American | Goodies First

Feb 24

Mother’s

That Ferdi special was just too much, even for a hungry girl like me. If
I learned one thing in my mere two days in New Orleans, it's to stick with
the seafood po boys. The turtle soup was also pleasant. My only regret is
not having room for dessert–those pies looked amazing. I've never seen such
large, firm healthy slices. (2/24/02)

Yay for poor boys (or po boys, I just feel funny saying and typing po),
and only a block from our hotel. The famous Ferdi special almost killed me
last time, so I just stuck with the shrimp poor boy this time around. In
fact, I don't think I branched out from the shrimp poor boy anywhere we
sampled the sandwich. They're always just so good that I know I wont be
disappointed.

The only thing I couldn't figure out at Mother's is the middle-aged guy
called Elvis who hangs out at the restaurant. I don't think hes an employee,
though there were plenty of old photos of him gracing the walls.
(7/11/04)

Mother's * 401 Poydras St., New Orleans, LA

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Feb 23

Central Grocery Company

I never knew what a muffuletta could be (or was exactly, for that matter).
This Italian grocery knows how to make a sandwich. A whole round of bread,
crammed with salami, provolone, olives and other marinated goodies, makes a
beautiful oily mess. Wash it down (I dare you to eat more than half) with
Barq's in a bottle for a gratifying experience. (2/23/02)

I've never tried a muffaletta anywhere else but here, so it's not as if
I have a broad range of experience to compare with. But I like to believe
this is the quintessential version. I'm not even sure why it's a New Orleans
specialty, there's nothing particularly Cajun about it. In fact, the massive
sandwich would be right at home in my own heavily Italian-American
neighborhood, Carroll Gardens. Around these parts, they make some fine oily,
meaty, cheesy sandwiches, alright, but it's the olive salad that really adds
something. Or maybe its the bread. Or the swampy air? There's just something
about a muffaletta. (7/13/04)

CentralGrocery Company * 923 Decatur St., New Orleans,LA

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Feb 22

La Peniche

My first meal in New Orleans was not a disappointment. I picked the oyster
po boy, and was minorly baffled when they asked, "do you want that dressed?"
I love going places where you don't know the dining procedures. The hardest
decision involved picking dessert off the hand-written dry–erase board
(there were three in the small space and the odd thing is that each of the
10-12 choices were written in different colors, yet the same corresponding
color on each board. Someone is anal about the daily specials). And it's an
impressive roster of sweets too. Oreo pie, pineapple upside-down cake, sweet
potato pecan pie, turtle cheesecake, and peanut butter chocolate chip pie.
Try getting those in NYC–sometimes we're too sophisticated for our own
good. (2/22/02)

I hadn't realized how gay and how large the clientele was on our
previous visit. I started wondering if there wasn't some kinky feeder/gainer fetish
occurring in front of my eyes. Not that I was prevented from enjoying my
food. The front door was locked and you had to be let in, something to do
with some criminal maniac loose in the neighborhood. How would the person
who let you in know whether or not you were the criminal? Bizarre, and very
un-NYC. Don't quote me on this, but I swear there was also a machete right
near the door. For protection, I assume.(7/04)

La Peniche * 1940 Dauphine St., New Orleans,LA

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Feb 16

White Castle

I can't believe I've never mentioned White Castle here. I guess I haven't
really kept track of fast food or pizza since it all blurs together. But
White Castle is a horse of a different color. The most frequented location
is in Williamsburg, but I also live a block from one (though I eat there
less frequently–I don't feel right eating it alone, it seems sort of sad
and destructive like drinking by yourself rather than socially). I first got
on my W.C. kick when they were doing a funny Craveology promotion and I
tried to collect all 12 plastic cups. I haven't noticed any remarkable ad
campaigns lately, but now I'm hooked and there's no going back. (2/16/02)

White Castle *
Metropolitan Ave. or Fourth Ave., Brooklyn, NY

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Jan 18

America

Closed: I'm surprised it took this long for American to wither away.
(6/6/05)

Is this vast, oddly-muraled, noisy space for tourists? Parties? Groups?
Kids? Me? I'm not sure the target audience. America strikes me as one of
those places that may have been big before my time. No, not like the '60s,
I'm talking mid-90s.

The 50 states are represented by the obvious like crab cakes (Maryland)
or the invented warm duck salad with soba, watercress and toasted macadamia
nuts (uh, Hawaii). Sometimes they push it a bit. The portions are large, the
prices aren't completely unreasonable and the food is pleasingly mediocre
(not bad, just middling).

My main beef with places like this (Mars 2112 is another in this
category) is their use of the carrot, broccoli and zucchini vegetable
medley, which could only come out of a frozen bag. It's like my mom's in the
kitchen–and speaking of mom, America is exactly where I'd take an
unadventurous visiting parent.

America * 9 E.18th St., New York, NY

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Jan 14

Dawgs on Park

1/2

First off, I should state that I'm not a big fan of hot dogs. Even at
Nathan's I opt for the cheese fries (love the little plastic red spear). But
since I see hot dogs as one of 2002's big culinary trends, it was my duty to
try at least one of the new kids on the block (Criff Dogs, around the
corner, will have to wait).

The sweet and sour dog with sauerkraut and a tangy onion relish seemed
good enough. We also got a side of cheese fries, not realizing that the
special dogs come with a side of fries anyway. Oh well, a girl can never
have too much starch. Satisfactory, though not stellar. But once again, this
is coming from a non-connoisseur of hot dogs.

Dawgs on Park * 178 7th St., New York, NY

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Jan 1

IHOP Elizabeth

I never would've guessed that my first meal of the year would be at an IHOP. Especially since IHOPs are few and far between around these parts. I'm not even a big fan of pancakes, but I became a victim of suggestion from the first minute I laid my eyes on their pecan pie pancakes commercial.

I had to find an IHOP ASAP, and a New Year's Day excursion to IKEA seemed as good an excuse as any. I promptly checked Yahoo yellow pages for Elizabeth, and whoo hoo, there was an IHOP only one mile away from IKEA, estimated driving time two minutes.

Yeah right. When they say to use the Yahoo maps only as a guide, they're not joking. Apparently the directions from IKEA to IHOP were calculated from a completely different starting point, who knows where. But after a good solid hour of driving around the sketchy bits of Elizabeth, winding here, turning there, we found the goddamn IHOP, nowhere near IKEA and at least 5-10 miles in a totally different direction than pictured.

All this and they didn't even have the pecan pie pancakes. Not that I should've been surprised. Restaurants that are perfectly run of the mill and moderately respectable in the rest of the U.S. are always trash heaps with no regard for advertised specials in print or on TV in the NYC area. You don't even know how much disappointment ensued from the mysterious absence of the "Never Ending Pasta Bowl" on the Time's Square Olive Garden's menu.

IHOP * Elizabeth, NJ

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Jan 1

IHOP

I never would've guessed that my first meal of the year would be at an IHOP. Especially since IHOPs are few and far between around these parts. I'm not even a big fan of pancakes, but I became a victim of suggestion from the first minute I laid my eyes on their pecan pie pancakes commercial.

I had to find an IHOP ASAP, and a New Year's Day excursion to IKEA seemed as good an excuse as any. I promptly checked Yahoo yellow pages for Elizabeth, and whoo hoo, there was an IHOP only one mile away from IKEA, estimated driving time two minutes.

Yeah right. When they say to use the Yahoo maps only as a guide, they're not joking. Apparently the directions from IKEA to IHOP were calculated from a completely different starting point, who knows where. But after a good solid hour of driving around the sketchy bits of Elizabeth, winding here, turning there, we found the goddamn IHOP, nowhere near IKEA and at least 5-10 miles in a totally different direction than pictured.

All this and they didn't even have the pecan pie pancakes. Not that I should've been surprised. Restaurants that are perfectly run of the mill and moderately respectable in the rest of the U.S. are always trash heaps with no regard for advertised specials in print or on TV in the NYC area. You don't even know how much disappointment ensued from the mysterious absence of the "Never Ending Pasta Bowl" on the Time's Square Olive Garden's menu.

IHOP * Elizabeth, NJ

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Nov 25

Mars 2112

This Paramount-owned, sci-fi "eatertainment" establishment scares me a bit.
Back in the day, well '98 when I first moved here, a zine-friend visited
from S.F. and wanted to check out Mars 2112. She reported that it looked all
slick, mysterious and intimidating at first glance. But upon further
inspection it turned out to be an intergalactic, kiddy theme restaurant. We
were not deterred. This was in my tightwad, no-money-to-spare days (funny,
sounds just like these days) so I was a little nervous about throwing money
away on overpriced pizzas and "marstinis," but you've got to throw caution
to the wind in the name of novelty sometimes.

Mom and the stepdude saw an ad and wanted to visit. It's the king of
out-of-towner restaurants. Really. I don't think they knew what they were in
for. An immediate tip off is the warning posted about high blood pressure
and pregnancy near the interactive ride to the dining area. I got a little
nervous (last time we went through a back way). If you make it through the
simulated ride to Mars, you'll be treated to roaming aliens in the dining
room and piped in Dead or Alive tunes. Ack, scary. Rosie O'Donnell
reportedly loves the place, and if it's good enough for Rosie
O'Donnell–hold on–that's the scary part.

Mars 2112 * 1633
Broadway, New York, NY

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Nov 24

Harley-Davidson Cafe

Maybe it was because I wasn't in the highest of spirits the day of my visit,
but the prospect of a theme restaurant didn't give me the rush I've come to
expect. It was a concession to the stepdude, husband of my mother. I'm all
for keeping him quiet and happy, and besides, he paid. It's food, food, you
know. Burgers, sandwiches and pastas priced about $3-$4 over their true
worth. It's all about atmosphere, right? The funny thing is that I've never
really associated D2's "New Moon on Monday" with bikers. You live and you
learn.

Closed: who knows when?

Harley-DavidsonCafe *
1370 Avenue of the Americas, NewYork, NY

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