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Food Felons

Petit_fours I can totally sympathize with this “Sweet Tooth Bandit” who spent nearly $700 at Swiss Colony using a stolen identity. I used to become desperate and tormented every holiday season when the unsolicited Swiss Colony catalog showed up on the mail. I would longingly page through the wish book, coveting the petit fours with all of my grade school being. I never ever got a single item from Swiss Colony and now that I have free will (and better taste in confectionary) I feel less compelled to order anything. If there’d only been an internet in the early ‘80s, who knows what havoc I might’ve tried to wreak.

–It’s not every day that fried chicken brings out the firebug in people. I do love the NYC brand name bastardization process. Somehow Kentucky Fried Chicken (don’t forget the Kitchen Fresh Chicken fiasco) becomes Kennedy Fried Chicken and then JFK Fried Chicken emerges.

I discovered the regionally confused chicken Maryland when I was in Penang. I never ordered any, but it appears to be fried chicken served with fried bananas, fritters, fries and sometimes sausage or bacon. Does that scream Baltimore to you?

The unanswered question in this arson case is why a Twin Donut would be selling fried chicken at all. Franchises are so renegade in NYC–I recall there used to be a Blimpie that sold Thai food on the side and a Chinatown Popeye’s that hawked pork dumplings under the counter. I’m sure there are countless other examples.

–Ok, malnourishment isn’t a felony but if your eating disorder fucks up my commute something criminal just might happen.

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  1. Lisa #

    Hmmm… “Santa’s Cocoa Delight” sounds like a porn film or such.

    There is something of a renegade franchise movement here in CA too, although I think people are more FDA conscious, and more likely to call the health department.

    I love to see old franchise restaurants that are recycled to serve new fare. My current favorite is an old Taco Bell which is now called “OK Chinese Food”. If it’s just “OK”, I’m not tempted to try it, but it makes me smile.

    January 3, 2007

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