About

The Scoop

  • In fourth grade someone got the bright idea of cutting lunch to an outrageous 15 minutes (as if going to a year-round school without a cafeteria wasn't enough--we ate at our desks and were served by mobile carts in the hall). To get the slow eaters (me) up to speed, our teachers implemented a charming little policy called "Shovel Time."

    The first nine minutes would pass normally. Then as the tenth approached, Miss Stauffer (a feathered-haired gal who drove a Camaro, loved Little River Band...and apparently still teaches at Hollydale Elementary) would yell, "Do you know what time it is?!" The class would manically shriek back, "SHOVEL TIME!!!" Talking was absolutely forbidden the final five minutes—it was a deathly silent scarf fest.

    I don't know if I've ever been the same since. But as a nod to this classy ritual, I've adopted the humble scooping implement as my rating system's icon. Shovel on!
    ----------------------------------
    1 Shovel=Passing Fancy
    2 Shovels=Puppy Love
    3 Shovels=Crippling Crush
    4 Shovels=Serious Stalking

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« Back on the Chain Gang | Main | La Esquina Criolla »

No Joke

I knew it would eventually happen and a couple weeks ago it did. Those $3,000+ Louis Vuitton bags that I entertained the notion of buying for about ten seconds started getting copied. There’s nothing subtle about the fakes; they’re completely garish and the one thing I had hoped would happen did: they misspelled all the bad jokes.

Real_3

The real (currently $4,300 on eBay)

Badfake

The really bad knock off ($35)

Fakejokes

The better but not great knock off ($200)

At least the cheap, super ugly fake got the spelling right. I found another style that mangles the bottom joke even further than the bag pictured above, “I’ve been mamod for thirty yeays and I’m stiu in love with the same woman.If my wafe ever tinds out she’ll killme”

It’s like poetry. And I do appreciate the seller's gift giving advice, "Give you wife or girlfriend on holiday."

The sad thing is that I’m too cheap to buy the so-so counterfeits. Do these atrocities really costs hundreds of dollars? I need to get over to Chinatown and find out.

March 11, 2008 in Shop Till You Drop |

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