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I Am Curious Blue

I have a minor obsession with blue food, it just occurs so rarely in nature and it’s so pretty (same with deep blue-black flowers). Lumping purple and blue together, you have purple potatoes, blue corn, ube a.k.a. purple yam, blueberries, concord grapes and that’s about it. Fortunately, there are food scientists out there tinkering away for my novelty-craving benefit. 2002 is all about color, and for once I’m not complaining.

Parkay Fun Squeeze I would not eat this stuff, not so much because of the unnatural colors but because of the unnatural ingredients. Unless you’re vegan (and even that lifestyle is questionable) or have coronary issues (95% of my family) there’s no good reason to not eat butter. My thing is I don’t like eating butter when I can see it, it needs to be melted and oozy. The butter must be liquid and pooled in the crannies of my waffle, not sitting all stiff on the surface. And my question is, how will this Electric Blue and Shocking Pink stuff look once it melts. And secondly, does it melt?

Ocean Spray White Cranberry Juice Yeah, I know white is the lack of color, but it’s just plain abnormal so it counts.

Cheetos Mystery Colorz Snacks I have not actually seen these first hand yet, but the idea of neon orange fake cheese turning blue or green upon contact with saliva is an idea whose time has come. I don’t even like chips, but Cheetos are a horse of a different color. As a kid, I learned that the hard way when my mom made me run into Albertson’s for chips and I came back with Cheetos. She was not a happy woman. I halfheartedly offered to go back in and get real chips, knowing she wouldn’t bother and I’d get my snack way.

Ore-Ida Funky Fries I don’t know why their new products aren’t mentioned on their website yet. I haven’t actually seen them in the stores either, but Brooklyn’s retarded that way. Wow, this one gets my juices flowing more than any other. I love fries and potato products, and this pale Kool Blue color is downright pretty. Coupled with that green ketchup (Heinz does own Ore-Ida), this could be the start of something beautiful. Cinnamon? Chocolate? I could get used to it. Why not, everything goes with starch.

Dannon Sprinkl'ins Color Creations Yogurts  I guess these are out, though I’ve never seen them. I thought the world had gone wild in the early ’90s when the muti-colored Trix yogurt was introduced. But I’ll be damned if the ’00s aren’t downright x-treme! These babies come with blue crystals that’ll change vanilla yogurt into colors like Jelly Purple and Alligator Green. And I thought those granola toppers were the living end.

Move over white asparagus and boring ol’ indian corn, there’s some new produce in town. Maroon carrots aren’t so new I hear, but they’re certainly new to me. Also exciting are “Graffiti,” a purple cauliflower, “Halloween in Paris,” a bright yellow pumpkin, “Falstaff,” purple-red Brussels sprouts and various black tomatoes. I even have a yard (a near anomaly for NYC), but I’ll be damned if I know the first thing about gardening.

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