Based on the tiny rendering (pictured) on the Brooklyn Eagle’s site, this is going to be one classy Arby’s.
About
The Scoop
In fourth grade someone got the bright idea of cutting lunch to an outrageous 15 minutes (as if going to a year-round school without a cafeteria wasn't enough--we ate at our desks and were served by mobile carts in the hall). To get the slow eaters (me) up to speed, our teachers implemented a charming little policy called "Shovel Time."
The first nine minutes would pass normally. Then as the tenth approached, Miss Stauffer (a feathered-haired gal who drove a Camaro, loved Little River Band...and apparently still teaches at Hollydale Elementary) would yell, "Do you know what time it is?!" The class would manically shriek back, "SHOVEL TIME!!!" Talking was absolutely forbidden the final five minutes—it was a deathly silent scarf fest.
I don't know if I've ever been the same since. But as a nod to this classy ritual, I've adopted the humble scooping implement as my rating system's icon. Shovel on!
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1 Shovel=Passing Fancy
2 Shovels=Puppy Love
3 Shovels=Crippling Crush
4 Shovels=Serious Stalking
Picture This
Ad it Up
Horsey Sauce and More
Based on the tiny rendering (pictured) on the Brooklyn Eagle’s site, this is going to be one classy Arby’s.
"Spanish" Food Coming to Red Hook
Spanish food taking over the former Viva space in Red Hook? Ah, “Spanish” food and the printed ad devotes more space to wraps, ribs, salads and soups and sandwiches and burgers. I’ll have to see about this Diego’s. I’d take either arroz con pollo or paella since both interpretations of Spanish are lacking in 11231.
Mucho Gusto couldn't make it along Columbia Street and Reds Tapas never gets mentioned ever.
Feeling Good in More Neighborhoods
I’ve been semi-seriously toying with the idea of extricating myself from office work, though I don’t neccessarily see myself as a server, cook, dishwasher, host, bartender or expediter (all available positions). I haven’t worked food service since 1990 when I was a dough maker in a delivery-only Pizza Hut.
Then again, the ad does say, ”experience is a PLUS” not a requirement.
First There Was Cake Batter Ice Cream
Photo from less apathy more cake
Yes, the internets have been abuzz over the Japanese Burger King’s Windows 7 Whopper. That’s an impressive novelty to be sure.
But why am I just now hearing about the Burger King cupcake shake? It appears that the cupcake trend has finally began to trickle down to the fast food arena. First, red velvet cupcakes quietly showed up in Southern California Taco Bells and now this.
When do you think fast food joints will start deploying food trucks? Northwest chain, Burgerville, already has a Nomad.
Giving Papa John's Dessert Pizza a Run For Its Money
Despite being new to me, Taco Bell’s caramel apple empanadas are apparently old hat. At a few select Southern California locations, the chain has been experimenting with cupcakes, smoothies and milkshakes. It’s only a matter of times before they start serving Korean tacos.
Los cupcakes actually do exist in Mexico, or at least chichi enclaves of the capitol city. And yes, they have red velvet. [Fast Food Maven via Eater]
Su Casa es Mi Casa?
Su Casa, the semi-secret bar above the kind of new West Village Qdoba, is serving appropriately freakish cocktails and a benign roster of burritos and such. Orange Kool-Aid and Patron? It’s a shame that I’ll be out of town on their official open date of September 10 because I could really go for a Satan’s Horse (raspberry liqueur, tequila, minced ginger and Red Bull).
Yerba Buena Perry
Would Yerba Buena Perry be a mere offshoot or a bonafide chain? It’s all in the eye of the beholder and for my nefarious purposes: chain.
I’m very much not a party photographer if that isn’t painfully obvious. Besides, I don’t really get off on the blogger role during events and openings and the like—I just want to mingle and enjoy the food and drink without making the poor servers stop and hold their trays still. Not that that was even possible at the new Yerba Buena (which should open today) because the food was literally decimated before the plates made it more than a few feet out of the kitchen.
I did snag a pretty, layered pisco mojito (pisco, bitters, lime and yep, yerba buena) and moved onto wine from there (and then dark chocolatey stout at Spuyten Devil after that—not so smart for a Monday night).
Breaded fried avocado slices were a hit (El Almacen has also been doing these—anyone else?) though I finally encountered the unthinkable: something breaded and fried that completely grossed me out, which isn’t to say the dish was ill-conceived, I just happen to hate melon more than any food on the planet. Yes, they’ve coated and crisp-fried slices of watermelon. Other “Latino Fries” will include more sensible hearts of palm, yuca, plantains, jalapenos and cactus.
Cheesey manchego croquettes, arepas topped with pork and a spicy fish taco were also promising. Of course these were all nibbles. I look forward to trying something more substantial. Maybe the parrillada?
Yerba Buena Perry * 1 Perry St., New York, NY
The Death of Cinna Stix®
I thought molten cakes had reached the masses when Betty Crocker started selling microwave versions (I hate to admit I picked up a two-pack of Warm Delights Minis last week at Wegmans. I’ve never tried these before but the 150 calorie per serving call out apparently spoke to my inner Hungry Girl that I never knew existed. Next thing I’ll be melting Laughing Cow cheese triangles and calling it alfredo sauce).
But now I realize it’s Domino’s appropriating the trademark Jean George dessert that is the true symbol of food democracy. Let’s see, it took approximately 20 years for this trend to trickle down so I’m seeing marinara foam on pizzas around 2030.
Sonic Boom
I see a most amazing two-fer in my future. I normally stick to Middlesex County on my weekend New Jersey excursions but I will have to make an exception for the new Sonic that just opened a mere 18 miles from my home. Those ads for candy topped Sonic Blasts have been taunting me for too long.
What would make it the ultimate experience, though, would be to ultimately end up at P.F. Chang's in West, NJ just 11 miles from the Sonic. This chain, that I imagine being the Cheesecake Factory of Asian food, has also been elusive and on my radar forever.
Speaking of, there was just an odd bit on NPR from a former Saveur editor (why did I know she would be wearing a pashmina?) about going to the Cheesecake Factory for her eleventh anniversary. My tenth (dating) anniversary is creeping up. I was thinking about maybe Corton or Marea but who needs a $100+ per person tasting menu when P.F. Chang's offers a $39.95 four-course "Chang's for Two?"
Jerky Even a Vegetarian Could Love
When I first heard about pineapple jerky, I assumed that it was fruit flavored dried meat like the Fruit Juice Roasted Pork strip in the photo at the right. Strangely, Aji Ichiban in NYC (at least last time I checked) only sell candy while in Hong Kong there are entire bins of plastic-wrapped jerky squares sold by weight. Chinese are kind of nuts for jerky; there's a whole dried meat chain called Bee Cheng Hiang.
So, when I was offered free samples of pineapple jerky from Jerky.com, I'll admit that I was expecting pliable sheets or beef or pork. As it turned out, pineapple jerky is fancy fruit leather, duh. I don't mind those sugary gelatinized dried pineapple rings you usually find in stores, but these dehydrated slices sweetened only with honey do taste more like real fruit.
Thin and a little chewy and tough, the texture is well, jerky-like. In the best way. Because I have a strange aversion to fresh fruit (ok, mostly to the boring apple/orange/banana triumvirate—cherries and berries aren't so bad) I could see these working as an afternoon snack when I get tired of the usual almonds, yogurt or wedge of Laughing Cow cheese. In the mean time, I need to work my way through that bag of Chinese jerky I bought in December. Jerky is preserved to last, right?
Sowing My Oats
I’m hesitant to review (if that’s what you can call this) freebies because, you know, I just can’t be bought (not to mention how mom blogger it feels). But I eat a granola bar every couple days anyway so it was no big thing to try three varieties of the new Quaker True Delights line. Quaker must be on a promotional rampage; Wednesday they had Top Chef contestants oat encrusting everything during the quickfire challenge. No one needs to be eating eggplant spackled with dry oatmeal.
Granola bars are a strange foodstuff. I wouldn’t say that they’re good for you and it’s not as if they do shit in the way of filling you up; they’re just a less egregious snack than a candy bar.
In grade school I was jazzed when chewy chocolate chip was invented. And don’t get me started on Dipps or Kudos (that is how I added the previously unknown word to my vocabulary, though). It’s hard to believe that soft, granola bars studded with M&Ms, Oreos and drizzled with chocolate did not exist before the ‘80s. It felt like you were getting away with something in comparison those dusty, dense Nature Valley bars that were usually packed in my lunch. To this day I still prefer Kashi TLC (tasty little chewies) over the heartier crunchy Kashi Pumpkin Spice Flax that James occasionally picks up from Target not knowing any better.
Coconut Banana Macadamia Nut: Banana was the strongest flavor and I wasn’t sure if it was artificial or real until I noticed the embedded banana chips. Then there was a mildly salty, baking soda-y effect followed by coconut crunch. Whole macadamias were nice.
Honey Roasted Cashew Mixed Berry: Sweetest of the three, must be that honey, and heavy on tart berry flavor. The cashews added richness. This was my favorite by far. The odd good thing is that if you’re a poor sap who’s resigned to doing Weight Watchers, this bar only has two points where the others have three.
Dark Chocolate Raspberry Almond: More subtle than the other two. I didn’t encounter any whole berries like in the promotional photo, just speckles. And despite the petite chocolate chunks, this bar felt more Kashi-style healthy than the rest.
So, I would eat a Honey Roasted Cashew Mixed Berry bar if someone handed me one and I was in need of a snack, but as long as corn syrup is the second ingredient I’ll stick to my Kashis. The Corn Refiners Association won’t sway me on their “sweet surprise” no matter how many commercials they produce.
The Robert Redford of Pizza
I haven’t eaten at Pizza Hut in years (though I did work at a takeout-only branch the summer between high school and college and ate personal pan pizzas nearly every day) so it’s not likely that a marketing gimmick such as their new (nationally—it launched in test markets last year) pizza, The Natural, will sway me. What I do find interesting is how quickly a food fad will sweep the nation, not that I’m one to argue with a move toward zero high fructose corn syrup and filler-free sausage.
Pizza Hut’s own research found that 73% of those surveyed believe “foods that are natural have flavor the way it was meant to taste.” Ok, that’s a bit vague.
But this newfound faith in nature has been bolstered by recent studies. According to Mintel, in the US 33% of new food and beverage products touted being natural in 2008, a 16% rise from the previous year.
Nielsen has reported that food with natural claims accounted for $22.3 billion in sales in 2008, a 10% increase versus 2007. Meanwhile low carb products decreased 3% during the same time period. Natural in, restricted eating out.
When it comes down to it, taste is what really matters. Check out mixed reviews of The Natural on Chow and The Impulsive Buy.
Photograph Your Way to a Size 0
A recent study from the University of Wisconsin-Madison has shown that taking photos of your food before eating it encourages weight loss. I can’t say that snapping shots of Thai curries or burgers and fries has ever had any positive effect on my b.m.i. So then I wonder if food bloggers are slimmer than the general population? I don't really know any fat food bloggers, but really, I don't know many food bloggers period.
Yesterday I did randomly try the new Dunkin’ Donuts egg white flatbread sandwich, and yes, I took a photo of it. My at-work breakfast usually consists of either Greek yogurt with sugarless jam or a hard-boiled egg with Spanish paprika. I’m bored of both, so Friday I thought I’d go wild and stop by the Broad Street Dunkin' on my way to work (despite the guilt of my coffee cart guy seeing me patronizing another establishment across the street).
I guess I don’t pay much attention to my surroundings because the Dunkin’ Donuts was closed, paper up in the window and everything. Luckily, I was brought one of these over-toasted treats from the neighborhood on Sunday.
No, it’s not tasty and greasy like those egg and bacon rolls oozing with orange cheese. I envy women who eat those with abandon, and I do often spy totally un-overweight ladies (rarely white, for whatever reason) ordering them from delis. I think these are the same women I see with Burger King bags during lunchtime. How do they do it?
The bread is kind of dry, chewy and overwhelms the portion controlled filling. The egg white and turkey sausage are fine. All in all, it’s an inoffensive alternative to a cholesterol laden breakfast sandwich and was more filling that I’d expected but I seriously wanted to put a slice of cheese on it. I think nearly everything could benefit from a slice of cheese.
Update: I was not wrong in my want of cheese. The sandwich is supposed to have reduced fat mozzarella (the veggie has cheddar) as I noticed on TV and online. It's just that chains in NYC have a way of messing up processed food that's designed to be fool proof to prepare.
Photograph Your Way to a Size 0
A recent study from the University of Wisconsin-Madison has shown that taking photos of your food before eating it encourages weight loss. I can’t say that snapping shots of Thai curries or burgers and fries has ever had any positive effect on my b.m.i. So then I wonder if food bloggers are slimmer than the general population? I don't really know any fat food bloggers, but really, I don't know many food bloggers period.
Yesterday I did randomly try the new Dunkin’ Donuts egg white flatbread sandwich, and yes, I took a photo of it. My at-work breakfast usually consists of either Greek yogurt with sugarless jam or a hard-boiled egg with Spanish paprika. I’m bored of both, so Friday I thought I’d go wild and stop by the Broad Street Dunkin' on my way to work (despite the guilt of my coffee cart guy seeing me patronizing another establishment across the street).
I guess I don’t pay much attention to my surroundings because the Dunkin’ Donuts was closed, paper up in the window and everything. Luckily, I was brought one of these over-toasted treats from the neighborhood on Sunday.
No, it’s not tasty and greasy like those egg and bacon rolls oozing with orange cheese. I envy women who eat those with abandon, and I do often spy totally un-overweight ladies (rarely white, for whatever reason) ordering them from delis. I think these are the same women I see with Burger King bags during lunchtime. How do they do it?
The bread is kind of dry, chewy and overwhelms the portion controlled filling. The egg white and turkey sausage are fine. All in all, it’s an inoffensive alternative to a cholesterol laden breakfast sandwich and was more filling that I’d expected but I seriously wanted to put a slice of cheese on it. I think nearly everything could benefit from a slice of cheese.
Update: I was not wrong in my want of cheese. The sandwich is supposed to have reduced fat mozzarella (the veggie has cheddar) as I noticed on TV and online. It's just that chains in NYC have a way of messing up processed food that's designed to be fool proof to prepare.
Don't Candy Coat It
Is putting your mug on an M&M old news? I noticed a banner ad the other day that showed what looked to be wedding favors, M&Ms with the newly married couple’s faces on them. I was skeeved out, but it doesn’t take much to put me in that state. If they’d personalized a Jordan almond I might’ve been more forgiving.
I see all sorts of wretched I Do(nut) applications for this sweet technology.
I guess that speculating what that M&M inside of you looks like ran its course and we’ve now resorted to simply stamping our likenesses on the candy shell?
I will admit to a weakness for mass customization, though. Take a gander at what you can do with dolls. My Twinn introduced me to this creepy concept a decade ago and AndGor and Tiny Pocket People have been carrying on the tradition.
Uncle Sammie Wants You!
Based upon causal Financial District observation, Quiznos’s Sammies are a freak hit. I usually wait until 2pm to eat because hate crowds and mobs wane by then, but at the Quiznos across the street from my office there was still a line well past normal lunch hour and every single person in it was ordering the damn Sammies.
Clearly, the $2, 200 calorie ad campaign is working. Quiznos only recently (reluctantly) started publishing nutrition information, which makes you wonder if they cooked up this product to counteract the frighteningly unhealthy bulk of their menu. Though it should be mentioned that only two of the six varieties are 200 calories.
The mini sandwiches are kind of perfect if you’re craving something junky and don’t want to completely ruin an eating or savings regimen. No, one won’t fill you up but it’s a inoffensive supplement to yogurt, fruit or granola bar, whatever you eat during the day (those are my typical daily bring alongs). For low impact fast food comparison, a McDonald’s cheeseburger is 300 calories and a plain Wendy’s baked potato is 310 calories.
I still have a tough time bringing myself to say Sammie, however. And weirdly, after looking at the photo I took of a Sammie in November I can say that the one I had today seemed larger, or maybe my hand was just really huge a few months ago.
XXtra, XXtra, Read All About It
Cheetos are the only chips I like (yeah, yeah, they’re not really chips in the potato sense) and it’s not like I’m presented with Cheeto-snacking opportunities on a regular basis. But there’s something about road trips that brings out my true junk-loving nature. As kids, whenever my dad (never my mom) would stop at a convenie nce store/gas station , he’d invariably come back to the car with treats not allowed during day to day life, like Hostess pudding pies (do they still make those? Er, apparently not), mini Bama pecan pies (no, I didn’t grow up in the south) and it might have only happened once but I will always remember a can of tooth pain sweet Nehi Strawberry soda. Mars bars were his candy of choice, which have been transformed into the modern Snickers with almonds.
On the longer than anticipated drive down to Key West from Miami (Google estimated three hours, but it took more like five because people drive so freaking slow, which is to say exactly the speed limit. I’ve never seen such a thing around here, and even though it’s infuriating to get mowed down by New Jersey drivers when you’re going 80 m.p.h., it’s more excruciating to be stuck on a one-lane highway doing 35) I managed to avoid gas station candy (but I was lucky enough to run into a CVS and find Great Lash Blackest Black mascara, an item I forgot to pack, mere feet from the entrance and with a dollar off coupon attached to it. You don’t know how good it feels to spend less than four bucks with zero legwork to pick up a necessity). However, we didn’t avoid fried seafood but that’s not for now.
On the way back to Miami, I picked up a Chick-O-Stick, which was kind of blander than I remember and I swear, slightly cinnamon tinged. I love limited edition snacks (they also had blue cheese and buffalo flavored Doritos packed together in the same bag, which was kind of clever) so I was happy to see James pick up a 99-cent bag of XXTRA Flamin’ Cheetos at a mini mart. I hate food that claims to be hot and isn’t. Wow, their “twice as hot!” was no hyperbole. These fiery nuggets were way more heated than either of us anticipated and possibly not good driving food. They induced coughing and I was afraid James might veer off the dimly lit highway into a manatee laden swamp or something.
Five days later, last night, the bag was still in our apartment, maybe ¼ full. I started picking at the Cheetos and they were hot but not as wildly punishing as they seemed on the weekend. Had my palate toughened up or had they lost their kick?
Chelada Style
I wondered how long it would take for micheladas to go mainstream. I wrote about them some time ago and I still wouldn’t say they’re wildly popular, especially not outside of Mexican restaurants.
I first saw Miller Chill a few weeks ago at a New Jersey Chevy’s. Of all the places I might’ve spotted the bottled beverage, a suburban Chevy’s makes the most sense. This beer cocktail is simply a chelada with salt and lime, no chile. I always thought the spice was the fun of a michelada.
I haven’t seen the Budweiser Chelada in person but I am aware of its creepy existence. Creepy because it contains Clamato. And I thought that addition was weird enough in chips.
What mildly unknown regional drink will get popularized in the U.S. next? Kvass? Chile beer sounds fine but the thought of rye bread beer makes me want to hurl. Cauim? I would like to see how Anheuser-Busch would handle the chewed manioc aspect. I’m sure it could be commercialized with synthetic enzymes. My vote is for lamanog and it looks like it’s actually being served at Cendrillon.
The Trouble with Fennel Seeds & Couscous
I find it hard to believe that the nation’s still not ready for goat cheese (I knew there was no way Bonnie was going to win over high schoolers with breaded goat cheese on Monday’s Hell’s Kitchen). Which is why I find it strange that anyone would enjoy a handful of whole fennel seeds in their salad.
I never ever eat at Cosi and am not in the habit of spending eight bucks for a salad (though I’m currently coveting Starwich’s pricey citrus duck salad and debating whether or not to run out get it—heck, I’ve got a little birthday spending money burning a hole in my pocket) but it was Friday and I get loopy. I only chose it because it was the lowest fat of the three new low fat salads. And it’s certainly not a low fat meal if you eat the fluffy flat bread that comes on the side.
It tasted low fat, all right. It’s the kind of thing I’d make from Cooking Light and have trouble choking down the next night as leftovers. I liked the idea of tandoori chicken and pomegranate dressing. Those two components were fine. The lettuce was neutral. But toasted fennel seeds were foul. Maybe I was putting too much stock in the arugula-ification (MS Word doesn’t even recognize the word arugula) of America because I was hoping they meant fennel pollen. But they said seeds and that’s what they meant. It could be my own bias because I’m not licorice crazy but the anise flavor was completely overwhelming and the seeds kept getting stuck in my teeth. Sure, a little pinch of candy-coated seeds after an Indian meal is refreshing but you don’t necessarily want repeated mouthfuls. The toasted fennel seed and chicken salad nipped my Cosi experimentation right in the bud.
Ok, I gave in to the Starwich urge and they managed to mess up my plan. I had been looking forward to “tender braised duck, torn peppercress, frisee, shaved carrots, Israeli couscous with orange-cherry vinaigrette” and I almost got all that. I tempered my initial desire for a sandwich and went for a salad instead. At least the couscous would add a little heft (to my meal not my body, duh). But after paying my $9.95 and waiting, it turned out that they didn’t have any of the little starchy orbs. The cashier asked the little Mexican guy making the salad what he’d recommend as a substitution and he ended up adding cucumbers and oranges. Not bad really--I barely missed the couscous. There was some serious foliage tangled up in my plastic container, though. That peppercress is a tough customer and my plastic knife got a work out. It was certainly worth the extra two bucks to avoid fennel seed overload.
It Can Sense Fear
Then again, maybe I'm worrying for nothing.
Photo from burnlab via Flickr
It Can Sense Fear
Then again, maybe I'm worrying for nothing.
Photo from burnlab via Flickr
I'm With the Band
Ignoring T.G.I. Friday’s late-to-the-game attempts at small plates, Subway has introduced a new overstuffed behemoth (I can’t find any reference to this on their lame website or on the blogosphere—perhaps I imagined it?). Surely, to compete with Quizno’s girthier sandwiches. Sorry Jared. The commercial that I’ve only seen once initially caught my attention because I’m a sucker for chain food gimmicks, then I became fascinated by one of the eaters, a office lady woman dressed to look younger than she is. Office ladies eat Lean Cuisine, salads and microwave popcorn, not bulging hoagies. But I do appreciate the attempt to include the fairer sex in their marketing ploy.
Another weird ladylike eating habit presented itself to me on Sunday. I was scoping out the now slightly famous Red Hook ball fields. I hadn’t been this year, and wow, it has practically been taken over by South Brooklyn post-college, just barely pre-stroller/SUV set. Live and let live, but I couldn’t ignore the female members of these crews and their approach to a food-centric gathering.
There were a number of groups scattered around the hot grass and precious few shady tables, and they tended to be made up of two or three guys with one girl. The young men were all chowing down on sasquatch-sized huaraches or greasy pupusas while their accompanying gal pal remained empty handed. Ok, a few had agua frescas and one of the dudes tried scoring a Diet Coke for his little lady but the damn Mexicans only had full sugar versions.
Hmm, I was just skimming through my feeds and couldn’t help but notice this post from a Food & Wine editorial assistant (#4 of Five Bites Outside of Aspen). It looks like the girl managed to at least choke down half a quesadilla. We must’ve been on different days.
I, too, had a quesadilla on Sunday. And yeah, they’re unnecessarily large (though I handled a whole one no problem). I’d never had a Red Hook version before and was hoping they’d be compact and cheesey like the one I recently had in Mexico City. The Brooklyn ones aren’t really like quesadillas at all since they put tons of stuff in them like lettuce, onions and they don’t stay stuck in a half moon shape because the cheese is only melted to the tortilla and there’s not enough of it. The insides need to be gooey and you really only need one simple filling.
Jeez, I had no idea I was such a street food snob. I’d remedy this with a Subway sandwich taste test, if I could only remember the name of their new supersized product.
Photo from the New York Times article, "The Boys in the Band Are in AARP"
I'm With the Band
Ignoring T.G.I. Friday’s late-to-the-game attempts at small plates, Subway has introduced a new overstuffed behemoth (I can’t find any reference to this on their lame website or on the blogosphere—perhaps I imagined it?). Surely, to compete with Quizno’s girthier sandwiches. Sorry Jared. The commercial that I’ve only seen once initially caught my attention because I’m a sucker for chain food gimmicks, then I became fascinated by one of the eaters, a office lady woman dressed to look younger than she is. Office ladies eat Lean Cuisine, salads and microwave popcorn, not bulging hoagies. But I do appreciate the attempt to include the fairer sex in their marketing ploy.
Another weird ladylike eating habit presented itself to me on Sunday. I was scoping out the now slightly famous Red Hook ball fields. I hadn’t been this year, and wow, it has practically been taken over by South Brooklyn post-college, just barely pre-stroller/SUV set. Live and let live, but I couldn’t ignore the female members of these crews and their approach to a food-centric gathering.
There were a number of groups scattered around the hot grass and precious few shady tables, and they tended to be made up of two or three guys with one girl. The young men were all chowing down on sasquatch-sized huaraches or greasy pupusas while their accompanying gal pal remained empty handed. Ok, a few had agua frescas and one of the dudes tried scoring a Diet Coke for his little lady but the damn Mexicans only had full sugar versions.
Hmm, I was just skimming through my feeds and couldn’t help but notice this post from a Food & Wine editorial assistant (#4 of Five Bites Outside of Aspen). It looks like the girl managed to at least choke down half a quesadilla. We must’ve been on different days.
I, too, had a quesadilla on Sunday. And yeah, they’re unnecessarily large (though I handled a whole one no problem). I’d never had a Red Hook version before and was hoping they’d be compact and cheesey like the one I recently had in Mexico City. The Brooklyn ones aren’t really like quesadillas at all since they put tons of stuff in them like lettuce, onions and they don’t stay stuck in a half moon shape because the cheese is only melted to the tortilla and there’s not enough of it. The insides need to be gooey and you really only need one simple filling.
Jeez, I had no idea I was such a street food snob. I’d remedy this with a Subway sandwich taste test, if I could only remember the name of their new supersized product.
Photo from the New York Times article, "The Boys in the Band Are in AARP"
Going to the Bathroom Like Clockwork Good
Because I’m a sucker for gimmicks, I’ve been eating Activa yogurt since it was launched earlier this year. I’m not exactly wild about yogurt but it’s easy to transport to work, is low in fat and calories (well, that Greek stuff isn’t and that’s probably why it actually tastes good) and this particular product is supposedly filled with good bacteria that they’ve named Bifidus Regularis™ (honestly, I don’t know how you invent a bacteria). Over the years I’ve taken acidophilus (I always thought it was a yeast prevention, but my dad also took it for ages which is kind of strange now that I think about it because he was so not into vitamins or health in general), so I figured why not get more probiotics through food.
But I never gave much thought to the angle Activa was actually pushing until I saw a new flavor at Pathmark this weekend: prune. Prune? I’ve never encountered prune yogurt in my lifetime. Prunes are for pooping, duh. I should’ve looked more closely at their advertising claims bolstered by an illustration of a taut stomach with an arrow pointing downward, “helps naturally regulate your digestive system” and “helps reduce long intestinal transit time.” Ah yes, the dreaded long intestinal transit time (I actually discovered I suffered from such an affliction when I ate baked and ate blue velvet cake and my toilet water shockingly ended up turquoise a full three days later).
So, I’m mildly bothered by eating Metamucil in yogurt form but I’d much prefer this over anything hawked by those horrible Yoplait “getting a foot massage while shoe shopping for chocolate covered heels good” girls.
Veg or Veggies Will Never Cross My Lips
I’ve never been one who gets all crazy over greenmarkets. Produce is ok, but I don’t soil myself over Fairy Tale eggplants or donut peaches. But last week on one of my many free days (after my Spanish lesson, which I’m going to have to quit because I can’t afford them anymore. I’m feeling guilty and haven’t told my tutor yet even though I’m supposed to get back to him today about scheduling the next class. I don’t know why I feel bad about depriving him of income when it’s not like anyone extends such courtesies my direction) I decided to hit Union Square for end of summer corn and heirloom tomatoes.
L
So, over the past few days I’ve gone nuts with vegetables. And yes, I don’t deny that heirloom tomatoes taste a million times better than grocery store balls of red mush but they’re not the types of edibles that I have the wherewithal to track down on a regular basis. The dilemma is that when I have the weekday freedom to leisurely shop for food in non-nearby neighborhoods it’s likely because I’m not at work (there are a hell of a lot of people who don’t seem to have a care in the world. Today while walking to the subway around 1:45pm for my Monday 2:30-11:30 shift the sidewalks were clogged with couples walking dogs and sitting at cafes. Who the hell are these layabouts? And don’t tell me they’re all students or work nights) which means I don’t feel good about spending extra money on organic produce.
Shrugging it Off
New things I discovered on my way to and while in Montreal.
Unfortunately, they just kind of taste like sugar and not much else. I'm not one for declaring anything too sweet or too rich, but these just hurt my teeth. The fact that they've been in my possession for a full week and I've only eaten two is a testament to their lackluster performance as a cookie. To be fair, I don't really like most prepackaged cookies anyway (same with canned soups). When M&Ms went all melting pot and introduced dulce de leche candies, I don't think they were that successful either.
Dark Chocolate Kit Kats: We had these in 2004, but I don't think they've stuck around. Initially, I was confused by two different dark chocolate Kit Kats at Couche-Tard (that name will never cease to make me chuckle). One was noir (just because it was in French) and the other was Xtra or some such. The only clue to their difference was the little picture on the front of the packages. Noir had dark chocolate on the outside and Xtra had dark chocolate and a chocolate wafer, hence the Xtra (I also found out that there's a cinnamon limited edition in Canada). Anyway, they tasted typically Kit Katty. I was hoping they'd be more like British Kit Kats, which use a creamier better tasting chocolate. I don't know why American (and apparently Canadian) mainstream candy bars always taste so bland and waxy.
Cheese: We took our chances on some random cheese from a European type deli that's down the street from Schwartz's whose name I can never remember (we ended up there last time too). I'm sure we could've tracked down more exquisite varieties at a proper fromagerie, but our choices ended up being more remarkable that I would've expected. In fact, I've eaten bread and cheese for dinner the past four evenings. That can't be good for you.
I always have to pick a blue but don't love the extreme sharp styles. Geai Bleu (blue jay) from Brigham, Quebec, just looked mild and it turned out to be smooth and creamy. I also like to have a soft cheese and settled on Cendré des Prés because I couldn't figure out why it had a black stripe through its center. It turns out that's from maple wood ash, which sounds kind of creepy but isn't. James likes straightforward hard cheeses and isn't into adventuring so I talked him into getting a raw milk Comte Juraflore like we'd been served two nights before at Anise. I honestly don't know what the taste difference is between a raw milk and pasteurized variety, but this Comte is crazy-you can't stop at one slice. I should buy an FDA approved wedge for comparison.
Clams & Tomatoes: Interspecies Friends?
The other day I couldn't help but notice the word Clamato staring out at me. Who knew they made Clamato tortilla chips? (They being Poore Brothers, who also make T.G.I. Friday's chips and Cinnabon cookies.) And who on earth would've thought it was a good idea to put them in there? I strongly doubt that it was a request. In the past I've seen handwritten, taped up pleas for more Baked Lays (maybe all those fake fats are the source of the office's apparent bowel incontinence problem). I'm not a chip person, but I am almost curious enough to see if they're really color crayon red like on the package and if they actually taste like tomatoes and clams.
The odd thing is that a bulk of the internet references to this bizarre snack food also mention vending machines so it must be some corporate-geared thing.
Clammy tomato goodness from iamgracie on Flickr.
Slurpees Aren't Even the Half of It
Since there aren’t many 7-Elevens around the city (no, I never got into that brief urban nostalgia craze when they started opening in Manhattan last year), I forget how crazy and full of amazing innovations they are. When I lived in Sunset Park for a few years, I had an On the Run, complete with a small parking lot (atypical for Brooklyn) on the next block. It met the minimal requirements for a convenience store, but they didn’t get too wild with the products (except for the Green Mountain blueberry and pumpkin flavored coffees advertised in the gas station).
I popped in the Bay Ridge 7-Eleven this weekend after a patience trying, but ultimately fruitful Century 21 visit (I’ve really been wanting these green sandals with a cork heel, (they're not jade like in the photo but true color crayon green) but $79 seemed completely overpriced. $59 at Century 21 was still more than I thought was fair, but then I remembered that I had a little birthday pocket cash and all was good). It was a bonanza of bizarre edible inventions. I wish I’d had my camera with me because, duh, a picture is worth a thousand words (and my words aren’t even that worthy). If berry and squash coffees were disturbing, 7-Eleven goes one further with a whole machine devoted to making key lime cappuccino. How did that flavor combo even cross someone’s mind?
Despite not even drinking soda, I was very impressed with their beverage station that was promoting a “flavor blast” concept. You could push a button and choose a squirt of additional flavor like cherry, vanilla or lemon to pep up your Coke, Sierra Mist, whatever. I think vanilla root beer would be nice. It reminded me of how at Farrell’s (I don’t think there are many left in the world) you used to be able to order vanilla, cherry or chocolate cokes that had syrup mixed in.
The P'EatZZa Sandwich is "a marriage made only in 7-Eleven heaven." Well, they said it. I’m more fascinated by the spelling and pronunciation (Puh-Eat-Zuh) of the damn thing than the actual item itself.
There’s nothing novel about selling two-packs of hard boiled eggs, but sometimes simplicity gets you too.
7-Eleven * 301 65th St., Brooklyn, NY
Out with the Old, In with the New
I’m so out of the loop. How could I not know about this new mall development in Glendale? I love me a Queens mall, but there’s something a bit off with The Shops at Atlas Park. For one, I have no idea what half of these stores even are. Crazy for Animals? Amish Fine Food? White House-Black Market?! What the hell? These are not the chains I’m accustomed to. That’s what happens when you build a mall where no subway goes. And Chili’s is no great shakes. They don’t even have a theme. Er, or are baby back ribs their calling card?
After the lack of Sonics anywhere 100 miles from here, I got on an Arby’s bender because they’re another one of those fast food companies that advertises on TV yet has (almost) zero NYC presence. And I’m dying for a beef ‘n cheddar. I used to eat a beef ‘n cheddar and jamocha shake almost every day for lunch as a high school freshman. Oh, and a Cherry Coke and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup in study hall (and I weighed like 70 pounds less then than I do now. No shit. More and more, I’m starting to believe that metabolism slowing with age thing).
A few weeks ago I noticed that they’re building an Arby’s in Middle Village, which makes me happy. But it’s being constructed on the old Niederstein’s spot (scroll to middle of page), which makes me sad because it was the oldest restaurant on Long Island (of course you all know that technically Queens and Brooklyn are on Long Island). Even though the food supposedly sucked, I had every intention of trying Niederstein’s for at least the novelty of an old German hold-out nestled next to a cemetery, while I lived those three years in neighboring Ridgewood. But I never did it. I’ll have to rectify that oversight with a beef ‘n cheddar (don't forget the Horsey Sauce) in the near future.
Old style Arby's hat photo borrowed from tesg's guide to big chain road food consumption.
Bowl Me Over
I know I can't be the only one bothered by KFC's new Famous Bowls. And it's not like I have good taste either (I'm totally fascinated by Crunchwraps and stuffed crust pizza). There's just something very wrong about this overloaded combination. Fried chicken, corn, mashed potatoes and gravy all seem innocent enough when compartmentalized on the plate, so it must be the crowning glory, the three cheese (which three, pray tell?) blend.
The completely unnecessary addition of cheese (hey, except in that stuffed crust) is the hallmark of any good American fast food invention. It's like the recipe developers just weren't satisfied with cramming a typical KFC meal in a bowl and calling it a day (not too long ago Taco Bell went this same route with their Border Bowl). It had to have that extra oomph, and in many cases oomph equals cheese.
My other personal peeve with this dish is that it's one of those crammed convenience meals that might psychologically feel like you're eating less than a normal plate full of food because it's all squished and combined. I like my food to last a long time so superficially it seems more satisfying. I hate how in NYC (or maybe other places too) they serve bagels filled to the gills and halved like a sandwich. I always pull mine apart (and occasionally remove some of the cream cheese-I know, blasphemy) so it takes twice as long to eat. Ok, maybe I'm the one with the problem. I like to eat a lot and it's a trick I can play on myself that works.
I've always had an unabashed problem with mayonnaise, though I will admit to gaining an appreciation for the emulsified spread served with French fries, especially if it's freshly whipped up. I mean, it's just egg and oil, so what's the big deal? I will concede that mayonnaise has its place…in small doses.
Yet, I'm disturbed by Hellman's Easy Out! because it's encouraging excessive use of the questionable condiment, just what I've rallied against for like 30 years. Did consumers really cry out for easier access to mayo? The commercial shows a huge dollop being squeezed onto a wrap, akin to shaking hot sauce on a burrito. Not the same.
Now, squeezable cranberry sauce? That's bizarre on a totally different level. Inoffensive, yet odd.
Bowl Me Over
I know I can't be the only one bothered by KFC's new Famous Bowls. And it's not like I have good taste either (I'm totally fascinated by Crunchwraps and stuffed crust pizza). There's just something very wrong about this overloaded combination. Fried chicken, corn, mashed potatoes and gravy all seem innocent enough when compartmentalized on the plate, so it must be the crowning glory, the three cheese (which three, pray tell?) blend.
The completely unnecessary addition of cheese (hey, except in that stuffed crust) is the hallmark of any good American fast food invention. It's like the recipe developers just weren't satisfied with cramming a typical KFC meal in a bowl and calling it a day (not too long ago Taco Bell went this same route with their Border Bowl). It had to have that extra oomph, and in many cases oomph equals cheese.
My other personal peeve with this dish is that it's one of those crammed convenience meals that might psychologically feel like you're eating less than a normal plate full of food because it's all squished and combined. I like my food to last a long time so superficially it seems more satisfying. I hate how in NYC (or maybe other places too) they serve bagels filled to the gills and halved like a sandwich. I always pull mine apart (and occasionally remove some of the cream cheese-I know, blasphemy) so it takes twice as long to eat. Ok, maybe I'm the one with the problem. I like to eat a lot and it's a trick I can play on myself that works.
I've always had an unabashed problem with mayonnaise, though I will admit to gaining an appreciation for the emulsified spread served with French fries, especially if it's freshly whipped up. I mean, it's just egg and oil, so what's the big deal? I will concede that mayonnaise has its place…in small doses.
Yet, I'm disturbed by Hellman's Easy Out! because it's encouraging excessive use of the questionable condiment, just what I've rallied against for like 30 years. Did consumers really cry out for easier access to mayo? The commercial shows a huge dollop being squeezed onto a wrap, akin to shaking hot sauce on a burrito. Not the same.
Now, squeezable cranberry sauce? That's bizarre on a totally different level. Inoffensive, yet odd.
Newborns: Cake & Pretzels
I’ve recently discovered two new treats that have made my day. (And no, Coca-Cola BlaK isn’t on my list, though I actually like it better than plain cola which isn’t saying much because most cola type beverages upset me.).
Entenmann’s Ultimate Celebration Cake
It practically jumped off the shelf at me at Western Beef. Really, it’s just a yellow cake with chocolate frosting and circular sprinkles, but it’s so damn festive. It brought me joy on three separate occasions in the past week or so (that’s the benefit of junky preservative-laden snacks—they keep in the fridge for abnormal lengths of time). Watching Sunday night HBO can be a celebration, managing to make it to six o’clock without hurting others (or yourself) can be a celebration. Life can be one big freaking celebration. Thank you, Entenmann’s.
Snyder’s of Hanover Hot Buffalo Wing Pieces
Pretz has nothing over Snyder's. They already make those peculiar ochre honey mustard nubs that I find disgustingly tasty. They must put something extra in those artificial flavors to increase appetite. I’m able to resist Dorrito dust, but Cheeto powder has an allure. Wasabi peas too—I can eat a whole bag in one sitting, and almost did just that on Sunday.
But buffalo wing pretzels?! Is buffalo flavor the new ranch? That’s outrageous. The pretzel cubes are shocking orange and initially too tangy, but then you get a little spice and the vinegary quality is mitigated when the blander pretzel middle breaks open and mixes in your mouth. Not bad. And next thing you know, you’ve reached into the bag like ten times. Just imagine dipping these pieces in blue cheese dressing.
Asian Persuasion
I'm not sure that I'm loving it. I'm always willing and able to taste test a new fast food salad. And I'm a sucker for anything Asian. But, as I'm sure you know these "Asian" salads (Wendy's has had one for a while, though I've only tried it once) are eerily sweet and crunchy concoctions formerly known as Oriental. I think mandarin oranges means Oriental, right?
I rarely eat at McDonald's, and I find the menu baffling. If you don't want a value meal, you're mildly screwed. I hate soda, so I like to order a cheeseburger and fries a la carte, which is no easy feat but doable. The salads, however, aren't listed anywhere on the menu. I know they have four choices because I've looked online like a freak. The only hint that they sell even salads is the one color ad touting the Asian salad, Dasani water combo with a free exercise DVD. Nowhere can you see how much the salad costs by itself or what other options are available, and that's fundamentally irritating.
The chicken comes glazed with a sweet and sour orange sauce, so you already have a tangy, sugary component. If you use the entire packet of Newman's Own Low Fat Sesame Ginger dressing, you're in for a zingy not-so-pleasant surprise. I could barely slog through the chunks of white iceberg because my tongue was being zapped with citric jolts, and I only used about ? of the packet.
The edamame were a nice touch. I did like the slivered almonds, and prefer them to Wendy's crispy noodles (oh, I just checked-Wendy's has almonds and noodles-no wonder it's higher fat). Wendy's also wins out for using fresher greens and offering a slightly larger portion. Granted, salads aren't necessarily intended as hearty fare, but I don't want to be starving a few hours later, either. I might actually give it another go when I'm feeling particularly cheap and calorie conscious, but I'll by hyper diligent about portioning that damn dressing.
Oh, have you seen McDonald's i-am-asian section? It's not hideous and patronizing like it used to be. Now it's just kind of fun (yes, I find this kind of promotional crap fun) and informational. 365Black and LoMcximo, I'm not so sure about.
Asian Persuasion
I'm not sure that I'm loving it. I'm always willing and able to taste test a new fast food salad. And I'm a sucker for anything Asian. But, as I'm sure you know these "Asian" salads (Wendy's has had one for a while, though I've only tried it once) are eerily sweet and crunchy concoctions formerly known as Oriental. I think mandarin oranges means Oriental, right?
I rarely eat at McDonald's, and I find the menu baffling. If you don't want a value meal, you're mildly screwed. I hate soda, so I like to order a cheeseburger and fries a la carte, which is no easy feat but doable. The salads, however, aren't listed anywhere on the menu. I know they have four choices because I've looked online like a freak. The only hint that they sell even salads is the one color ad touting the Asian salad, Dasani water combo with a free exercise DVD. Nowhere can you see how much the salad costs by itself or what other options are available, and that's fundamentally irritating.
The chicken comes glazed with a sweet and sour orange sauce, so you already have a tangy, sugary component. If you use the entire packet of Newman's Own Low Fat Sesame Ginger dressing, you're in for a zingy not-so-pleasant surprise. I could barely slog through the chunks of white iceberg because my tongue was being zapped with citric jolts, and I only used about ? of the packet.
The edamame were a nice touch. I did like the slivered almonds, and prefer them to Wendy's crispy noodles (oh, I just checked-Wendy's has almonds and noodles-no wonder it's higher fat). Wendy's also wins out for using fresher greens and offering a slightly larger portion. Granted, salads aren't necessarily intended as hearty fare, but I don't want to be starving a few hours later, either. I might actually give it another go when I'm feeling particularly cheap and calorie conscious, but I'll by hyper diligent about portioning that damn dressing.
Oh, have you seen McDonald's i-am-asian section? It's not hideous and patronizing like it used to be. Now it's just kind of fun (yes, I find this kind of promotional crap fun) and informational. 365Black and LoMcximo, I'm not so sure about.
I Say Pressata, You Say Frescata
Laugh all you want about my Wendy's salads, but my Garden Sensations kick that had started to dwindle has been renewed by their new chicken spinach version. No, it's not the most amazing thing you?ve ever tasted. But I daresay it's the least offensive and most filling salad under five bucks in the E. 50s. Spinach, romaine (no, it's not all spinach--that would freak fast foodies out), cubed chicken, bacon bits, hard boiled egg, grape tomatoes, croutons and sweet and sour bacon dressing, and it's ten points (yes, I'm shamefully admitting to semi-following a Weight Watchers regimen. I would never mention this at work because I can?t stand point-tallying office ladies with their Splenda and microwave popcorn full of hydrogenated fat, even though I'm a points counter who works in an office with lots of women) which isn't bad for a salad with "stuff" in it, and less if you omit the croutons and use half the dressing.
Ha, I see Wendy's has finally jumped on the "gourmet" sandwich bandwagon. Surprisingly, these Frescatas aren?t pressed Panini-style, which I thought was all the rage on lunch menus. I should start a contest to find the best made up faux Italian name for a sandwich. Pax (is Europa Caf the same thing?their menu looks the same) across the street has a Pressata. I'm sure that's just the beginning.
Crumbelievable
What is up with all the new cheesey commercials (pun totally intended) using decades-old one-hit-wonders? Modern English’s “Melt With You” is not so cleverly being used by Ritz Crackers. I guess it’s been a while now, probably ’97 or so, when they used this same some for Burger King. It’s bad enough when music gets subverted this way, but it’s double annoying when more than one brand attaches their name to a tune, even if it’s eight years later (Currently, there’s a Geico ad where the gecko is made to do a robot dance and I don’t know what song is in the background, but it’s also used in a Revlon commercial). Maybe I’m just hypersensitive because this is the kind of request I’d get at work, making sure that a new ad doesn’t copy older ones. I'm sure my searches aren't exhaustive, but it's not that hard to avoid aping.
But the “Melt With You” inanity is nothing compared to EMF’s (does Kraft know what the acronym stands for?) “Unbelievable” morphing into “Crumbelievable” as a soundtrack to bouncing, tumbling Cheese Crumbles. I absolutely loathed that song when it was ubiquitous on the airwaves, so my reaction has nothing to do with nostalgia or an aversion to sellouts. Perhaps it has more to do with how my gender and age puts me in the mommy demographic who would presumably respond favorably to this ditty, and that makes me feel like hurling orange processed dairy chunks.
I can’t wait until they use “Who Let the Dogs Out” for Ballpark Franks. Um, they haven’t done that yet, have they?
Nights in Purple Satin
This past weekend at Target I was almost able to recapture the original joy I felt when first discovered purple spooky cat Peeps. Always a sucker for new merchandising gimmicks, I couldn’t resist the Peeps cat purple satin pillow. I don’t know if this is a new product or not, but I’d never seen it before. Never mind how disturbing it is to be faced with aisles of Halloween candy when it’s still mid-80s and humid, I still bought the cat (and somehow refrained from the sweets).
As I’ve said probably a million times before, I’m not much of a soda person (I wish I could say the same for other sweet junk food). I don’t feel the urge to drink many brands, but Jones Sodas always look so appealing that I couldn’t resist also picking up a mini four-pack of Halloween caramel apple flavor at Target. I had no trouble leaving the candy corn flavor on the shelf, however.
Wonka & Whoppers
I killed two sassy limited edition birds with one stone, and served both Chocolicious Wonka Cakes and Vanilla Milkshake Whoppers (they also had strawberry, but I had to draw the line) at my birthday. I think guests were more scared than enticed. Not everyone is a slave to short lived snack items like I am. That’s fine.
I thought they did a nice job with the purple icing and filling. It’s hard to get the purple dye right for some reason, the same goes with paint and eye shadow. Instead of brilliant and pretty it tends to end up dull and grayed-out. When Peeps put out purple marshmallow cats a few years ago, the results were unintentionally spooky.
Joy to Behold
I thought those pina colada Almond Joys I found awhile back were as wild as it got, but at a friend’s birthday party I was treated to miniature key lime versions. Classy. Well, no one seemed to be eating them except me, as the consensus was that they were gross. The yellowish, off-white chocolate was slightly off-putting. So, of course I stuffed handfuls into my purse like the desperate bag lady that I am. I only regret not taking more.
According to their less than exciting website, passion fruit has also been given the limited edition treatment. Who knew?
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