to Julia Child's memory. Even I, who never actually read the blog or the book, don't think that Julie saw herself as an heir to Julia. That's the movie's problem. Actually, I think it's an old person's problem and this is coming from someone who just turned 37 (old!). The cranks all seem to be middle aged women, I'm afraid. I do think there still is a print/online generational divide, though it appears to be shrinking with the mainstreaming of blogging.  Ruth Reichl immediately comes to mind as a woman who has a good grasp on both print and social media (heck, television, too).

If anything, the Nora Ephron rom-com has created a new younger audience for Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Sure, the movie tie-in wrap around dust jacket is corny. But the book is selling. It's as of this writing, the fifth bestselling book in Amazon's Cooking, Food and Wine section, behind the bizarre two versions each of Omnivore's Dilemma and Hungry Girl: 200 Recipes Under 200 Calories. Americans are clearly conflicted.

 Maybe I'm burying the lede in this jumble, but for the month of August I will be taking a break from being whatever it is that sits at the bottom of the bottle refusing to rise. Is that milk? And I like to think I know about food. Anyway, a lot has changed since the early '00s. The world, specifically my world, NYC, is now deluged with food blogs. I can barely keep up with my RSS feeds and skim at best. It's hard to care about what hundreds of strangers are eating and cooking every day and in turn I can't expect anyone to care about what I write here. If I never read about another food truck, pig roast, $100 fried chicken dinner or DiFara again, I’ll…well, I’ll be fine.

So, I’m taking August off from food blogging and as ridiculous as it sounds (though slightly less so than juicing fasts or lemonade cleanses) I’m also going completely sugar, bread and alcohol-free. A little detoxing never hurt anyone and even though I already limit my sugar and starch as it is (and so far it has successfully kept my diabetes at bay) I feel like I could be tougher. I’ve slowly let bagels, fries and ice cream to creep back into my life but I don’t want them taking over. Thirty-one carbless days never killed anyone, right?

See you in September.