It’s possible that chocolate is the new bacon (or maybe it has been all along). First, I heard about the toothpaste, then I was emailed about the fried chicken. There was a Nutella burger at the South Beach Food & Wine Festival. And now my favorite seltzer Vintage, that I buy when I’m too lazy to use the Sodastream, has put out a limited edition chocolate fudge flavor (as well as a candy cane one–I assume these were holiday promotions still lingering on the Fairway shelves a few weeks back).
The point of water is that it’s refreshing (and people who don’t like the taste of water are seriously messed up individuals who deserve to dehydrate) so citrus I get, even berry flavors are reasonable. Chocolate is not refreshing, and chocolate-flavored water isn’t sweet so it’s not exactly a dessert replacement unless you’re someone who makes pizza crusts from ground up cauliflower.
I imagined it would taste like a Tootsie Roll, in other words, not like chocolate at all but something that’s supposed to taste like chocolate, and that’s exactly what this beverage is like. Vintage is sharply carbonated with bubbles that almost create a flavor of their own on the tongue. The fizz dominates more than the artificial chocolate, and it works because of the subtlety.
While there is a baffling dearth of evidence anywhere online that this flavor actually exists, I have discovered evidence of a white chocolate seltzer made by a different company, so there is a precedent. A taste test comparison is surely in order.