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Atlantic Antics

Yes20it20is I'm not sure if the store was decimated because it was the day after the day after Christmas or simply because this is a perpetually busted location. I'm no fan of the Atlantic Center, but was forced into its bad feng shui environs because it's the closet DMV to my apartment (did you know the Brooklyn DMV was inside this monstrosity? And it's baffling because I thought the mall was '90s, yet the DMV is straight '70s municipal chic, very Barney Miller. Did they grime up the space, metal, fluorescent light and wood panel it to look authentically old and dreary, or has it rapidly aged?) and the holiday break was my only chance to renew my license that expired in the summer.

Target wasn't crowded as it has been in the past (I once waited in the return line for 30 minutes and it didn't even budge. I gave up and  took that same pair of $24.99 pants to Hackensack, walked right up to the counter, no line, no questions, and had cash in hand in less than 60 seconds) yet no matter where you wanted to be, someone else had to be in that exact spot too. I was trying to look at hair dye and this guy would get between me and the shelf no matter what, there was no way he was buying hair coloring, he was just being an irritant. Have you ever noticed that about Brooklyn? If you show any interest in an item, look at it, or god forbid, touch it, a stranger will instantly appear and all of a sudden become bizarrely engrossed in what they previously could've cared less about?

But like I said, the shelves were bare. Where purses and bags should've been, sat empty hooks. I wanted to try the chile flavored Choxie bars, but there weren't any to be had. I then, went for my second favorite guilty pleasure after chocolate: makeup.

I was mesmerized by a new line from Loreal called HIP or H.i.p. or something like that (there's no mention of it on their website). I think the acronym stands for high intensity pigment, and is not merely hip. I think they're trying to tap into the MAC market with bright, intense colors which I'm a sucker for. Remember Revlon's Street Wear aping Urban Decay in the late '90s (I still own and wear a few of the eye shadows and lip glosses-no germs or expiration date worries for me)? I love drug store knock offs. And apparently, so does Brooklyn because there was one orphaned tube of dark purple lip gloss left on the entire plastic display. The color I wanted too, but you know it was messed with. I will have to head to a New Jersey Target to satisfy my urge for gimmicky cosmetics and candy.

Target * 139 Flatbush Ave., Brooklyn, NY

*Image borrowed from Samology, which might possibly be the only site that's ever "photoblogged" the Brooklyn DMV. (There are signs all over the place about no camera phones, photos, etc. and I'm scared of breaking rules and pissing off already disgruntled government workers and impatient waiting room dwellers. I got dirty looks just for trying to sit on the far end of an occupied wooden bench–I haven't felt such Oz-like vibes since my Ridgewood-Bushwick Lucille Roberts days.)

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