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Courtly Love

Can you call yourself a mall if you don't even have a food court? James and I rarely have tagalongs during our suburban raids, so having two friends in tow was a rare treat. While we were mixing things up, we thought we'd try a new mall too.

Shorthillsnumbers It was a little hairy because the weather turned icy that morning and for some asinine reason, they'd roped off all outdoor parking lots. So, every Lexus and BMW SUV in Essex County were vying for spots in the covered woefully inadequate garage.

  I guess this is a classy mall. But Paramus also has Tiffany, Gucci and Legal Seafood, yet has no qualms about letting them rub shoulders with Orange Julius and Spencer's Gifts. Not so, Short Hills. We wanted a snack (before going wild at Chevys later) and were relegated to a packed Au Bon Pain.

Shorthillsliving They have these demented modern lounge areas scattered throughout the center, but no food or drink is allowed. Just weird fucks watching crackling fires on television screens. The pretense is odd since the skeleton of the mall is classic '70s, angular planters, tiles that creep up from the floor and cover modular benches, and art like a crazy numeral pile that filled me with glee. They've gussied up the offerings with an Apple Store, Sub-Zero Wolf, Appliance Studio and an Anthropologie. But the place so wants to populated with Sears and Dress Barn.

I didn't end up buying a single thing, but that's never the point with me.

The Mall at Short Hills * Route 24 & JFK Parkway, Short Hills, NJ

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