The Scoop

  • In fourth grade someone got the bright idea of cutting lunch to an outrageous 15 minutes (as if going to a year-round school without a cafeteria wasn't enough--we ate at our desks and were served by mobile carts in the hall). To get the slow eaters (me) up to speed, our teachers implemented a charming little policy called "Shovel Time."

    The first nine minutes would pass normally. Then as the tenth approached, Miss Stauffer (a feathered-haired gal who drove a Camaro, loved Little River Band...and apparently still teaches at Hollydale Elementary) would yell, "Do you know what time it is?!" The class would manically shriek back, "SHOVEL TIME!!!" Talking was absolutely forbidden the final five minutes—it was a deathly silent scarf fest.

    I don't know if I've ever been the same since. But as a nod to this classy ritual, I've adopted the humble scooping implement as my rating system's icon. Shovel on!
    ----------------------------------
    1 Shovel=Passing Fancy
    2 Shovels=Puppy Love
    3 Shovels=Crippling Crush
    4 Shovels=Serious Stalking

Ad it Up

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New Green Bo

I'm not sure what Bo is, but I'm drawn to anything green (and accordingly, I wasn't disappointed by the color of the main dish). I'd heard more than a few kind words about this Shanghai restaurant, but the only dish that stuck in my mind was the yellow fish with dried seaweed, so that was a must try. Making other choices was semi-tricky, though. The menu is quite lengthy and while the sections for Rice Cakes and Special Cold Dishes intrigued me, I wasn't sure where to begin since I hadn't eaten those before.

First we chose turnip and ham pastries, which were hefty with a flaky crust, nicely finished with their bottoms dipped into sesame seeds. We also tried steamed tiny buns with pork that seemed more like soup dumplings than buns, which baffled me a bit. They had a cartoon xeroxed on all the tables about how to eat soup dumplings, yet the two words soup and dumpling appear nowhere together on the menu, so maybe that's what the buns really were. Both selections were pleasing, though I managed to make a mess of both--how do you eat what looks like a Chinese Hot Pocket with chopsticks?

Then there was a long wait for our tai chin chicken (some typical coated, fried, served with brown garlicky sauce number) and I started worrying that they were only bringing new dishes once the previous had been finished. The appetizers didn't come at the same time. We only got the buns after the pastries were eaten. I could feel myself getting full after just a couple chunks of chicken, and started to worry. Thankfully, the yellowfish made an appearance in the nick of time (the waitstaff was busy packing what looked to be food for 100 into boxes in the back).

I was excited by the platter of green-hued "fish sticks" placed in front of me. The dumb thing is, that I've never been fond of battered fried food. No matter how much my tongue likes the taste, my stomach will later rebel (which makes no sense since I've got a total iron gut and eat all sorts of other unhealthy crap like Buffalo wings, but then, they're not battered). I happily sprinkled the mysterious brown salt that accompanied them and nibbled away. However, the pretty green fish had me doubled over on the couch later that day, trying with all my might to keep them from coming back up. I don't blame this adverse reaction on New Green Bo. The same thing happens with tempura too, and that's never stopped me from ordering it. Note: I recently discovered some leftover yellowfish wrapped in foil in the back of James's fridge. It's is now Feb. That makes my stomach hurt all over again.

New Green Bo * 66 Bayard St., New York, NY 

p.s. I know they changed their name to Nice Green Bo a million years ago but I'm keeping this as is for old time's sake.

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