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Shaken or Stirred?

Applebee's margarita

So, Mexican Martinis,  margaritas served with speared green olives and additional beverage left in the shaker, are a thing in Austin?

There's an Applebee's in Union, NJ that also makes such a libation (accidentally, I presumed). You're looking at it.

Chain Links: Burger Barrage

Giraffas

I feel like I should be excited by Steak 'n Shake coming to NYC but I'm not, and it's not an international chain anyway.

Giaffras sounds more like my kind of chain: cute animal mascot, long history,  strong branding and fast foodizing a cuisine we don't have much of in the US. The Brazilian steak and burger restaurant just opened in Miami. Please bring your estrogonofes and parmeggianas to NYC.

Pret a Manger is crossing the Chunnel and its name could cause problems in France. How gauche is a restaurant called Ready to Eat Food? Wait till Pink Taco shows up in Paris.

In a northwest to slightly less northwest move, Vancourver B.C.'s Vera's Burger Shack will be opening in Portland's Pearl District. As a crusty old-timer, I couldn't patronize in this so-called Pearl District that didn't exisit in my day. (Reading Eater PDX in preparation for my rare trip back home is blowing my mind with neighborhoods I've never heard of: N. Mississippi, Foster-Powell, Central Eastside Industrial, Alphabet District…what?)

Hardees in Kazakhstan will bring “real, American-style charbroiled burgers to the market.”

I'm not sure what Carl's Jr. will import to Indonesia.

Monte’s

I had only been to Monte’s Venetian Room, the so-called oldest Italian restaurant in Brooklyn that sat dormant for the past few years and was just reincarnated, once in its original state, probably around 2003. It was the last time I ever saw my stalker, an unstable former coworker (librarian, naturally) who originally seemed harmless because I thought he was gay and too old (late 30s, ha). I mean, it’s not like I get a lot of stalkers so I had to get the attention where I could find it even though it needed to be nipped in the bud. After two mid-afternoon gin and tonics at Monte’s bar, that was that was that.

Monte's facade

On Friday night, half past nine, the bar was the liveliest section of the new room, Venetian mural removed, wood-burning oven installed. The two-for-one drinks advertised on the chalkboard outside probably had something to do with it. We had our pick of seats and choose a red booth mimicking the original the leather banquettes in the same shade.

Monte's bresaola salad

The arugula salad with lots of parmesan and thin slices of breasola was good and; the focaccia and crusty Italian bread was a nice accompaniment.

Monte's bread basket

So, too was the diavola pizza, layered with sopressata, briny olives bound by a generous application of mozzarella atop a crust more yeasty than crackly. How did I become too distracted to take a photo? That never happens, which could be the sign that I’m finally weaning myself from rampant picture-taking. It really wasn’t because I was concentrating on the food, even though the pizza was at least as good as anything else in the neighborhood.

That was the issue I got stuck on. Why was no one there on a Friday night? It’s not the cuisine. Even though I think the area should put a moratorium on Italian food, I know I’m not the norm. South Brooklyn is teeming with similar reasonably priced antipasti, pasta, secondi restaurants and they’re busy. I don’t mean destinations like Frankies 457 or really Brucie, Rucola, Bocca Lupo or that ilk, but comparable spots like Savoia, the enoteca next to Marco Polo, Fragole. Even Red Rose, which always looks a little down on its luck gruffly turned me away a few months ago. Not a single free seat on a Saturday.

That leaves location as the problem. Gowanus, as much as I love it, isn’t really Carroll Gardens or Park Slope. There’s not a lot of foot traffic, hence no potential spillover from neighboring restaurants. I’ve always thought much of Smith Street’s popularity was due to the volume of restaurants, not necessarily the food quality. It looks bustling; people want to go. And if one place is full, you pick another Thai/Sushi/Italian/Small Plates option.

(Part of the reason I forgot to take photos was because when I saw James’ orecchiette I brought up Gabrielle Hamilton’s Blood, Bones &  Butter because I had just reached the part where she was making that pasta in Italy and I then started going off on a tangent about how had described Smith Street as “that minor-league stretch of Brooklyn that always disappoints,” which I wouldn’t disagree with. Then she lost me with the following overblown inaccuracy: “I would rather starve and kill my children—Medea-like—than eat the truffle oil omelette with chorizo ‘foam’ and piquillo peppers at Soleil or Blue Bird or whatever those restaurants are called…” Twee names maybe, but Spanish flourishes, foam and truffle oil are totally foreign concepts in the vicinity.)

Luna Rossa, at the butt-end of Court is in the same situation as Monte’s. They both have similar menus and aren’t grabbing attention on a non-prime block. I think people just go to Luna Rossa because they have a back garden. Perhaps, Monte’s could work the not-yet-realized patio beer garden mentioned in the press. I’m not sure what the solution is, but you have to stand out.

Monte's bar

One of the owners happened to be picking the brains of a young couple at the bar that had replaced the earlier, raucous crowd of locals. Are Open Table, Seamless Web, foursquare and email marketing blasts worth it? How to get on “foodie blogs?” Ostensibly, I work in digital marketing (and even wrote a report called Digital Dining: Chain Restaurants Add Social Media, Mobile to the Menu) but frankly I don’t feel comfortable giving advice because it would only be something obvious and generic like create a quality product and people will come to you. That’s as obnoxious as book deal bloggers talking about cream rising, passion, doing what you love and the money will follow, blah, blah.

I might try to capitalize on Monte’s history rather than coming in as just another Italian-American restaurant in an area thick with them. Keep the pizza, add updated classics, Rat Pack era cocktails or even modern cocktails with Italian flourishes–Fernet Branca is in, right? It could be pulled off by someone with a sharp aesthetic, but it would be tricky to avoid crossing over into kitsch or alienating whoever this target audience is supposed to be. Astor Room hasn’t been wildly successful with this approach, though, so I will zip it now.

Monte’s * 451 Carroll St., Brooklyn, NY

Cheek By Jowl

Bowery

It’s not that surprising that the warren of tiny makeshift living spaces captured by The New York Times is populated by Chinese.

Beijing

Just a few months ago the newspaper published a similar feature about the “mouse people” of Beijing. At least they have ceilings.

If you need any further proof of China’s boom and NYC’s extremes, look at the prices: $80 in China’s capital versus $100-$200 at 81 Bowery. I guess that makes Manhattan’s cubicle homes a better deal?

81

It’s certainly not an unheard of dwelling style in China and Hong Kong, and probably lots of other places around the world. Photographer Michael Wolf’s photo series, 100×100, captures residents of the 100-square-foot rooms of Hong Kong’s oldest public housing complex (since torn down).

I’m impressed that cooking is still given consideration. Even in such abbreviated space, most seem to have a rice cooker, mini-fridge and teapot, many also with hot plates or microwaves. I probably shouldn’t complain about my typically scrunched Brooklyn-sized kitchen again.

Photo credits: Annie Ling/NYT, Sim Chi Yin/NYT, Michael Wolf

I’m Loving It

I_Loving_Hut _logo There are a lot of dark horses in Technomic’s 50 fastest growing chains (with sales of $25 million to $50 million). I’d never even heard of breastaurant Brick House Tavern + Tap, in the number one spot. And they happen to have one in South Plainfield, right in the section of New Jersey where I run monthly errands. Beer bongs after Target and Costco? I’m serious about this.

Most surprising, though, was Loving Hut, a vegan, mildly culty restaurant I blogged about not so long ago, appearing at number 13. I guess a lot of people dig Supreme Master Ching Hai and/or veggie burgers.

Thai Rock

It is a rare circumstance where I allow a pad thai-and-chopsticks joint into my life, though if there’s any occasion for breaking rules it is on our nation’s birthday.

 

IMG_0329

Really, I just wanted to see this rough-and-tumble “The boardwalk is the new Bedford Avenue” paradise I’ve been inundated with for the past few months, and peek at my friends’ Rockaways summer rental. By the time I showed up, though (I have no interest in sunning, swimming or sand) everything was closing up and the line for tacos was easily 30-minutes-long.

Luckily, I remembered a press release I’d been sent months ago—and never thought I’d need—advertising a new Thai restaurant. And it turned out we’d only parked two blocks away. After a long weekend of docks, cover bands and sunsets and on Maryland’s Eastern Shore I could still stand more, though I’d had my fill of crab, crab cakes and fried clams. Why not Thai food, rainbow martinis and a live tribute to Credence Clearwater Revival and Louis Armstrong?

It would’ve been cool to discover blistering hot seafood and papaya salads so I could pretend I was in Hua Hin, but the Rockaways are no Thai beach. The food was as expected, lots of pick your protein curries and toned-down spice. To their credit, the menu is surprisingly far-ranging. Sure, pad thai tops the list of noodles, but they also serve less common rad nah, khao soi and khanom jeen. I certainly haven’t seen any of those three in my neck of the woods, despite a Thai restaurant practically being on every block.

Thai rock pad kee mao

If we order noodles, it’s usually pad kee mao, though. Here, with chicken (as well as Chinese flourishes: baby corn, peas, bamboo shoots and celery). It could’ve used a side of fish sauce with sliced chiles. I did not notice if they had diy condiments.

Thai rock chicken larb

The larb, chicken, also had a good enough foundation—and the necessary roasted rice powder—but leaned more limey than hot. I like my Thai salads more punishing.

Thai rock pad prik king

Rich and salty pad prik king was more purist, just pork and green beans, no superfluous vegetables.

Thai rock rainbow martini

Chang beer was an appropriate starter, but when in Rome a so-called rainbow martini had to be the follow-up. Really, it’s a pousse café, a nearly extinct style of cocktail that will most certainly show up in artisanal form soon if it hasn’t already. This trio of colorful liqueurs tasted like gummi bears. I want this version.

Thai rock patio

Since it was my first visit (yes, in 13 years here) to Rockaway Beach and the demographic appears to be shifting rapidly, it’s hard to say who Thai Rock’s audience is. On this early evening they were cooking for Europeans with babies, young, clean-cut couples who probably don’t live more than 20 minutes away, law enforcement-looking middle-aged men in polos, skinny girls with wavy mullets and high-waisted denim shorts over American flag swimsuits. The pair behind us complained that their food was too spicy, which only convinced James that our orders had swapped. I doubt it.

Visitors are looking for familiar flavors (while overlooking the baby corn) and a great view. And that’s what they’ll get.

Thai rock 4th of july sunset

Thai Rock * 375 Beach 92nd Street, Rockaway Beach, NY

A Fish Story

Chart_TotalRestaurantSeafoodSavings Even though popular cuisines like Italian, Mexican and Chinese include plenty of fish, you don’t see much of a fish presence on American menus. If we’re going to eat seafood at all, it’s fried and shrimp always trumps fish.

I know that I didn’t eat any seafood beyond Gorton’s frozen, breaded filets growing up and I definitely never ordered fish in a restaurant unless it was at Skipper’s, a long-gone chain similar to Long John Silver’s. I was sort of surprised, though I shouldn’t have been, when on my last visit to the Oregon Coast my mom didn’t want anything to do with the fresh Dungeness crab and giant oysters steamed on the spot. Don’t even think about ceviche. (Then again, on my mom's last visit we ate at so-so neighborhood Ameri-Mex mini-chain Mezcal's, and she was disappointed that there was no seafood burrito like you can find in Portland, so maybe I had her fish-eating habits all wrong.)

  • A look at Olive Garden shows that there are a shitload of shellfish-laced pastas, but only two pure fish dishes: herb-grilled salmon and parmesan crusted tilapia. Salmon and tilapia are definitely favored fish. One’s meaty, the other’s cheap.
  • Panda Express serves no fish, just fried shrimp while more upscale P.F. Chang’s does fairly well with five of their 13 seafood choices being fish (salmon, mahi mahi and Chilean sea bass, which I thought we weren’t supposed to be eating). The remaining eight feature shrimp.
  • Taco bell premiered shrimp burritos and tacos this year, just in time for Lent. Chevy’s has fish tacos that are surprisingly grilled not fried, as tradition dictates. Shrimp also appears on fajitas and in an enchilada along with crab. I always order the seafood enchilada at Chevy’s, which makes it sound like I eat there all the time even though I don’t.

Yet a recent NPD survey shows a different story:  grilled, baked, broiled and raw fish makes up 23% of seafood orders, slightly ahead of non-fried shrimp (21%), fried fish (14%) and fried shrimp (13%). Bizarrely, all other seafood—calamari? crab? scallops?—is the largest chunk of all at over one quarter.

Seafood only makes up 6% of all restaurant orders, though. And all those non-fried fish eaters are old and rich. Salmon is what happens when you’re an empty-nester watching your cholesterol.