Not the New Cupcake
Ring photo from pinc.stuff
Posts from the ‘I Do(nut)’ Category
Aug 6
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Outclassed
Ok, tenth anniversaries aren't exactly the same as marriage proposals, but I take my rings embedded in food where I can find them. Teresa, one of the lovely housewives of New Jersey was presented a yellow diamond tucked into a chocolate molten cake. It's somehow fitting that one of the most classy demonstrations of affection comes right along with one of the most classy* desserts.
Also, I was a little disappointed that an elaborate proposal took place right at Williamsburg's newish Loreley, and food wasn't employed in any fashion. Bratwursts are ideal ring delivery vehicles.
*Such a troubled word. My favorite reporter question when I briefly worked as a librarian at the New York Post was, "Is mahogany a classy wood?" I'm still not sure.
Worth the Wait
Nearly nothing perks my ears up more than these two words: food and proposal. So, the Shake Shack marriage proposal mentioned on Immaculate Infatuation complete with white tablecloth and candles was sweet and all, but the most important detail was omitted.
Where was the ring? Hidden at the bottom of a concrete? We all know how well it went for the Mormon kids who stashed a piece of symbolic jewelry in a Wendy’s Frosty.
Hot Potato
I didn’t start watching Rescue Me until this season. It’s entertaining in a guy-centric douchey way akin to Entourage but kind of smarter and more introspective. Normally, I hate starting shows in the middle (one reason why I’ve given up on ever taking up Mad Men. The first episode didn’t draw me in, it got removed from the DVR queue by the time the show got so popular it was too late for me) but beginning with season five hasn’t bothered me yet.
Of course that means that I have no idea who this woman from Lou’s past is. I gather she was a prostitute and stole his life savings. Hey, these things happen. But she’s back with a vengeance and is so sorry and changed in her ways that she’s proposing marriage with an engagement ring in the mashed potatoes. I do appreciate the role reversal even if it means embracing the hidden ring cliché.
Love is Hell
Hell’s Kitchen is good for something after all. First the fat dude who calls women fat got karmic payback when his heart started giving out. That would’ve been enough, but holy crap, a “spontaneous” dessert-based marriage proposal too?!
No truer words have been spoken than doomed contestant Ben’s upon witnessing the world’s most unique and romantic gesture, “It’s like being stuck in prison, then being able to look out the window and see a rainbow.”
Mar 17
Breakfast of Champions
Those Jeopardy get-to-know-me snippets after the first commercial break are always painful. I try to tune them out, but when I heard “propose” and “wife” on an episode last month (it’s taken me this long to figure out how to capture and upload a video from TV and it's still wonky) I opened my ears back up immediately.
No disappointments. Matt Cushman has quite the romantic tale involving a box of cereal and—yes, you guessed it—an engagement ring.
I’d like to poke a little more fun but no matter how cutely I get my hair cut with time it invariably morphs into Matt’s limp hairstyle. I cannot mock someone with a similar flat frazzled do (plus, the last time I mentioned a Jeopardy contestant, they went nuts in the comments).
Another Case Against Shoveling Your Food
You put Mormons and milkshakes together and hilarity is bound to ensue. A gentleman from New Mexico got the bright idea of stashing an engagement ring in his sweetheart’s Frosty while out with friends at Wendy's. And as LDS members are wont to do, an impromptu ice cream eating contest began. Chug! Chug! Chug!
Sure enough, the game girlfriend chowed down to the bottom of her cup with no ring to show for her efforts. After Kaitlin Whipple was sent home from the hospital with a most romantic x-ray she set about the serious business of reclaiming her prize.
“‘Everybody stocked me up on fiber and prune juice and everything we could think of, and pills just to make that thing come out!’ Kaitlin said.”
Two days later that Metamucil paid off. Aww…dreamy.
“Our first hug was the Heimlich maneuver”
Just in time for the Valentine’s season, a new article about the pitfalls of proposing in a restaurant is up at Gourmet.com. A topic near and dear to my heart, though I’m less concerned about the logistics of such operations and more interested in why men (and the occasional lady) need to hide jewelry in food in the first place.
On a side note, there’s been lots of Heimlich talk lately: gagging on rings in above article, the big Tom Colicchio save and a chicken and waffle mishap at Carroll Gardens’ own Buttermilk Channel. Maybe choking will be big in 2009.
Half-Caf Low-Fat Quarter-Carat
Not technically food, but damn close. A jewelry box tucked inside your macchiato cup? Does an engagement get any dreamier? I would’ve preferred a loose ring bobbing around in the coffee for dramatic effect.
Really, I was more fascinated to learn that NYC has drive-through Starbucks (this Coney Island location is the only one).
Photo courtesy of New York Daily News (I also like photo #5 with the dumpster in the background)
Bright Lights, Big City (of Light)
Despite Gourmet not providing me with any solid alfresco porn this month, they offered up a much more tantalizing bit. It seems that Jay McInerney proposed to his fourth wife (Patty Hearst’s sister) using food a vehicle. My favorite cliché!
A ring in the puff pastry at Alain Ducasse in Paris? Louche is one thing, but déclassé, as well? Quel horror.
Unfortunately, I will have to use my imagination for what this sweet (or was it savory?) baked offering looked like.
