Kind of cute, kind of not. The Dunkin' Donuts coffee cup is sort of the best. Just testing how Pinterest posts work on blogs. Follow me there, by the way, if that's your thing. I'm only a sporadic user.
Source: nylonmag.com via Krista on Pinterest
About
The Scoop
In fourth grade someone got the bright idea of cutting lunch to an outrageous 15 minutes (as if going to a year-round school without a cafeteria wasn't enough--we ate at our desks and were served by mobile carts in the hall). To get the slow eaters (me) up to speed, our teachers implemented a charming little policy called "Shovel Time."
The first nine minutes would pass normally. Then as the tenth approached, Miss Stauffer (a feathered-haired gal who drove a Camaro and loved Little River Band) would yell, "Do you know what time it is?!" The class would manically shriek back, "SHOVEL TIME!!!" Talking was absolutely forbidden the final five minutes—it was a deathly silent scarf fest.
I don't know if I've ever been the same since. But as a nod to this classy ritual, I've adopted the humble scooping implement as my rating system's icon. Shovel on!
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1 Shovel=Passing Fancy
2 Shovels=Puppy Love
3 Shovels=Crippling Crush
4 Shovels=Serious Stalking
Picture This
Where Pesto Has Failed to Infiltrate
So so much to be gleaned from this WSJ article on the quirks of chain restaurant diners (none terribly surprising, but still) plus it managed to use both palate and palette (correctly) a feat as enjoyable as when a character in a movie says the name of the movie.
Olive Garden eaters are turned off by the saltiness of capers and the er, greenness of pesto (I thought that condiment went mainstream around 1990, along with sun-dried tomatoes and hummus--the latter currently being tested at T.G.I. Friday’s), won’t eat pears and Gorgonzola or gnocchi, refuse to part with that frosted salad bowl from another era (that era when pesto became a part of the American diet), and love cheese and chicken more than life itself. Pretty much they’re the worst people on earth.
Applebee’s and T.G.I. Friday’s customers are wilder because they’ll eat okra, ahi tuna and hard boiled eggs cut into wedges. Romano’s Macaroni Grill diners are rich and less scared of Italian food. Why have I not been there yet?
Despite the lowest common denominator approaches employed, the brands are not unaware that more adventurous diners are turned off by the chain staples.
"'We always have to be careful to not always offer cheesy, chickeny things and pastay things,' because such dishes might push away customers with more advanced palates, says John Caron, president of Olive Garden."
As a result, Olive Gardens offers a non-fried, pasta-less, cheese-free bouillabaisse-type seafood dish that costs more than average ($16.25, which I’m sure is not the NYC price--ok, it's $23. 95 in Times Square, which is why chains are best experienced in their natural habitats) and that no one orders. The brodetto is for advanced palates only.
The Philly Phanatics
Kraft’s attempts to integrate cream cheese into dishes where it has no right being has not been lost on me, nor Businessweek. (Do I really have to call it Bloomberg Businessweek?)
What I didn’t realize was that all this kraftiness has the makings of an international incident. Cream cheese is not just being recommended for our All-American soups and casseroles—the white plague originated overseas!
In 2008 the brand realized that its biggest users in Western Europe weren’t just treating the product as spread, but as an ingredient, so the company solicited user recipes, which resulted in freakshows like “Thai Spiced Philadelphia Prawns” and “Middle Eastern Lamb Pies.”
Now it all makes sense. We are feeling the repercussions of cuisines that put quark in their curries, as in the recipe found in the German women’s magazine I read on my flight back from Berlin. Frankly, I’d rather we borrow from nations that put corn and mayonnaise on their pizza.
Just be thankful that Philly Indulgence, a cream cheese-chocolate spread already available in Europe, will arrive here next month instead of other Kraft experiments like grapefruit smoothies and a Vegemite blend.
Photo: German Snack Mania
Planet Hollywood, Thinly Disguised
While I should be excited about Demi Monde, a real cocktail bar, opening kitty-corner from my office, my curiosity was also peaked by reports (ok, my boyfriend who also works in the neighborhood) of a new food court bar.
And indeed, Earl’s Court, home to a Billy’s Bakery, The Original SoupMan, and Earl of Sandwich, does have a lounge: Libations 101. Soothingly generic with sparsely populated communal tables, mostly $7.50 drinks, and happy hour specials, it’s not any worse than the ubiquitous Irish pubs that make up the majority of nearby drinking options.
There was something distinctly chain-y, or possibly Asian mall and/or hotel-ish about the curtained-off room (the food court isn’t open for dinner) and I was proven semi-correct when the bill for my two blue cheese-stuffed-olive martinis was dropped off. Planet Hollywood!
I should’ve known. The Earl of the court and of the sandwich, happens to be restaurateur Robert Earl. Per last month’s press release: "As the public's taste in food court offerings evolves beyond burgers and reheated pizza we have created a modern alternative with a diverse array of progressive and innovative eateries. There is no place I would rather debut our first Earl's Court than New York City."
Mostly I liked that despite the inoffensive electronic music lending the Asian mall/hotel vibe, that in the bathroom the Bosom Buddies theme song, a.k.a. Billy Joel's "My Life" was loudly playing. Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone...
What Food Brands & Associations Have to Say About Thanksgiving
Pie is the hardest dessert to make from scratch, say 59% of Americans in Crisco's National Pie Survey.
But you must have pie because Pillsbury found that it's the "number-one treat for the holidays." Ninety-four percent of Americans will eat a slice of pie during the holidays, and no shock, pumpkin is the favorite. I was actually surprised that 59% of holiday bakers are under 35, though.
Not surprisingly, the makers of Hormel™ Country Crock® sides managed to get a majority of Americans (51%) to admit that they prefer sides over the main dish. I agree that turkey is blech, but I don't know if I'm persuaded to pick up a tub of bacon ranch mashed potatoes yet.
According to the National Shooting Sports Foundation close to 2.8 million pounds of game meat was donated by hunters to the less fortunate last year—and this is vaguely tied to Thanksgiving. By region, 46.1% came from the Midwest, 45.7% from the South, 7.2% from the Northeast, and a pathetic 1% from the West. Maybe they’re just hoarding venison for themselves in Oregon (they would).
The Hearth, Patio & Barbecue Association (HPBA) reports that 15% of Americans cook part of their Thanksgiving meal outdoors, up 9% from 2009.
If I have it my way, this year I will be dining out for Thanksgiving (as opposed to last year's sitting on the couch alone watching TV all day, no different than any Thursday--I'm doing it right now) and so will 14 million Americans, the National Restaurant Association reports. That's only 6% of Americans overall, though.
Feline Good in the Neighborhood
I love cats and bathroom humor (not crazy about cleaning cat crap off the floor daily) and I don’t hate Applebee’s, but I’m not sure if a QR code-triggered cat talking about pooping will distract hungry lunchers during the 14-minute-or-less wait promised by the company.
Or is that 14 minutes for the entire lunch? I never eat my food fast enough for servers who always bring my entrée when I’ve barely taken a bite of any appetizers.
I’ll take TableCat over the rapping office workers, though.
The Affineur's Art
Blur’s bassist Alex James has a new line of cheeses at Asda. One is ketchup-flavored (one is meant to taste like salad cream...hurl).
Both processed…so mass production for the win?
And What About P'Zones?
Everyone’s getting back to basics. McDonald’s has expunged McFalafel from its Israel locations and Olive Garden is shying away from “culinary forward” dishes like pear and Gorgonzola salads and concoctions like the made-up-sounding pastachetti that was giving me pause earlier this year. There is no such Italian thing. Same goes for soffatellli.
I assumed rollatini and rollata were also Olive Garden inventions, but it turns out there’s nothing non-traditional…about the words, at least. Lasagna Rollata al Forno is purely R&D-derived.
I’m only surprised that chains don’t invent authentic-seeming-to-English-speakers dishes more often. The only other example I can think of off-hand is Taco Bell’s enchirito. There must be more. Anyone?
Items like chimichangas that have been widely adopted as real don't count.
When Pinot Grigio Won't Cut It
What I’ve passively discovered about the state of alcoholic beverages geared towards women while skimming my rss feeds in the hour and 40 minutes that I have been awake this morning .
In Britain, only 17% of beer consumption is attributed to ladies compared to one-quarter in the US. To rectify this, Molson Coors is introducing a less gassy beer called Animee that will come in citrus and rose flavors.
Qream, a low-lactose liqueur created by Pharrell, won’t make you fat--just royal and creamy, I guess?
Cupcake-flavored vodka, not only exists, it has won awards.
Morton's is promoting low-calorie Spa-Tinis with names like Skynny Blood Orange Cosmo, Skinny Rita, Lean and Green, Antioxidant Me and Red Velvet.
You Got Your Chocolate In My Peanut Butter
I don't actually eat a lot of junk food (no, that's not quite as egregious as saying you don't own a television) even though I'm a chain food freak. But I love the idea of snack food mash-ups. Humans are combining Cool Ranch Doritos with Table Talk pineapple pies on their own while brands like Planters are inventing Crème Brûlée Almonds.
Meanwhile, General Mills is stuffing food into other food turducken-style. Betty Crocker's FUN da-Middles, which allow home bakers to put the frosting inside cupcacakes, is but one example.
The only junk food pairing I can recall ever engaging in was a near-daily snack of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Cherry Coke during second period study hall my freshman year. The combo tasted like eggnog, at least to my 14-year-old palate. I should give it another go. And yeah, I did put on weight that year. Thankfully, this was pre-obesity epidemic so no one gave a shit or tried removing me from my home.
Photo of Potato Plantain Torta ingredients from Junk Foodie
A Fish Story
Even though popular cuisines like Italian, Mexican and Chinese include plenty of fish, you don’t see much of a fish presence on American menus. If we’re going to eat seafood at all, it’s fried and shrimp always trumps fish.
I know that I didn’t eat any seafood beyond Gorton’s frozen, breaded filets growing up and I definitely never ordered fish in a restaurant unless it was at Skipper’s, a long-gone chain similar to Long John Silver’s. I was sort of surprised, though I shouldn’t have been, when on my last visit to the Oregon Coast my mom didn’t want anything to do with the fresh Dungeness crab and giant oysters steamed on the spot. Don’t even think about ceviche. (Then again, on my mom's last visit we ate at so-so neighborhood Ameri-Mex mini-chain Mezcal's, and she was disappointed that there was no seafood burrito like you can find in Portland, so maybe I had her fish-eating habits all wrong.)
- A look at Olive Garden shows that there are a shitload of shellfish-laced pastas, but only two pure fish dishes: herb-grilled salmon and parmesan crusted tilapia. Salmon and tilapia are definitely favored fish. One’s meaty, the other’s cheap.
- Panda Express serves no fish, just fried shrimp while more upscale P.F. Chang’s does fairly well with five of their 13 seafood choices being fish (salmon, mahi mahi and Chilean sea bass, which I thought we weren’t supposed to be eating). The remaining eight feature shrimp.
- Taco bell premiered shrimp burritos and tacos this year, just in time for Lent. Chevy’s has fish tacos that are surprisingly grilled not fried, as tradition dictates. Shrimp also appears on fajitas and in an enchilada along with crab. I always order the seafood enchilada at Chevy’s, which makes it sound like I eat there all the time even though I don’t.
Yet a recent NPD survey shows a different story: grilled, baked, broiled and raw fish makes up 23% of seafood orders, slightly ahead of non-fried shrimp (21%), fried fish (14%) and fried shrimp (13%). Bizarrely, all other seafood—calamari? crab? scallops?—is the largest chunk of all at over one quarter.
Seafood only makes up 6% of all restaurant orders, though. And all those non-fried fish eaters are old and rich. Salmon is what happens when you’re an empty-nester watching your cholesterol.
Not Quite a Three Martini Lunch
Also, I accidentally discovered a way to get drunk while sitting at my desk in the office drinking no alcohol.
I knew it was only a matter of time before my favorite all-purpose grocery store, Western Beef, started carrying Greek yogurt. Their slogan “We Know the Neighborhood” has meant that their flagship on the Brooklyn-Queens border sells a variety of Central American cheeses and crema, Serbian seasoning packets, Polish seltzer and (look, no serial comma—ok, I’m the only person alive who never used them in the first place and I’m feeling insecure about it) and has an entire wall devoted to Malta, the devil’s beverage, which is essentially non-fermented beer that’s drunk like a soda pop (pronounce that like sody pop).
Now, knowing nearby neighborhood, Bushwick, apparently means that in addition to Chobani and Oikos appearing out of nowhere, there is an entire new section by the fish counter devoted to organic goods. The yogurt I had expected, but never the full jump to Annie’s and Amy’s.
I have mixed feelings. It didn’t occur to me how wrong this new mainstream love of fancy yogurt could go. Rossman Farms, the cheap produce store under the BQE, a.k.a. porn alley, has sold Fage for some time despite being a bare bones vendor. No longer. Last week my thick yogurt of choice had been replaced by Chobani. In this cramped city, stores with a dearth of shelf and fridge space really only have room for one brand of each item. And it seems that Chobani has become the leader. This monopoly is bothersome.
I’m not even passionate about yogurt. It’s just something non-offensive and filling that I can eat between the time when my lunch wears off and I go to the gym straight from work. And I like being able control the amount of sweetness and what toppings I choose to use. I don’t need all those flavors and I don’t want 0% fat. Rossman Farms was not selling plain, only the fruit on the bottom fat-free varieties. What’s wrong with 2% fat? The real treat was that mysterious 5% Fage used to (still does?) make that had fewer calories than the 2%, a trick achieved by shaving 50 grams from the serving size.
But I bought Chobani at both Western Beef and Rossman Farms because it’s better than the cheaper, watery fructose crap that poses as yogurt. Despite loving all the off brands at WB, I just can’t deal with Tropical yogurt (though I’ll eat their cheddar).
The thing is, Chobani has caused me grief in the past beyond the already present fruit and lack of fat. When I bought a case at Costco (BJ’s sells Fage, but with honey only) as a test, two containers turned out to be moldy. And there’s that little fermentation problem. Once, I encountered a fizzy specimen. It didn’t smell rotten, but clearly something wasn’t right about the bubbly, carbonated texture. I took a bite—no, not moldy, just effervescent—but I still tossed it out.
This week, I heard a pop in my lunch bag and figured it was the pineapple somehow escaping the plastic container I had put the slices in. When I took a peek later, I realized the foil top on the yogurt had burst and I had another fermented cup on my hands. What the hell? This time, though, I ate it because I had nothing else to eat and I hate wasting food. And while the sensation in my mouth was weird, the raspberry flavor hadn’t been tainted.
The curious thing was that about one-third of the way through, I started feeling unusually relaxed, my arms and legs un-tensed and I stopped paying attention to what I was working on (ok, I’m never able to pay much attention). My mood perked up. Hey, I was tipsy. My yogurt had somehow fermented into an alcoholic sludge. Is this even possible?
I guess Chobani is good for something, after all.
The Incredible Edible $95 Fruit Basket
Edible Arrangements, one of the more confounding mail order gifts since Pajamagrams, has been stealthily opening Edible To Go shops, which sell chocolate-dipped fruit and (presumably) melon-heavy salads on the spot because (presumably again) there is demand for such a thing.
But now the company plans to open 150 of these fast food joints in 2011. And lest you believe this is a middle-American phenomena, one already exists in midtown, a mere two blocks from the recently shuttered Jekyll & Hyde, and is Kosher certified.
Mrs. Garrett photo from X-Entertainment
Denny's: Crimes Against Nature
Denny’s—where I spent many a high school evening drinking coffee, eating Super Birds and smoking in the back room because there was nothing better to do at night—are scarce around NYC. The nearest location, 20 miles away, just happens to be in my favorite part of New Jersey; the region that’s also home to Bud’s Hut and the Linfield Inn. I took this as a sign.
But before heading out to Avenel to finally experience Baconalia (I don’t only wait for hotspots to have a month-long cool-down period) I was warned about restaurants defaulting to imitation bacon. No way, not at Denny’s.
The Maple Bacon Sundae was not a purist affair, however. The bacon crumbles, more fatty than crisp, as I like them, were real all right, but the scourge of diners everywhere: maple-flavored syrup, a.k.a. corn syrup followed by high fructose corn syrup on the ingredient list, was the amber imposter drizzled atop and pooled at the base of the vanilla ice cream tower.
Despite the unnatural sweetener, this was not a bad sundae. The spoonfuls of melting ice cream striped with syrup and smoky nubs of pork were welcome sweet-salty blasts; the only thing that could’ve upped the ante would have been a sprinkling of chopped hickory-smoked almonds.
I still had to admire Denny’s moxie. Sure, bacon desserts are old hat to food trend followers (though it’s a faster trickle-down than craft beers now appearing at T.G.I. Friday’s) but that doesn’t mean the average customer is necessarily ready for the meeting of sweet and salty in soda fountain classics.
The disgust and outrage overheard at a nearby table might’ve been initially mistaken for the matrimonial union between two men.
30-something dad: “I love bacon…but on a sundae? This has got to be a joke, right?!”
Son: “Gross!”
After grandma hobbled back to the table, dad proceeded to fill her in on the maple-bacon atrocity. “Can you believe it?”
I did not hear her response. Perhaps, she’ll now finally be able to say that she’s seen it all. I hope she's already watched Nannerpuss.
So Cultured
For the past few years, I’ve checked the dairy case at Western Beef on every shopping visit waiting for the miraculous day when Greek yogurt appears next to the Yoplait and Tropical (because I'm rich, you know). Even Costco and BJ’s sell it at this point. Only the old-school New Yorky cheddar, mozzarella and pepper jack for cheese selection stores are still holding-out.
My day may be coming soon, though. The harbinger was seeing my first TV commercial for Greek yogurt, Dannon’s entry, the other night. Mainstreaming. According to a recent Ad Age article citing Mintel and SymphonyIRI data, Green yogurt is one of the fastest-growing grocery categories and this style makes up 12% of the total yogurt market.
Then again, Western Beef’s slogan is “We Know the Neighborhood” and I don’t know that the residents of the semi-industrial Ridgewood-Maspeth border are clamoring for thick, unsweetened dairy products…yet. Maybe once the ladies get a load of these ads.
In non-yogurt-related Greek miscellanea, I finally watched Dogtooth last night. Wow, kind of a more incesty, un-Shyamalan-fied The Village.
Foie Gras, Salt Shakers & Silverware
Emirates has been voted the airline with the best meals, according to a survey by Skyscanner. And indeed the comments on AirlineMeals.net are overwhelmingly positive. That's clearly not an economy example above, and it's just one of many courses.
Hopefully, tenth place Air France, will change minds now that Joel Roubuchon is involved with the menu. I actively avoid most food trucks unless they’re serving something unique that can’t be found at a proper restaurant (I hate standing around outside eating) but this falls into the I’m-just-curious-enough camp. I’ll see what’s up when the roving Air France vehicle hits my work neighborhood on Monday.
1. Emirates
2. Lufthansa
3. Singapore Airlines
4. Aeroflot
5. Qatar
6. Malaysia Airlines
7. Thai Airways
8. Etihad
9. KLM
10. Air France
Singapore Airlines is the only one of the top ten that I’ve experienced first-hand, and yes, they’re fairly ritzy even though the only thing I can specifically recall eating was a decent curry on the way to Bangkok the time I lucked out on a massively discounted SARS-related deal.
Foreign airlines can be fun, top ten cuisine or not. Aeromexico only had beer and tequila—poured from full-sized glass bottles—to accompany their enchiladas (yes, I asked for wine). I wonder if I will be getting rioja and paella on Iberia when I fly next month?
Photo of Emriates Airbus A380 meal from Chow Times
Steak Diane On the Go
Tesco Real Food has found that French is the fastest-growing cuisine in England (at least among prepared grocery store meals). Sales increased 16% last year, followed by Chinese (15%), British (6.7%), Italian (6.6%) and Tex-Mex (3.2%). What? No American? Well, the Tesco Tex Mex Multipack Dips do contain "an American style mayonnaise and soured cream nacho cheese dip."
Apparently, Tesco sells a whole line of French Classics, putting our frozen T.G.I. Friday’s Frozen Loaded Cheddar & Bacon Skins to shame. Chicken Chasseur, the star of this store brand’s line, increased sales 226% over last year. I don’t even know what Chicken Chasseur is exactly other that it involves mushrooms; I’d like to imagine it’s a little like this.
Brits may like to pretend they’re refined with their Gallic groceries, but it seems that 14% of them have dined and dashed. Thirty-nine percent, the largest group, have left a restaurant without paying because no one ever brought them the check. I’ll admit that I was tempted to run out on the bill for this very reason at a Mexican restaurant in Vegas.
But flirting for discounts isn't a crime, right? Exalted research firm, Promocodes.co.uk, surveyed 3,000 Brits and it turns out that ladies save nearly 150 pounds ($241) per year “hair tossing, maintaining eye contact, giggling and being overly friendly” to get discounts. More than 56% didn’t have to pay a cent due to their feminine whiles.
And I thought British women were all ugly?
Making Faces
"who makes chart to show how to make garnimals at cheeseburger in paradise"
That’s a good question! I’d never even considered that such a chart existed, let alone that a human would be responsible for its creation. I’m not saying I have any answers…
This person made flashcards describing what each Garnimal consists of. Bungalow Bob? Who knew they had names?
On a Jimmy Buffet forum, a CIP staffer (at least in 2006) and Parrothead divulges that he can’t share how to make garnimals because he signed a confidentiality agreement. Damn!
I’ve never seen a Cheeseburger in Paradise commercial. Now I know what garnimals sound like when appearing on the water pitcher during a continuing education lecture.
People misspell Garanimals quite frequently. Whether you type garanimal or garnimal, 98% of the content is about those matching clothes for children that I had no idea still existed and possibly only do at Walmart.
Did I ever tell you about the time I got an email merely asking “Can you help me locate a place to purchase the sunglasses that is on the piece of fruit in the drink picture on your website?” (Ok, I did) A weaker person would delete the shit out of that (I get orders for shovels now and again and those go straight to the trash) but I knew exactly what the online stranger was talking about and my strong sense of duty (and library background) compelled me to find those tiny plastic shades.
The best part was the follow-up (for real--I saved the email): “I don’t get that kind of response from people who are friends. Again, thanks for your kindness.”
So there. That was my good deed for 2009. Last year I came up empty and so far in 2011, my do-gooding has been lacking. I want to be the Michael Landon character in Highway to Heaven of chain restaurant needs.
What can I (barely) help you with? Sorry, I still don’t know who makes chart to show how to make garnimals at cheeseburger in paradise.
Now You're Cooking With Creme
Ok, now they’ve gone too far. I’ve marveled more than few times over Kraft’s aggressively marketed Philadelphia Cream Cheese. All sorts of recipes have been developed to put cream cheese in places where it has no business being. And I like cream cheese--there's a mostly eaten block of Philly in the fridge as I type.
Food companies creating uses for their products is hardly a new concept. Just a casual skim through my random collection of cooking pamphlets, brought numerous examples from the past.
A 15-page 1963 7-Up missive contains a recipe for Tuna Chow Mein, which in addition to canned tuna, mushrooms, water chestnuts and beansprouts, includes soy sauce and two bottles (7 ounces each) of everyone’s favorite uncola.
I’m not familiar with Martha Meade nor Sperry Flour, which seems to be a General Mills brand per this flimsy booklet from 1940. She certainly does come up with many creative uses for the starch, though. Mexican Pancakes (from a 1939 edition), for one, made Mexican from Sperry Yellow Corn Meal, I would suppose, not the bacon or “snappy cheese sauce” made from the company’s Drifted Snow “Home-Perfected” Flour. Upside-Down Dinner is a savory take on an upside-down cake that uses both flours above plus ham, tomatoes and green peppers and a ketchup-bouillon sauce.
Carnation’s Easy-Does-It Cookbook, a 176-page paperback from 1958 contains a recipe for “Aloha” Pick Ups in the chafing dish section. Just as interesting as creating a sauce from Carnation sour cream, corn starch, pineapple syrup, brown sugar and vinegar, is their suggestion that Carnation sour cream be used to season just about anything from fruit toppings to your favorite snacks.
What they didn’t do—and what Kraft has essentially gone and done—is to create a seasoned sour cream and sell it specifically as a dish-enhancer. Kraft has a new product, Philadelphia Cooking Creme, available in four flavors. Yes, seasoned cream cheese, for cooking.
Use a tub of Santa Fe Blend in the Tex-Mex Beef & Rice Casserole or 10 ounces of Original (not sure how that’s different from soft cream cheese) with Ritz crackers and Kraft grated parmesan to make Coquilles St. Jacques.
The only similar example I can think of offhand is Campbell’s Cream of Chicken soup being commonly used as a sauce component rather than eaten straight from a bowl (though it was one of my favorite canned soups as a child, probably because it’s fatty and salty). But it’s still called a soup, not a sauce enhancer.
Jif, for one, could add ginger and soy sauce and make Chinese peanut sauce, chile and lime could be Thai peanut sauce, cumin and cayenne could Latin-up a blend. All would fit into savory recipes they’ve already published. Parkay and Yoplait could also get on board--the possibilities are practically limitless.
Carnation and 7-Up covers from Old Cookbooks.com
I'm So Hungry!
I’ve been aware of the existence of Lisa Lillien, a.k.a. Hungry Girl, for some time, only in that I know there is a wildly popular person who makes low-calorie versions of Americans’ favorite foods using dubious substitutions. Now that I have been DVRing her show on Cooking Channel (which I thought was supposed to be a younger, hipper, cooking-focused Food Network but clearly not) I have learned so much more. I’ve only watched three episodes, but this is what I know:
Despite her diminutive stature, Hungry Girl is a grown woman somewhere in her forties, not a girl.
No matter what she says, using lettuce leaves for buns and soy patties instead of beef do not taste like a real hamburger.
Bringing your own bottle of one-calorie-per-spray Wish-Bone Salad Spritzers to a restaurant is very dedicated (almost as much as that woman on MTV's True Life who toted around a bottle of ranch in her purse).
The defeated tone of voice during the show’s animated intro when the cartoon Hungry Girl chomps a bite out of a plate and mournfully chirps, “I’m so hungry!” goes straight into my cerebral cortex and slowly oozes down my spinal column, confusing my entire body on how it should react to such a statement. I can only shudder (and then I rock myself to sleep while eating an entire chocolate-swirl cheesecake made from chalk and mud).
A fan of Laughing Cow cheese since I was a child (they used to come in tiny cubes and it was a rare treat I’d only get at the “gourmet” store on yearly trips to Cannon Beach) it pains me to see the wedges mixed with fat-free sour cream to make girlfredo, yes, a mock alfredo sauce.
Also, fat-free cream cheese, sour cream, mayonnaise, cheese and any other product that naturally contains fat, tastes like soft nothing. Munching on moistened dirt would be more satisfying.
Creating a brand called Hungry Girl instead of Skinny Girl or Skinny Bitch is very smart. Calorie-counting women are hungry and they wish they could eat more. Acknowledging this is down-to-earth and conspiratorial not asperational and abrasive. Despite her misguided recipes (though as I skim through them they start seeming saner and saner) Lisa Lillien seems like a nice person.
So yes, her emphasis on quantity—pointing out the enormity of allowed servings is requisite for nearly every recipe--over quality makes sense for the audience; lifelong dieters who are burnt-out on self-denial. But wouldn’t you rather eat a small portion of really good onion rings than a “ginormous plateful” of onions coated in Egg Beaters (what is egg substitute, anyway?) and crushed Fiber One cereal?
Hungry Girl is married to the producer of iCarly, the Nickelodeon tween show that popularized spaghetti tacos.
Dan Schneider, “the Aaron Sorkin of tween sitcoms” is obese. I doubt his weight defines him the way that Hungry Girl’s does, but it must create an unusual dynamic in the household. Does he also eat pieces of chicken breast coated in egg substitute, wheat flour and sugar-free pancake syrup and pretend that it’s Chinese take-out? Do you think that Hungry Girl wanted to swap her trademark Tofu Shirtaki Noodles for the pasta and use cabbage leaves instead of corn shells for the spaghetti tacos?
Oh, I got the answer (it helps to actually read to the end of a two-plus-page article).
“Mr. Schneider, the writer, said he plans to have the iCarly cast to his house to make a batch in the next few months, so that he can tape it and post it on his YouTube account. He’s only had a low-calorie/low-fat version prepared by his wife, Lisa Lillien, whose Hungry Girl franchise appeals to weight-conscious snack-food lovers. ‘I’ve never tasted the real, real version.’”
By the way, Hungry Girl keeps the taco shells in her version. The ground-beef-style soy crumbles? I hadn’t seen that coming at all.
The Great Pyramid
Everyone’s obese and we need to eat less or we will all die. I didn’t actually scrutinize the new USDA dietary guidelines, but I’m pretty sure that’s the gist. Also, did you know that in China they have a food pagoda instead of a pyramid?
As the American public ignores the recommendations as they do every five years, the PR-savvy see this as the perfect opportunity to tout brands and organizations that fit into this new rubric--no matter how tenuous the connection.
Here is a random sampling of who’s promoting themselves as USDA dietary guideline-friendly since the news was announced Monday:
The Peanut Institute: "A healthy eating pattern ... emphasizes nutrient-dense foods - vegetables, fruits, whole grains, fat-free or low-fat milk products, seafood, lean meats and poultry, eggs, beans and peas, and nuts and seeds."
The United States Potato Board: "Get more potassium in your diet. Food sources of potassium include potatoes, cantaloupe, bananas, beans and yogurt."
Slade Gorton & Co.: "The new federal guidelines will increase demand for seafood as the report points out in no uncertain terms the nutritional and health benefits of consuming more fish as part of a regular diet."
National Dairy Council: "Overall, the new Guidelines emphasizes a total diet approach, urging Americans to reduce calories and watch portion sizes; make more nutrient-rich choices, such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains and low-fat or fat-free milk and milk products; and move more."
ConAgra Foods: "We consider our broad portfolio of health and wellness brands, such as Healthy Choice, Hunt’s® and Orville Redenbacher’s® SmartPop! ®, to be a competitive advantage for ConAgra Foods and will continue focusing on delivering the great-tasting, nutritious foods consumers want."
Cargill: "Helping customers leverage regulatory requirements and shifting consumer preferences, Cargill has introduced a range of ingredients to help reduce calories, saturated fat and sodium." These include: Truvia™, CitriTex® GSG 71, SaltWise®, Premier™ potassium chloride and Premier™ light salt, Alberger®, Clear Valley® omega-3 oil and Clear Valley™ omega-3 shortening, Honeysuckle White®, CoroWise™, Oliggo-Fiber®, Barliv™, ActiStar®, GrainWise®, WheatSelect® , MaizeWise®, Sterling Silver®, Sunny Fresh®
Soyfoods Association of North America: "The recommendations include increasing the intake of soy products and fortified soy beverages. Vegetarian and vegan meal patterns, that include soyfoods, also make their Dietary Guidelines debut as adaptations to the USDA Food Patterns."
The Quaker Oats Company: "The Dietary Guidelines state, 'consume at least half of all grains as whole grains.'"
Welch's: "Americans are in luck thanks to Welch's 100% Grape Juice, which is made with over 20 Concord grapes per 4-ounce glass and provides one serving (or 1/2 cup) of fruit and beneficial nutrients, helping consumers to meet daily fruit recommendations and nutrition goals while also meeting their desires for delicious taste and refreshment."
The National Pork Board: "Pork, in particular, is a lean, low-calorie, nutrient-rich protein which can help with weight control. In fact, recent studies show eating lean meats such as pork can lead to weight loss by reducing hunger sensations, helping people feel full and preserving lean muscle mass."
National Fisheries Institute: "The Dietary Guidelines specifically clear up persistent consumer confusion by saying pregnant and breastfeeding women should eat at least 8 and up to 12 ounces (two to three servings) of seafood each week to boost babies' brain and eye development."
National Cattlemen’s Beef Association: "The good news is the nutrient-rich beef already enjoyed by more than 95 percent of Americans will help them meet these new Guidelines. A 3 oz serving of lean beef provides 10 nutrients your body needs such as protein, iron, zinc and B-vitamins for an average of 154 calories."
Boar's Head: "At Boar's Head, we recognize the important role sodium plays in one's diet and we support the USDA's recommendation for reduced sodium intake...That's why we offer an extensive portfolio of great tasting lower sodium deli meats and cheeses."
Campbell Soup Company: "Studies show drinking V8® 100% vegetable juice may be a simple way for people to increase their vegetable intake and may help them manage their weight -- two areas of concern outlined in the newly released 2010 U.S. Dietary Guidelines for Americans."
General Mills: "2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans Recommends Increasing Daily Vegetable Intake; Green Giant Is a Good Pick Offering Variety and Convenience"
Weight Watchers International, Inc.: "In line with the philosophy that drove the new Dietary Guidelines, Weight Watchers developed its new PointsPlus program with the newest nutrition science in mind, including and consistent with the science supporting the new Dietary Guidelines for Americans."
Redneck food pyramid apron from LA Imprints
Caribbean Tater Tots, Kiosks Are Sizzling & Sexting Servers
When companies started using automated press button 1, press button 2 phone systems (was that 15 years ago? Twenty? The present becomes the past so quickly that one day I’ll just be 75 and think that Starbucks’ Trenta is still newish. At least I don’t put two spaces after periods even though that's how I learned to type) I was happy to bypass conversation with annoying humans.
Now, eliminating personal interactions could change the way we eat. Well, if you’re influenced by packaged goods companies and like third-tier chains, that is.
I would love to test out Kraft’s “Meal Planning Solution” kiosk. The machine, which is meant to increase the average shopper’s ten-recipe meal repertoire, will be placed in grocery stores and will offer personalized recipes—incorporating Kraft products, of course—using face recognition technology. I don’t know how it could possibly peg me as anything other than a mom since marketers assume all females 25-45 have children in the home. I can live with that miscategorization, but I’m having a hard time understanding how their Tater-Topped Casserole (which calls for “frozen bite-size seasoned potato nuggets.” Kraft really needs to acquire their own tot brand) exists as the featured recipe in their Caribbean section. Also, their “tropical feasts” all seem to be casseroles blanketed with baked cheese.
Sizzler has been experimenting with ordering kiosks to speed up service and increase check size. So far, in the California test locations, it has been working. And don’t think that ordering Malibu Chicken by touchscreen is just for young, white-collar kids. Michael Branigan, VP of marketing at Sizzler, told Nation’s Restaurant News, “Though it might seem as if 18-to-24-year-old urban professionals would be the greatest users of the kiosks, it really is a broad spectrum of people coming in and using them.”
I figured mobile technology would kill the kiosk and TextMyFood is going the cell phone route. The service, which allows diners to boss around restaurant staff via SMS, is being tested at Charlies Kitchen in Cambridge, Massachusetts. The idea, once again, is to speed up ordering and get people to spend more money. In practice, it is turning into low-risk method for proposing foursomes to servers like Joshua DeCosta who was the recipient of 'Two of us need something and three of us need your number.” Pls bring Jager asap.
Photo: Intel
Inexcusably Unpalatable
Even though I don’t know many who are as crazed about Asian food and chain restaurants as I am. And despite my traveling 70 miles to Cherry Hill, NJ to make a frakking video (which I just deleted from YouTube, so don’t even bother) about Pei Wei for their Blog Asia contest, I didn’t genuinely think I would make it to the final five (oh my, another BSG reference). Perkiness and enthusiasm will always triumph and I have neither.
I so wanted 2011 to be about understanding rather than judging. For a while I’ve been pondering what makes a person American-Idol-contestant confident in their average abilities? Were they loved too much as a baby? Was the part of their hypothalamus that regulates self-awareness damaged? Maybe they're just really positive and try hard. There's something to be said for that. I'm also grappling with stereotypes/archetypes, some represented by these contest finalists. It’s too easy to make fun of stay-at-home mommies, do-gooder Christians, tiny Asian girls who eat like pigs, mavericks and Yelpers, so I won’t.
But I am still going to have to put Pei Wei and their parent company P.F. Chang’s on my shit list. It's not that I have a problem with crimes against Chinese food. In fact, I openly embrace them—crab rangoon, sweet and sour pork, even egg foo young—I will eat you all.
But crimes against the English language?! No, never. I cannot patronize a company that lets contest-winners use the phrase, “sophisticated foodie palette.” Fuck understanding; 2011 is going to have to be about tough love. From now on I will be on palette patrol (what that entails, I'm not sure yet). If you’ve made it to adulthood without mastering middle-school grammar, then someone needs to help you. Ignorance is not bliss for the public subjected to palate abuse.
This is a palate. Technically, it’s the roof of your mouth not your tongue, but we associate the word with taste. Someone with a discriminating one would hopefully know how to spell it.
This is a palette. It can mean a few things, but commonly designates a wooden board where an artist places and mixes paint. It can also be used to describe a range of colors--or even flavors. A chef may employ a palette of spices but you’ll taste them with your so-called palate.
This is a pallet and has little reason to show up in anything written about food unless you’re talking about Sysco or Costco.
I don’t mind running the risk of becoming a crotchety fuddy-duddy clinging to outmoded concepts (such as eighth-grade reading levels) like an old-guard food writer who won't leave Manhattan (or one of those Twitter scolds). You can keep your copious exclamation points, yummies, to die fors, nom noms, melts in your mouths and best-I’ve-ever-eaten hyperbole, but you must get your homophones in check. It’s no longer optional. And when $10,000 and a trip to Asia are at stake--or should I say steak--it’s no longer harmless.
Photos from bohone and Getty Images
Chinese Burgers For the Masses
I was a little surprised when Xi’an Famous Foods made the reverse migration from Flushing to Manhattan’s Chinatown around this same time last year. Maybe that’s the natural progression after appearing on No Reservations and Bizarre Foods.
Now, according to The Wall Street Journal, the father and son team behind the popular Northern Chinese food shop are setting up a 5,000-square-foot “commissary” in East Williamsburg and have visions of franchising the business, branding harder and creating a line of frozen food. Very chain-like, indeed.
Fittingly, P.F. Chang’s is already on the bringing-it-to-masses beat. CEO and president Rick Federico has sampled Xi’an’s cumin lamb and stewed pork burgers and is “thinking about how we might apply a sandwich into our business." The closest thing the Chinese chain has so far is (no, not a banh mi) a Sichuan Chicken Flatbread containing the most American of ingredients: melted cheese.
I’m anxious to see how P.F. Chang’s might interpret the cuisine—but they had better hurry or Xi’an will make it to the suburbs first.
KFC China's Spanish burger ad from Ads of China
What You'll Be Eating in 2011
It’s easy to make fun of corporate food pronouncements and trends. 64% of Americans eat a gingerbread man’s head first, fried vegetables and hummus will be hot for 2011, local everything and ethnic-inspired breakfasts...or will it be food trucks and celebrity farmers?
But I have to admit that McCormick’s annual Flavor Forecast always manages to come up with unusual combinations and suggested recipes far more sophisticated than I would expect from the popular spice brand. (Frankly, I’m a La Flor girl because they’re local, always the cheapest and use glass bottles, but they only appear to have two recipes on their entire site: sweet and spicy cilantro chicken/pollo agridulce con cilantro and pork chops in wine sauc, missing the very important E.)
Caramelized honey and adzuki beans? Green peppercorn and goat’s milk? Perhaps I have been reading too much Taste of Home, sheltered in my New York-centric bubble. I thought Americans didn’t cook anymore. Now I’m faced with McCormick recipes for
Salmon and Scallop Ceviche with Herbes de Provence Popcorn and
Peri-Peri Fennel Bloody Mary with Vodka-Infused Tomatoes? I had no idea.
Le Footlong
The $5 Footlong has become synonymous with Subway in the US despite that dreary, minor-key jingle. But the sandwich chain has a presence in 92 countries, most using the metric system and not using dollars.
In Quebec, they just size the sub literally, calling it 12 pouces (inches). They also make a catchier song—you won’t be able to watch this video without getting “douze pouces” stuck in your craw.
The one universal truth I discovered in Canada was sidewalk chicken bones. I used to think that carelessly discarded poultry parts were a Brooklyn scourge, but I’ve since wised up.
Chain Links: Knoflookmaynaise & Bar Harbor
Nearly 700 Red Lobsters will be remodeled to look like Bar Harbor, Maine by 2014. If you’ve never been to Bar Harbor, Maine, this is what it looks like (sort of--Bar Harbor is 97% white). You can search for the nearest Bar Harborized location to you. Bridgeport, CT is as close as it gets here. Brooklyn's waiting. [press release]
“Gaucho will be launching an Amsterdam-inspired contemporary steakhouse in the UK” is an attention-grabbing caption. So, a Dutch interpretation of an Argentine steakhouse brought to England. The menu looks fairly sane, though you’re not likely to find Grote Gamba’s Met Knoflookmaynaise in Buenos Aires. I think that’s just their way of saying prawns with aioli. [Big Hospitality]
Disneyworld’s Pollo Campero just opened and the official Disney Parks Food Writer has the scoop. For no discernable reason, they also sell vegan cupcakes from BabyCakes NYC. [Disney Parks Blog]
Miami-based Pollo Tropical, which might seem like an international chain, is expanding north and south into Latin America and Canada. Apparently, Canadians are the leading foreign visitors to Miami. Perhaps they are bringing back a taste for yellow rice and yuca. I will not be satisfied until they're eating poutine in the Florida Keys. [NRN]
Talking Turkey: Google vs Bing
Despite 44% of home cooks not cooking a Thanksgiving meal from scratch, Thanksgiving is still the most popular time of year for recipe searches, according to Google. Then again, during the holidays searches for “easy recipes” triple with pie being the top requested item. I won’t scoff; pies are definitely more time consuming than a standard weeknight recipe. I really don’t like making crust (and have given up on forming empanadas without frozen shells).
Everyone loves pie. Not surprisingly, pumpkin tops the list of Bing’s most searched pie recipes, followed by pecan, apple, chocolate and importantly, pie crust. Oddly, the top cookie recipe searched for is rice krispie. I’m not even convinced that’s a cookie, let alone a holiday cookie. Well, that was before I saw Kellogg’s Great Plains Tipi Treats and Turkey Tracks.
Even odder, Google has fondue lurking their top baking searches. I don’t associate things melted in pots with baking. Cookies, of course, are number one. I wonder if rice krispie treats also fall under this category since they’re not baked either. Maybe I’m just being too literal about what baking means these days.
Great Plains Tipi Treats photo from Kellogg's
Meat, Spice, Fire
Maybe I’m just unhappy because according to additional Lawry's findings, I’m a spicy food-lover, a so-called “Self-Assured Adventurer,” when the happiest cohort, “Joyous Joiners,” prefers tart flavors.
I love it when companies get all targeted with their food marketing. Lawry's has two special sections on their site: Food For the Soul and Cocina Latina. Steak with chimichurri sauce (if there's any population that grills more than the US, it's Argentines) doesn't sound half bad, though I don' t know that I'd describe it as having "Latin flare."
Also, Fisher wants you to take a quiz to see what kind of nut you are. I'm not crazy about being a walnut.
Image from Embroidery by Jean
The Bee's Knees
"Bonefish Grill’s Search for the Best Cocktail Featuring a New Spirit" wasn't really for the public (I did poke my head in) or for the average bartender (I just can't say mixologist). The competition was for liquor brands that had been launched within the past year to come up with a cocktail to be featured on Bonefish's menu.
And that's the twisted thing about my relationship to Bonefish Grill. Highly suburban, the seafood chain (whose nearest location, Secaucus, is eight miles from my apartment—I prefer to drive the 17 miles to Iselin) "invites guests to enjoy a 'big city bar' in their own backyards."
Yet, I live a short subway ride away from Manhattan's cocktail heavy hitters like this year's best cocktail bar in the country, Death & Co., and walking distance to Clover Club (also a nominee). There is no shortage of $12+ beverages using herbs, tinctures and homemade bitters in my environs.
The weekend before last, I took advantage of my free Bang Bang Shrimp birthday gift card in East Brunswick and was looking forward to some of their oddly priced $6.90 cocktails. I wouldn't necessarily call a list of martinis, all but one of the 12 sweet and/or fruity, "big city," though. Second-tier city?
I do see what they're going for. My Bee's Knees Martini was flavored with honey and lemon juice and garnished with a basil leaf. They'd only need to lose the martini glass and swap gin for the vodka to get something more appropriately old-timey and historic. But of course, fedoras, moustaches and suspenders aren't exactly de rigueur in Witchita or Boise (at least I hope not). Bonefish states that they are "blending our country's rich cocktail history with inventive, modern twists." They know their audience.
Square One Botanical Spirit, a vodka made from organic American rye and infused with "pear, rose, chamomile, lemon verbena, lavender, rosemary, coriander and citrus peel," won their sponsored contest. The winning cocktail, however, wasn't announced. I'd love to know what it is and I'd order one even though it will likely be sweet and fruity.
Smooth Operators
“The fruit combinations in McDonald's latest smoothies, for instance, reflect taste preferences in minority communities.”
As long as they don’t mean strawberry-banana, the foulest ‘80s yogurt flavor combo ever, I’m ok with this.
Update: Oh hell, I was just kidding, but yes, strawberry-banana is, indeed, one of the new smoothie flavors. Would this be the handiwork of blacks, Asians or Latinos?
Using Your Noodle
Three is a trend, and it looks like carbs are coming back in a big way. (I’m much preferring the proliferation of country western bars: Branded Saloon, Viva El Toro and Lady Jay’s.) By the end of July, Manhattan will be home to three pasta bar chains: homegrown Hello Pasta, German Vapiano and French Nooi. It's a Small World of noodles. Is there really such a pent up demand for pasta lunches?
Then again, why not pasta? Salad bars are ancient history. I was alive enough in the '80s to have witnessed the mania first hand. And when my middle school got a baked potato bar? I knew I'd arrived when all the sour cream, grated cheese and imitation bacon bits you could cram onto one spud was deemed a healthy lunch.
Made in China
Meanwhile, in China they’re adding donkey hide glue to almonds on purpose.
A Senior Moment
This is the headline: Kraft Gets Grandma to Upload Her Videos
This is the hook: "Kraft is breaking down the conventional wisdom about demographics and user-generated video. In a successful promotion for Philadelphia Cream Cheese, the company succeeded in getting over 5,000 women mostly age 35 and older to upload videos of themselves preparing their favorite recipes."
Grandma, here, almost soiled her adult diaper--and is having an uncontrollable urge to put cream cheese in her Thai curry. Where would she have gotten such a notion?
Image from DesignerOnline.
Start Spreading the News
One of my only concerns with Taste of Home, my latest subscription, is their rampant abuse of cream cheese. Philadelphia cream cheese is the anti-raw milk Époisses. I happen to like both, but please don't make me puree the soft white block into a pesto. Thanks.
The Poor Man's Macaroni Grill Chianti
Little did I know that Macaroni Grill has had its own house wines—Chardonnay, Chianti and White Zinfandel—since 1988. Maggiano’s Little Italy started their own label, Salute Amico, last month and un-Italian P.F. Chang’s just launched two private-label wines under the name Vineyard 518.
A few days ago this search string landed a poor misguided stranger here: I need names of wines that compare in quality to Macaroni Grill's Chianti but not as expensive. That is awesome and so very specific. I wish I could help but the prices aren’t listed on their online menu so I’m not sure what not as expensive might mean.
Lilliputian Chianti bottle photo from Miniature Cottage.
In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb
I thought I might be the only one who wanted to know more about Israeli-style burgers, i.e. what are they? But no, based on my search logs, strangers are clamoring (ok, in my world five people is considered clamoring) for the scoop. And luckily, someone has since written about it.
Ruvy, a current resident of Israel who used to manage a Burger King in the US, claims that the only difference between Burger King and Burger Ranch is the condiments. Heinz is used by the American chain.
“Heinz catsup is not as sweet as the Israeli catsup sold here; the Heinz mayonnaise has a different flavor from the local brands; and the local mustard is sharper than the mild Heinz mustard used on the hamburgers and double hamburgers at Burger King. The result is that there is a distinctly different flavor of the Burger Ranch hamburgers compared to the analogous Burger King products.”
Meanwhile, old folks in Bay Ridge are upset that Heinz is reducing the salt in their classic ketchup. Says, Joe Oliva: "I'm 80 years old, and I haven't died yet. It's really hard for me to eat without salt. I think it's infringing on our rights!
Israeli Heinz ketchup ad from Coloribus.
Hospitaliano
If I sit on an idea long enough, someone is eventually bound to write about it. That is the dilemma of too many thoughts, too little time. I've come to the stark realization that if I spent even two hours per night in my room with my computer and the door shut instead of sitting on a couch watching TV with my laptop, I'd get a lot more done.
What is more important, after all? Finding out what's happening on Lost, Fringe, Breaking Bad or the new Dr. Who (still not sold on him) or getting to the bottom of what goes on at Olive Garden's culinary institute?
I can now delete Olive Garden cooking school from my to-do Word document. Today, CNN investigates the important story, while a little over a week ago Jaunted was on the same beat. I knew it existed in some form because Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante was just there a few months ago.
Speaking of dubious cooking schools (we were, weren't we?) I have this vague memory, for which I can find no support online, that when Mackenzie Phillips was booted off One Day at a Time and sent to rehab, her character's disappearance was attributed to her going to a doughnut-making school. Am I losing my mind?
Hamburger University photo from McDonald's.It's Always Cheesy in Philadelphia
I always look forward to my copy of Taste of Home. It only comes every other month and brings me a different joy than Saveur, which I intend to read but rarely get through, Bon Appetit and Food & Wine, which are skimmers or Cooking Light, the only magazine I regularly cook from even though it’s the least exciting.
Taste of Home’s foundation is every day meals, nothing wildly exotic or labor intensive with no fear of cans or packages. I could imagine the chicken & vegetable stir-fry or the apricot-glazed pork tenderloin ending up on my table if I were a child today.
I’m only on my second issue, but I’m already seeing themes emerging.
So bad it’s bad: alfredo sauce and cream cheese where they don’t really belong. In fact, there is a full page Philadelphia ad advising readers, “Make your pasta more primo when you stir in ½ cup of Philly.” There is a section on the Kraft Foods site called, "i never thought i could add Philly to.." The lowercase is supposed to make putting cream cheese in Cajun, Thai and Latin dishes to make the spice more palatable, seem innocent? And I just saw a TV ad where Paula Deen is encouraging the abuse of cream cream cheese, too. Actually, it’s a contest—I’m now going to think up the most inappropriate placement of cream cheese in a foodstuff. Caesar salad? Baked beans? Barbecue sauce?
In this issue, the soft cheese is called for in easy enchiladas, meatball sub casserole and pretty stuffed spring peas. Alfredo sauce shows up in a white chili (at least it’s not white from mayonnaise) and a chicken cordon bleu pizza invented by a teenage boy, so you kind of have to give him some props for experimenting in the kitchen.
Some things are put where they don’t belong but are genius. Yep, bacon baklava.
So bad it’s good: peanut butter brownie trifle. This dish is simply mini peanut butter cups and brownies baked with peanut butter chips interspersed with layers of instant vanilla pudding and topped with frozen whipped topping, a.k.a. Cool Whip. Just as I didn’t know that wine coolers were malt liquor, I had no idea Cool Whip wasn’t a dairy product for many years. And I would totally eat a big bowl of this trifle right now and wash it all down with a Blue Hawaiian Bartles & Jaymes.
Indovations...Sinovations
Nestle is merely trying to "Indianise" their products in order to grow the market that currently only makes up 1.5% of their total sales. No details on what this Indianizing will entail. Kulfi Drumsticks (not to be confused with saragawa, colloquially known as drumsticks in India)?
Japanese food companies are also trying to expand beyond their own borders, and they know what sells. One approach is to "capitalize on cute Asian-themed characters like koalas and pandas." Hello Kitty wine?
Sprite is more popular than Coke in China. In fact, it's the number one selling soda in the country, which is why Spritea, Sprite flavored with green tea, is only logical. (In Japan they've already added green tea to Coke and shiso to Pepsi.)
Spritea photo from Hong Kong Express.
Apples to Apples
It wasn’t enough for 7-Eleven to create a magazine just for Latino construction workers, now they’ve got a line of food in the works for 7-Eleven Mexico and a few lucky Hispanic-heavy stores in the US.
“Our objective is to identify flavor profiles that Hispanics are particularly partial to and develop items in that way,” spokeswoman Margaret Chabris told Supermarket News.
Um, so chile and lime?
To me, using apple flavors for soda was a surprising Mexican preference. Sidral Mundet comes in both green and red apple. I see evidence of a green apple Jolly Rancher soda existing here, but is that really mainstream?
Chains of Thailand & Malaysia
Sure, Asia has the chains that have penetrated all corners of the planet: McDonald’s, Starbucks and oddly, Subway, but also regional anomalies yet to grace the states with their presence. A pair of my favorites being The Manhattan Fish Market and Big Apple Coffee & Donuts. This is a near-random, non-exhaustive photo gallery or the franchises I spied during my journeys through the air conditioned malls of Bangkok and Penang.
What’s missing are the slew of sushi, tepanyaki, shabu shabu and noodle chains that had a surprisingly large presence. I am not fanatical about Japanese food in the same way I am about other Asian cuisines, which is the main reason why I’ve never been to Tokyo even though I should know better. I do plan on eventually rectifying this.
By the way, I do not have the know-how to create a proper full page slideshow with nice accompanying text. Sucking my photos from Flickr was the only way I could manage an approximation, but formatting and links captioning the original photos have been lost in this display.
Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer
Coupons Are For Suckers
Chick-fil-A has gotten wise and all 21st century, at least in Jacksonville, Florida, where the chain has been allowing customers to reverse a free spicy chicken sandwich online to be picked-up in store.
So far, no riots have been reported.
Photo from Grub Grade
