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Dec 29

Newborn: Emoji Burger

 

emoji burger da wink

Yes, so there is a new burger joint in Jackson Heights. And yes, the patty is a Pat LaFrieda blend of some sort. Aaand, if you were to believe neighborhood chatter, we now have our very own Shake Shack (or maybe even Minetta Tavern, or Spotted Pig…joke).

emoji burger interior

Um, what we have so far is a  perfectly fine fast food burger in a fast food setting. And in neither the Shake Shack nor In-n-Out mold, which is ok since Queens does get its first standalone Shake Shack tomorrow. (Or styled after Umami for that matter–despite the mildly similar name, I actually believe this story about the name coming to the owner after praying, and I would be surprised if Umami had name recognition with more than 10% of anyone in Jackson Heights.)

emoji burger cross section

I intended to get the most basic burger, which still contains so-called emoji aioli, on my first visit even though I really wanted the “Thums Up” with ham and pineapple, yet still ended up with bacon and a sesame seed bun (non-sesame buns are Martin’s potato rolls) otherwise known as “Da Wink.” I just wanted to taste the beef, which was difficult. There is this push-pull where there is almost too much going on, bu t at the same time nothing melds. Like all the components stayed separate when the cheeseburger needs to ooze and reanimate into a delicious whole. By the way, medium is standard, and you can ask for medium-rare (I did and I wasn’t ignored) though the it doesn’t make a huge difference with this thinner style of patty.

emoji burger facade

I also had small fries, freshly cut, and plain if that needs specifying because loaded fries are really a thing around here. If I ever get burnt out on “panda fries,” I’ll be set with Emoji’s choice of Emo, Cheese, Pio, or O’Le, all with various cheeses, meats, alliums, and sauces.

Emoji Burger * 80-07 37th Ave., Jackson Heights, NY 

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Dec 28

Dani’s House of Pizza: Pesto Slice

Always the best part of getting my hair cut in Kew Gardens. @danishouseofpizza #queens4lyfe #pizza #queens #kewgardens

A photo posted by Krista Garcia (@goodiesfirst) on

Roughly every three months for roughly the past year I have Instagrammed a photo that looks almost exactly like the one above.

Dani’s slice is a fine slice. Of course it is a sweet slice (for the first time on this visit I noticed a female staffer in a t-shirt proudly stating #sweetsauce, yes, hashtag sweetsauce, so they are really owning it). But really I’ve been biding my time, waiting for the fabled pesto pie to make an appearance. One Saturday afternoon, the two teens in front of my got the last slices. I wasn’t mad. Other times I’ve been told it’ll be a 20 minute wait, and I always eat in, and eat slow, and I’ve yet to witness fresh pesto pie made or emerge from the oven.

dani's pesto slice

BUT this time as I was wrapping up, taking my last bites, having timed my beer perfectly, full, and needing to make it to the bus to Trader Joe’s before closing, out came the pesto. A big moon made of green cheese resting hot next to my arm.

I looked around, marveled that there were two women occupying the stools to my left, one who seemed lost and had traveled from the UES via the LIRR like a real journey on the way to a reading, which I did not know they did in Kew Gardens, the other in  a leather mini and a Hoegaarden with a glass who clearly knew what she was doing, and figured it was a sign. So, another slice, another beer, happy holidays. Soon we all had cheesy triangles speckled with basil and garlic, flopping on paper plates in front of us.

Dani’s House of Pizza * 81-28 Lefferts Blvd., Kew Gardens, NY

 

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Dec 27

Eaten, Barely Blogged: Italian, American, French

don antonio's pizza

Don Antonio I was vaguely aware of this Neapolitan pizza place’s existence in midtown west but not enough for it ever to jar me into doing something about it. I mean, it’s not a secret. Guy Fieri is boldly featured in its Facebook cover photo, despite being neither a diner, drive-in, nor dive. It attracts a theater crowd mixed with tourists and looks a little hairier than it is in reality, if you don’t have a reservation. I was just feeling super pizza-deprived in my neighborhood and and wanted a really good crust and beyond basic toppings walkable from my office. This was it. The Macellaio is all kinds of meaty with sausage, prosciutto, salami, and sliced porchetta strategically placed. No one will stop you from getting a white pie teeming with arugula either. Would return.

Eastlands initially gave me 1 Knickerbocker vibes, which who even remembers that and it was a solid two years ago which may as well be two decades in Bushwick time. All I mean is a restaurant with good intentions that everyone is probably going to treat as a bar…because it looks like a bar. I only had snacks, so no serious judgments on the menu, which looks fairly ambitious (er, though now I can’t cite a single item from memory and appears to have zero presence online). Here, short rib sliders and pumpkin fritters with dip somewhere between a pesto and chimichurri.

Le Garage, on the other hand, feels fully formed out of the gate. Honestly, being French, short menu or not, in a burger and pizza (yes, some good burgers and pizzas) neighborhood doesn’t hurt. The mother and daughter team helps too. There are salmon rillettes, escargot come in confited potatoes, leeks are cooked down in that great silky way, dressed with vinaigrette and garnished with fried capers and egg whites, and cheese, of course.

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Dec 25

Un-American Activities: Have Yourself a Kentucky Little Christmas

It turns out that #KentuckyChristmas is real cornucopia on Instagram.

I went looking for this:

But was also treated to this:

Tell me more…

Day 7 Bright #decemberphotochallenge #bright #lightsunderlouisville #kentuckychristmas

A photo posted by Karen Stratton (@karen.stratton) on

Sweet.

It’s Kentucky cookies, Y’all! #kentucky #kentuckyhome #kentuckychristmas #cookies #cookiecutter #baking #lexington #sharethelex

A photo posted by Kentucky Everything (@kentuckyeverything) on

Cute.

A photo posted by Becky Eaton Creech (@antbecca) on

Cute and sweet?

#kentuckychristmas

A photo posted by Kelly Snowden (@ksnowds) on

Ok, bye.

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Dec 22

Newborn: Arby’s Manhattan

arby's quad

Manhattan chains aren’t like their outer borough brethren. For one, they don’t get flashy microsites and bus tours of Katz’s and Ottomanelli & Sons promoting the same roast beef the rest of the country consumes to little fanfare.

They also fit into their natural surroundings pretty well even if they don’t last. Who even recalls the Manhattan Mall Arby’s? The new iteration that opened last week is next to Port Authority, sharing the same corridor as Manhattan’s only White Castle and the McDonald’s long-formed so wonderfully earlier this year.

In Brooklyn, they take over Gage & Tollner before disappearing. In Middle Village, they flatten Niederstein’s and quietly persevere. (Unrelated to Arby’s, the latest old-school Queens German restaurant to die and transition is Chalet Alpina into Peruvian La Coya. I was curious about the Pisco bar when I walked by last week to see if anything was going on in the former Sizzler–nope, and I nearly shed a tear–but there wasn’t a soul inside.)

arby's lunch

So how is the food? Do you need me to tell you? It’s Arby’s; you get it or you don’t. I went rogue, which for me meant non-Beef ‘n Cheddar. At the last minute, I went premium and chose what I thought was the A.1. Special Reserve Steak Sandwich instead. I had my reasons. (Ok, I’ll tell you one. It was to impress a guy on social media who I’m already friends with. He never acknowledged it, but I’m pretty sure he noticed that I was eating the sandwich he posted on my timeline two months ago. Yep.)

But now that I’m looking at the menu what I ate was definitely not that limited edition sandwich because A.1 branding is nowhere to be seen, and also someone clearly fucked up because by deduction, the only sandwich involving bacon and crispy onions is the Smokehouse Brisket and that’s also supposed to include smoked Gouda and this contained no cheese whatsoever, when really it needed more creamy salt and fat, and now I’m angry at Arby’s, day 2 in operation (on my visit) or not.

Ok, I just calmed down. One unique feature of the Manhattan Arby’s is breakfast. (It’s no Taco Bell, however.) In fact, there are four whole categories devoted to the not-that-important-meal-of-the-day: sliders, flatbreads, biscuits, and premium biscuits, served with coffee from Brooklyn Roasting Company, which honestly I can’t tell if it’s a pseudo or legit beanery or what. I never eat fast food breakfast, but I may just pick up a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit tomorrow if I can make it by 10:30am since it’s the eve of Christmas Eve and I don’t really have to go to the office.

Arby’s * 611 Eighth Ave., New York, NY 

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Dec 16

Americana

 

For years I’ve vowed to stop being so restaurant-y, at least here, because who cares, and go full-on freakshow. I mean, what else is the point of a blog on the cusp of 2016. Twitter or Instagram is where one performs. I don’t want to talk about Snapchat or Vine.

I’ve tried writing two short off-the-cuff takes on a few new Bushwick restaurants for days now (never mind the 25 800-word pieces on a much drier subject that I have due the first week of January for real) and just can’t get the words out, partially because I’m not amped-up but mostly because I’ve started taking migraine medicine that makes me really stupid and also makes me not care that it takes half an hour to write one paragraph (and if it’s anything like before I gave up on it last time in June, it also eventually makes me not that hungry, which is a little weird).

While I couldn’t write about two restaurants, I did see two press releases that I wanted to say had something to do with each other. Both involved an American brand and an foreign pizza chain with an odd name. Domino’s buying Joey’s (German) and something about Subway and Kotipizza (Finland). That’s as far as I got. It’s a confusing time we live in.

Actually, I just got a baby step farther in a different direction. Kotipizza makes a pizza called the Americana and it’s a Hawaiian with blue cheese and I would eat that in a heartbeat. The New Mexico Monster is something else that also exists.

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