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What Do You Call a Danish in Danish?

Danishes
Ok, I said I was going away. ENDCHUNK. But first, allow me to leave
some photos of danishes (well, mostly danishes) that I was sitting on with a
different purpose in mind and no longer feel like writing about. I naively
wondered if Danish people eat danishes. They
do, but call them  wienerbrød  a.k.a. Viennese  bread like our french fries and english
muffins, I suppose.

These specimens come from:

Sankt Peders Bageri

Lagkagehuset

La Glace

The Week in International Intrigue: Quiznos Borscht, Pie Donuts, McDonald-less Living

Quiznos russia

Cronuts, the NYC baked good anomaly that just won't quit,
reproduced by an American chain abroad? Now everyone's obsessed with Dunkin' Donuts in South Korea's New York Pie Donuts. The world has reached the pinnacle of
International Intrigue meets Chains of Love. Good night, my work is done here.

No really. I'm packing it in for the rest of the month to focus on…I'm not
sure yet, just not food blogging.

Nonetheless, it's still been quite a week for foreign
relations:

There are now two Quiznos in Russia. No word on the sandwiches, but there is borscht and cream of mushroom soup.

KFC is the leading international brand in China. McDonald's
ranks seventh.

Though it may be hard to believe, there are 105 countries
that are McDonald's-free.

Tossed will open 30 branches in the Middle East.

At the other end of the spectrum, Hakkasan, home of the $295 peking duck with kaluga caviar (at least in NYC) will soon be appearing in the not totally inappropriate location of Beverly Hills.

Photo: Quiznos Russia Facebook page.

 

Shades of Gray

The-Depressed-Cake-Shop--010

As someone who recently dyed their hair gray on purpose–why
is blonde the only acceptable summer shade?–I take issue with gray=depressed.  Yet this UK-based series of pop-up,  Depressed Cake Shops, selling gray (or grey if
you want to be all British) desserts with profits funding mental health
charities is compelling and fun. Normally, I'm all about food in crazy hues,
but gray can make a statement like nothing in the rainbow range of colors can. [Miss
Cakehead
via Edible Geography]

Photo: Safiyah Kelly via The Guardian

Revving Up

“All the motivation in the world is nothing without the right energy.” –Hormel

So true. I fear that the only thing keeping me getting off the couch on a sunny Saturday afternoon is a refrigerator lacking in Revs,
Hormel’s new packaged food item
that seems like something I would make if too lazy to go buy groceries or late-night drunk when the only thing open is San Loco.
(After a 4am dinner of cheese and crackers, this morning marked a new low–or is that high?–in laziness: a bagel breakfast sandwich ordered through
Seamless.) The angle being pushed is not just convenience, but protein, a recent American obsession on par with gluten avoidance. (Don’t just take it from me–57% of Americans are trying to buy packaged foods with more protein, according to a 2013 International Food Information Council Foundation survey.)

I only became aware of this snack that seems better suited for a gas station store shelf while at a suburban Target with a substantial grocery section (that still feels weirdly off-brand for me). Oh, so they’re selling a tortilla stuffed with lunch meat and a slice of cheese for $1.99? Ok.

Wegmans ready to eat

It didn’t make a full impact until an hour later when faced with the full line of eight Revs, displayed between every iteration of Lunchables at Wegmans. This is really a thing. Perhaps Hormel wanted to bank on the success of the McWrap but found the lettuce, cucumbers and sauce too complicated? Millennial bait? And I thought Hormel reached peak genius with Compleats.

I only regret not springing for one. I’ve yet to see Revs in the wild in Brooklyn, at least not at C Town.

Update: Revs are indeed at C Town. At my local there is a small row of four right before the register with the prepared sushi and salads that I’ve never seen anyone buy. Only two for $3 too. I still didn’t buy one.